Charlie
Prompted Writing2 total reviews
Comment from Noble Collins
First of all - I like your take on Charlie. I have posted an entirely different vision entitled "Charlie plays the ukulele" if you care to read it. Yours is mellow, and nostalgic, yet conveys the universal passage of time with its constraints. My favorite lines in your work are: " His walk is laboured with the stiffness of time, and he moves as slowly as a summer evening, steady in it's warmth." I might suggest a little more editing before posting - I'm pretty sure "laboured" is mis-spelled, and "it's warmth" doesn't require the apostrophe. I know the feeling, though. You have something good, and you want to get it out there quickly - especially since this contest was about to close. Anyway - be proud of this one. It's a keeper.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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First of all - I like your take on Charlie. I have posted an entirely different vision entitled "Charlie plays the ukulele" if you care to read it. Yours is mellow, and nostalgic, yet conveys the universal passage of time with its constraints. My favorite lines in your work are: " His walk is laboured with the stiffness of time, and he moves as slowly as a summer evening, steady in it's warmth." I might suggest a little more editing before posting - I'm pretty sure "laboured" is mis-spelled, and "it's warmth" doesn't require the apostrophe. I know the feeling, though. You have something good, and you want to get it out there quickly - especially since this contest was about to close. Anyway - be proud of this one. It's a keeper.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much :-)
FYI- 'laboured' is the British spelling. It takes longer to read by virtue of letter count, takes a touch more effort to parse in this country. This, in my opinion, increases the meaning.
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
This is a great poem. It is sad to see our beloved pets get old with time. I suppose it happens to all of us. What a beautiful story about puppy love.
Well done
Cecilia
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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This is a great poem. It is sad to see our beloved pets get old with time. I suppose it happens to all of us. What a beautiful story about puppy love.
Well done
Cecilia
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Thank you
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You're welcome
Cecilia