Jinx, Me, and Captain Eddie-Pt4
Arriving at Cape Ann14 total reviews
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lee,
I wish I had a six buddy, but I'm fresh out. I like the tension that's building with Jinx and the captain. In a world where everything has been destroyed, its only a matter of time before all food will disappear unless they can come upon a place that grows crops or there are animals to harvest. It might be that those who perished with the bombs will be considered the fortunate ones. Well done my friend.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
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Hello Lee,
I wish I had a six buddy, but I'm fresh out. I like the tension that's building with Jinx and the captain. In a world where everything has been destroyed, its only a matter of time before all food will disappear unless they can come upon a place that grows crops or there are animals to harvest. It might be that those who perished with the bombs will be considered the fortunate ones. Well done my friend.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Lee,
A good continuation here. The characters are staying consistent and engaging. I really like the voice in the piece of Kenny narrating, there's a wry sense of humour running through his observations.
The dynamics between the three are pleasing as well. Things are moving forward here well and a great ending to this instalment.
Considering the nightmare were living, - we're?
All the best
G
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Hi Lee,
A good continuation here. The characters are staying consistent and engaging. I really like the voice in the piece of Kenny narrating, there's a wry sense of humour running through his observations.
The dynamics between the three are pleasing as well. Things are moving forward here well and a great ending to this instalment.
Considering the nightmare were living, - we're?
All the best
G
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Thank you, G. You read like a writer. Sadly, that's not common on FS. I appreciate the way you understand what I'm trying to do.
Yes, Kenny is starting to come into his own as the narrator. He's smart, but he's scared. That's a good combo for a narrator. He counters his fear with humor.
Your comments mean a lot to me. Keep me honest, G.
Peace, Lee
Comment from karenina
I'm glad Captain Eddie found the "Missy" because I am on board, "tacking" with you for the long haul. The "hard rain" borders on apocalyptic--buffered not by hopeful signs of life but by the occasional vending machine.
(Even in the dark times supply and demand economics trickle down to an eagle eye and a GDP of luck, to stave off hunger.)
Kenny has some serious discordant feelings about Jinx and Captain Eddie. He scrambles like a crab from begrudgingly acknowledging that Eddie has some skills (none of them being "charm" in Kenny's estimation) --to delighting in every point of friction between Eddie and Jinx.
Jinx has a fierce independent streak that belies desperation...and you're weaving that thread nicely, with her bristling about being called "Honey" and questioning Captain Eddie's sea-faring plan.
I think we're heading for a "Maine" event and can't wait to see what this trio uncovers next!
My favorite line in this chapter: "Jinx, who sat next to me on a pew of polished driftwood..."
(Because the mere act of them trying to outrun destruction has some kind of faith built-in)
A few notes/questions:
"Considering the nightmare were living" (we're)
"The same reason they bombed a junior high school in Worcester."
(Was this the "Worchester you referred to in the last chapter?)
"His Scrounge wasn't half as successful." (and) "Shouldn't we Scrounge for more supplies first? If today's Scrounge is any indication . . ."
(Scrounge is capitalized--author's license?)
Just don't consider docking this vessel anytime soon.
It's a heck of a read!
Karenina
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I'm glad Captain Eddie found the "Missy" because I am on board, "tacking" with you for the long haul. The "hard rain" borders on apocalyptic--buffered not by hopeful signs of life but by the occasional vending machine.
(Even in the dark times supply and demand economics trickle down to an eagle eye and a GDP of luck, to stave off hunger.)
Kenny has some serious discordant feelings about Jinx and Captain Eddie. He scrambles like a crab from begrudgingly acknowledging that Eddie has some skills (none of them being "charm" in Kenny's estimation) --to delighting in every point of friction between Eddie and Jinx.
Jinx has a fierce independent streak that belies desperation...and you're weaving that thread nicely, with her bristling about being called "Honey" and questioning Captain Eddie's sea-faring plan.
I think we're heading for a "Maine" event and can't wait to see what this trio uncovers next!
My favorite line in this chapter: "Jinx, who sat next to me on a pew of polished driftwood..."
(Because the mere act of them trying to outrun destruction has some kind of faith built-in)
A few notes/questions:
"Considering the nightmare were living" (we're)
"The same reason they bombed a junior high school in Worcester."
(Was this the "Worchester you referred to in the last chapter?)
"His Scrounge wasn't half as successful." (and) "Shouldn't we Scrounge for more supplies first? If today's Scrounge is any indication . . ."
(Scrounge is capitalized--author's license?)
Just don't consider docking this vessel anytime soon.
It's a heck of a read!
Karenina
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an interesting part of their adventure. I'd kill for a Snickers under those conditions. Sounds as if the previous owner of "Missy" might still be aboard, although not in good condition. I would skip the mention of Hollywood squares as I can barely remember that program and I am 78. Looking forward to the next installment. Have you thought of going all the way to a book. After the fall of civilization books are suddenly everywhere.
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This is an interesting part of their adventure. I'd kill for a Snickers under those conditions. Sounds as if the previous owner of "Missy" might still be aboard, although not in good condition. I would skip the mention of Hollywood squares as I can barely remember that program and I am 78. Looking forward to the next installment. Have you thought of going all the way to a book. After the fall of civilization books are suddenly everywhere.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
Comment from pome lover
another good one. your ending was just like mine on my latest jaunt - chapter three of Cheapskate.
Anyway, I'm assuming there's a dead body in the cabin. or some weird mutation, or somebody with the plague, or some such. or roaches!!!!
No clue what Jinx is upset about, though. hmmm
Katharine
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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another good one. your ending was just like mine on my latest jaunt - chapter three of Cheapskate.
Anyway, I'm assuming there's a dead body in the cabin. or some weird mutation, or somebody with the plague, or some such. or roaches!!!!
No clue what Jinx is upset about, though. hmmm
Katharine
Comment Written 02-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Katharine. Given the genre, all of your suggestions as to what might have caused Jinx to scream are perfectly reasonable. But I reserve the right to surprise you. I can reveal no more.
I'll have to look up your Chapter Three.
One of my favorite aspects of writing is the opportunity to set up my readers, then pull the rug out from under them.
As a reader, I always enjoy it when an author tosses me an unexpected curve ball.
Thanks again, Katharine. Next week, I hope you'll remark on how I handled the 'cliff hanger.'
Peace, Lee
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will do
Comment from LJbutterfly
Kenny heard a possible scream. The origin of the sound has to be explored and explained, which adds additional mystery to the story. Therefore, this can't possibly be just a short story.
I'm glad Kenny is the narrator. Though humorous, his views and observations are more realistic than those of Jinx, even though she is more optimistic. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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Kenny heard a possible scream. The origin of the sound has to be explored and explained, which adds additional mystery to the story. Therefore, this can't possibly be just a short story.
I'm glad Kenny is the narrator. Though humorous, his views and observations are more realistic than those of Jinx, even though she is more optimistic. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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Thanks, LJ. I like Kenny as the narrator, too. He's borderline neurotic. He's smart, but not self-assured. He's in love with Jinx, but she scares him to death. His nervousness makes him verbalize. Just what I want from a narrator.
You're right. This is not a short story. I hope it ends up being a novella. I'm not sure I want to spend a year or better dodging Hard Rain.
Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment from Terry Broxson
I loved the notes. Isn't that the truth for many writers? I have felt you have something longer. Keep writing. I like the Keeper of the Hope title. It's a sad setting but wonderful writing laced with humor. Well done, Terry.
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I loved the notes. Isn't that the truth for many writers? I have felt you have something longer. Keep writing. I like the Keeper of the Hope title. It's a sad setting but wonderful writing laced with humor. Well done, Terry.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2024
Comment from lyenochka
Enjoyed your signature humor in this chapter, Lee! I especially liked how Kenny knows how to read Jinx's body language. Although the narrator is rather too insecure in himself to be the Keeper of Hope, he does seem to be very observant and practical.
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Enjoyed your signature humor in this chapter, Lee! I especially liked how Kenny knows how to read Jinx's body language. Although the narrator is rather too insecure in himself to be the Keeper of Hope, he does seem to be very observant and practical.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2024
Comment from GWHARGIS
Nope, this is novel material. No short story. You keep going. You have three well fleshed out characters here. They each have their hidden agendas but their goal of survival is shared. This is a great installment. Gretchen
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Nope, this is novel material. No short story. You keep going. You have three well fleshed out characters here. They each have their hidden agendas but their goal of survival is shared. This is a great installment. Gretchen
Comment Written 01-Dec-2024
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Careful you don't starve 'em to death.
I'm certain I'm underqualified for the job. - I've been criticized for omitting the 'that' before your second 'I'm', but I', with you.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2024
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Careful you don't starve 'em to death.
I'm certain I'm underqualified for the job. - I've been criticized for omitting the 'that' before your second 'I'm', but I', with you.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Wayne. Yeah, some of the 'corrections' we receive are bogus. 'That' is totally unnecessary in this case. The sentence makes perfect sense as is. Lots of people who 'that' like there is unlimited supply. I, for one, omit 'that' whenever I can.
Thanks again. Peace, Lee