Crow eater
What would happen if I ate a crow bird alive?... hmm5 total reviews
Comment from Julie G1
Well done. This poem presents an intriguing and vivid imagery, selecting language and meter that is very effective. This reader hopes the poet keeps on composing verse.
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Well done. This poem presents an intriguing and vivid imagery, selecting language and meter that is very effective. This reader hopes the poet keeps on composing verse.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
Comment from T.E. Loper
I liked this. It has a hip-hop quality, especially the first verse with its two-syllable rhymes. Nicely done. I guess we've all had dreams of soaring like a bird. You're lucky to have eaten a crow; I myself ate turkey for Thanksgiving, and they (and I) don't fly.
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I liked this. It has a hip-hop quality, especially the first verse with its two-syllable rhymes. Nicely done. I guess we've all had dreams of soaring like a bird. You're lucky to have eaten a crow; I myself ate turkey for Thanksgiving, and they (and I) don't fly.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
Comment from Y. M. Roger
A very unique form that certainly tells a bit of a creepy story (wink, wink) ... well done! ;) I would suggest that even though your lines rhyme, it is awkward to read through as it is difficult for the reader to find a rhythm here.. Perhaps try counting syllables and make the longer ones a bit closer in number or find a pattern of numbers so that when read aloud, you can find that 'rhythm'... As a suggestion, the small repeated 'song' would be easier read as:
I ate a crow,
Now I can soar
Up in the air
Like ne'er before
Great presentation and imagination! ;) Thanx for sharing and look forward to reading you again! ;)
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A very unique form that certainly tells a bit of a creepy story (wink, wink) ... well done! ;) I would suggest that even though your lines rhyme, it is awkward to read through as it is difficult for the reader to find a rhythm here.. Perhaps try counting syllables and make the longer ones a bit closer in number or find a pattern of numbers so that when read aloud, you can find that 'rhythm'... As a suggestion, the small repeated 'song' would be easier read as:
I ate a crow,
Now I can soar
Up in the air
Like ne'er before
Great presentation and imagination! ;) Thanx for sharing and look forward to reading you again! ;)
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
Comment from Gayla putnam
What an imaginative poem! I loved the repeating chorus. The concept was so original and fresh, and the tempo moved smoothly. The transformation was cleverly done. gayla
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What an imaginative poem! I loved the repeating chorus. The concept was so original and fresh, and the tempo moved smoothly. The transformation was cleverly done. gayla
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
First of welcome to Fan Story. I think you will like it here. There are a lot of seasoned authors who will help you along the way i you need it. I have only been here about three months and I absolutely love it.
You poem is very good. I like how it rhymes and has a natural flow from beginning to end. It is clear you have a very creative brain to come up with this poem.
Well done
Cecilia
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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First of welcome to Fan Story. I think you will like it here. There are a lot of seasoned authors who will help you along the way i you need it. I have only been here about three months and I absolutely love it.
You poem is very good. I like how it rhymes and has a natural flow from beginning to end. It is clear you have a very creative brain to come up with this poem.
Well done
Cecilia
Comment Written 28-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment I apprecitate it.
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You're welcome
Cecilia