City Council at its Finest
Cheapskate - chapter 315 total reviews
Comment from Tim Margetts
This is good.
You had me gripped from the first to the last.
I now need to know what happens next, so i am going to tag you and wait eagerly.
Thanks for sharing
Tim
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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This is good.
You had me gripped from the first to the last.
I now need to know what happens next, so i am going to tag you and wait eagerly.
Thanks for sharing
Tim
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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thanks, Tim. Couldn't ask for a better report. I can't remember if you read the first two or not, but they aren't long, and do fill you in. Am working on chapter 4. I hadn't planned this, you know. I thought I was finished after the first chapter. So it's kinda flying by the seat of my pants, so to speak.
Katharine
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Katharine,
this was a pretty exciting post. One never knows where things will lead when we decide to break the law, for whatever reason. There are always consequences. They don't always show up right away, but the law of sowing and reaping can't be denied. Well done gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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Hello Katharine,
this was a pretty exciting post. One never knows where things will lead when we decide to break the law, for whatever reason. There are always consequences. They don't always show up right away, but the law of sowing and reaping can't be denied. Well done gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024
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thanks, Tom. I've got to finish this thing. It's like a weed. Keeps growing :)
Comment from humpwhistle
Ah, we both ended our chapters with a scream. The old tried and true cliffhanger device. It'll be interesting to see how we each pay it off.
I love that you use mostly dialogue to propel your story. Resist the urge to do too much explaining. Your readers want you to drop clues and hints. That's how to engage the reader. Give him or her a chance to be active. Give them a role to play.
Well done.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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Ah, we both ended our chapters with a scream. The old tried and true cliffhanger device. It'll be interesting to see how we each pay it off.
I love that you use mostly dialogue to propel your story. Resist the urge to do too much explaining. Your readers want you to drop clues and hints. That's how to engage the reader. Give him or her a chance to be active. Give them a role to play.
Well done.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 02-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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thanks, Lee, and your stories do that for me, but I was just kind of pulling your leg.
Thanks for the lovely review!
Katharine
Comment from LJbutterfly
When I read the very first episode of this story, I never would have imagined it would develop into this suspenseful, action packed story. It sounds like Marilyn hid in the bathroom, not knowing her husband, Jim, would try to shoot her friend, Kate. Now, what is Marilyn going to do? What a tangled web you have woven.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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When I read the very first episode of this story, I never would have imagined it would develop into this suspenseful, action packed story. It sounds like Marilyn hid in the bathroom, not knowing her husband, Jim, would try to shoot her friend, Kate. Now, what is Marilyn going to do? What a tangled web you have woven.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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right. The first chapter was supposed to be a story in itself for a magazine contest which I entered too late, but when some FSians said I should go on with the story, so, I'm giving it a go. I didn't expect these happenings, either :)
chuckling - you're right. It is a tangled web!
Comment from Gayla putnam
Wow, there are lots of bad guys in this one. Lucky Kate is quite the shot. I saw one small mistake. In the paragraph that starts, "It started with Carl," you say Marilyn when it should be Mildred, who is dead. This sounds like No Country for Old Men. Don't go against the druggers. It's an edge-of-your-seat story. gayla
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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Wow, there are lots of bad guys in this one. Lucky Kate is quite the shot. I saw one small mistake. In the paragraph that starts, "It started with Carl," you say Marilyn when it should be Mildred, who is dead. This sounds like No Country for Old Men. Don't go against the druggers. It's an edge-of-your-seat story. gayla
Comment Written 02-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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oops, thanks. gotta go back and find it.
Comment from estory
This is pretty good action suspense. We get drawn in quickly with this scene where one of the women is running from a mysterious man after her. He writes down the license plate number of her friend. Then she tells her friend about this drug smuggling operation they have gotten into, from which there seems to be no escape. The action at the end just explodes suddenly. The door breaks down, the shooting starts, and the girl hiding in the bathroom screams. The tension is just non stop, the action just jumps at you. estory
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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This is pretty good action suspense. We get drawn in quickly with this scene where one of the women is running from a mysterious man after her. He writes down the license plate number of her friend. Then she tells her friend about this drug smuggling operation they have gotten into, from which there seems to be no escape. The action at the end just explodes suddenly. The door breaks down, the shooting starts, and the girl hiding in the bathroom screams. The tension is just non stop, the action just jumps at you. estory
Comment Written 02-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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thank you! If you feel like it, 1 and 2 aren't long and would give you the feel of the story before I think up chapter 4 :) just in case you are so inclined :)
Katharine
Comment from GWHARGIS
Spacing looked fine to me. This is certainly action packed. I like Kate. She's a quick thinker and a problem solver. Drugs make people act like nuts sometimes. Especially when large amounts of money are involved . I'm really enjoying this. Gretchen
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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Spacing looked fine to me. This is certainly action packed. I like Kate. She's a quick thinker and a problem solver. Drugs make people act like nuts sometimes. Especially when large amounts of money are involved . I'm really enjoying this. Gretchen
Comment Written 01-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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thanks Gretchen! I hadn't thought about the fact that when you write chapters close together, you either have to spend a lot of time reviewing to get points, OR pay money each time, and my days are rather full at present. So the timing on my posts will be a bit irregular, I'm afraid. But I am glad you like it!!!!
Katharine
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This really was tense. The two women are in trouble, but Kate already was, even before Marilyn told her about what was going on. That Jim came shooting without knowing if his wife was in the room, that was bad. At least Kate only aimed for his shooting arm. She's a good shot! You've left us with a cliffhanger, is she screaming because it's Jim, or is someone behind him. Well done, Katharine! I will be watching out for the next part. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2024
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This really was tense. The two women are in trouble, but Kate already was, even before Marilyn told her about what was going on. That Jim came shooting without knowing if his wife was in the room, that was bad. At least Kate only aimed for his shooting arm. She's a good shot! You've left us with a cliffhanger, is she screaming because it's Jim, or is someone behind him. Well done, Katharine! I will be watching out for the next part. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 01-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2024
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Sandra, thank you!
Yes, Marilyn screamed when she saw her husband bleeding on the floor, not realizing at first, that he had shot at where he thought Kate was.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a good next step into the story. Marilyn screamed---is a great cliffhanger to end this portion with. You have a missing word, I think---make (sure) Jim went . . .
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2024
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This is a good next step into the story. Marilyn screamed---is a great cliffhanger to end this portion with. You have a missing word, I think---make (sure) Jim went . . .
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2024
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eek! you're right. Don't know how that got there. Thanks for the catch!!
Comment from judiverse
The drug scene is bad, and when city council members are involved, it's really terrible. Was Jim intending to kill his wife? Things are getting desperate. Reminds me of the Barnaby Jones series. Often the killer commits one crime and then commits more to try to cover up. It's a long road, once they start going down that path. It wasn't so easy for Jim to get out of the deal. Good thing Kate had the gun. This is really moving at a great pace. Great characters, too. judi
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2024
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The drug scene is bad, and when city council members are involved, it's really terrible. Was Jim intending to kill his wife? Things are getting desperate. Reminds me of the Barnaby Jones series. Often the killer commits one crime and then commits more to try to cover up. It's a long road, once they start going down that path. It wasn't so easy for Jim to get out of the deal. Good thing Kate had the gun. This is really moving at a great pace. Great characters, too. judi
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2024
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Judy, you always make me feel so good! Thanks!
Not sure yet what's going to happen. Will think about that tomorrow - shades of Scarlett O'Hara :)
