Secret
Story /Fiction5 total reviews
Comment from Richard Frohm
Wow..,.,,what a story. Your writing is absolutely amazing. The story itself was excellent. But your writing brought it to a higher level.
I am looking forward to reading more of your works!
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Wow..,.,,what a story. Your writing is absolutely amazing. The story itself was excellent. But your writing brought it to a higher level.
I am looking forward to reading more of your works!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Thanks for that encouraging review -much appreciated. zanya
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Congratulations, Zanya, on your contest win! Your story is, clearly, ideally suited to this prompt and concerns a deep and momentous secret that was eventually shared with Egbert. Because he was so honourable and had loved Anna so dearly, he would keep that secret (while acknowledging his only son) and forever respect Anna's reputation. Quite a burden to bear for him and, according to legend, it would weigh heavily, even after death. Your compelling story is framed in the sort of language that would have prevailed among the aristocracy of the time, has excellent character development and a message of morality and enduring love. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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Congratulations, Zanya, on your contest win! Your story is, clearly, ideally suited to this prompt and concerns a deep and momentous secret that was eventually shared with Egbert. Because he was so honourable and had loved Anna so dearly, he would keep that secret (while acknowledging his only son) and forever respect Anna's reputation. Quite a burden to bear for him and, according to legend, it would weigh heavily, even after death. Your compelling story is framed in the sort of language that would have prevailed among the aristocracy of the time, has excellent character development and a message of morality and enduring love. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 02-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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A superb review & I'm simply thrilled to win. zanya
Comment from RJ Heritage
This is a very well written story, and the verbiage lends itself to that old English vibe. Your descriptions of the atmosphere and characters, are unforced, which is not always an easy thing to accomplish. This, along with the gentle flow of the story create clear imagery. I might have suggested using an image of an old Victorian house or castle, but this is just personal preference, not necessary, in hindsight, perhaps, a bit overdone.
Well done.
RJ
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2024
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This is a very well written story, and the verbiage lends itself to that old English vibe. Your descriptions of the atmosphere and characters, are unforced, which is not always an easy thing to accomplish. This, along with the gentle flow of the story create clear imagery. I might have suggested using an image of an old Victorian house or castle, but this is just personal preference, not necessary, in hindsight, perhaps, a bit overdone.
Well done.
RJ
Comment Written 28-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2024
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What a superb review of the story with detailed analysis of writing aspects. So much appreciated together with those six twinkling stars. Thanks for the accolade. Zanya
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Well deserved.
RJ
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
This was a great story and I would say that was a big secret your character never gave up. What a shame. This story flows nicely from start to finish.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Cecilia
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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This was a great story and I would say that was a big secret your character never gave up. What a shame. This story flows nicely from start to finish.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Cecilia
Comment Written 27-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2024
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Great review zanya
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You're welcome
Cecilia
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
i was with this piece up until the last few paragraphs when it just lost my interest entirely.
I made some notes as I read through-
His solicitor. crabby old Sir William, - comma rather than period following solicitor.
His ancestors had lived mostly for three score years and ten. Not bad in 1945.
- this is a bit of an anachronism. By 1945, no one really kept ages like this.
on the battlefield in World War 11, - use II (capital i rather double 1)
those creaking stairs, where a candle flame often flickers. in dilapidated Maron Manor, - comma after flickers rather than a period.
the ending is a bit of a let down as the story just seems to falter and then completely change course. Also, it's not that far back either 1945. His son would have been around in the 1970s when he in his sixties...
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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Hi there,
i was with this piece up until the last few paragraphs when it just lost my interest entirely.
I made some notes as I read through-
His solicitor. crabby old Sir William, - comma rather than period following solicitor.
His ancestors had lived mostly for three score years and ten. Not bad in 1945.
- this is a bit of an anachronism. By 1945, no one really kept ages like this.
on the battlefield in World War 11, - use II (capital i rather double 1)
those creaking stairs, where a candle flame often flickers. in dilapidated Maron Manor, - comma after flickers rather than a period.
the ending is a bit of a let down as the story just seems to falter and then completely change course. Also, it's not that far back either 1945. His son would have been around in the 1970s when he in his sixties...
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 24-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2024
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It's always good to get a meaningful review - and this is one of those. You say the ending segued as it were, somewhere else. Me too, I had the same impression. The ending 'showed up,' as it were and took me by surprise!! zanya