Animal House Revisited
My life, my fraternal experiences14 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a great story, recording social events at university in often very detailed prose. However there are typos throughout and, ideally, it should have been proof-read before posting, especially as it's intended for a contest. Also the blocks of text are often too large and you should aim for smaller paragraphs so that your story can be easily read and you don't deter reviewers. According to the guidelines for reviewing, this should really fall into 4* but I'll make an exception. I would however also suggest that the last paragraph, by far the best and most interesting, could have taken up a larger proportion of your story, had this been properly structured. But well done anyway and good luck! Debbie
hard part(y)ing..wild individuals (w)ho
paid attention (to) what was necessary...
then locked the doors to any ac(c)ess...
This will one up later in this story?
with very rich controlling culturally rich families (2 x rich)
why we did not get discipl(i)ned is amazing
The speaker(s) were put on the roof
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
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This is a great story, recording social events at university in often very detailed prose. However there are typos throughout and, ideally, it should have been proof-read before posting, especially as it's intended for a contest. Also the blocks of text are often too large and you should aim for smaller paragraphs so that your story can be easily read and you don't deter reviewers. According to the guidelines for reviewing, this should really fall into 4* but I'll make an exception. I would however also suggest that the last paragraph, by far the best and most interesting, could have taken up a larger proportion of your story, had this been properly structured. But well done anyway and good luck! Debbie
hard part(y)ing..wild individuals (w)ho
paid attention (to) what was necessary...
then locked the doors to any ac(c)ess...
This will one up later in this story?
with very rich controlling culturally rich families (2 x rich)
why we did not get discipl(i)ned is amazing
The speaker(s) were put on the roof
Comment Written 22-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2024
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I am learning the right way to way to review and critic your own writings. Will improve and enlist my wife to help. She has never been reluctant to tell me what to do.
Comment from Sanku
It is scary to read what all happens in a university dorm.. I have oe question.. those who try drugs and others things ,do they become addicts in later years or once that stage is ove r they come back to working hard towards a degree? and then a normal meaningful life? One boy i knew who was rumoured to be taking drugs ,later on became a family man though he is not earning much because he didnt get his degree..
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2024
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It is scary to read what all happens in a university dorm.. I have oe question.. those who try drugs and others things ,do they become addicts in later years or once that stage is ove r they come back to working hard towards a degree? and then a normal meaningful life? One boy i knew who was rumoured to be taking drugs ,later on became a family man though he is not earning much because he didnt get his degree..
Comment Written 22-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2024
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Everyone is different in how that phase is handled and how they deal with what they did at a younger age. Then how to behave when a more demanding role is presented. I have no idea how others proceeded in later life. As I pointed out in the writing I studied hard, performed at an exemplary level in very demanding courses. Graduated with a 3.95/4.0 grade level. The wild environment, occasional use of drugs never stopped my advancement ever. My girlfriend at the time, my wife for 47 years now, came with me to the library to be with me. Her grade average was at a C level. Then a straight A level. She did not party much before or after but was not applying herself to the necessary level. I became a very talented Veterinarian again with a 3.95 average. Again we are all different.
Comment from joann r romei
This was very entertaining, and I'm sure many college students share these wild stories. However it bothers me that campus life should be taken more seriously, lol.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2024
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This was very entertaining, and I'm sure many college students share these wild stories. However it bothers me that campus life should be taken more seriously, lol.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2024
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What happened then happens today and will forever. Kids will be kids.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice entry.
Lucky you weren't banned from campus and the building burned to the ground by the 'nice' guys.
then locked the doors to any acsess to the kitchen. - oops
This will one up later in this story. - (show up?)
...the sexual revolution had just started - You're about 8-10 years late per the California timetable. Prob'ly better to just drop this line.
Good luck.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2024
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Nice entry.
Lucky you weren't banned from campus and the building burned to the ground by the 'nice' guys.
then locked the doors to any acsess to the kitchen. - oops
This will one up later in this story. - (show up?)
...the sexual revolution had just started - You're about 8-10 years late per the California timetable. Prob'ly better to just drop this line.
Good luck.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2024
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As pointed out for some reason security was almost nonexistent. Surprisingly the raiding of the kitchen was only addressed many years later. I don't think anybody would have turned themselves in. I was called in to see the Vice president of the University after the parking lot party and the episode with the pizza truck. Expected to be lectured and a suspension of our charter. As in the movie, poor grades were the only subject brought up. What a relief and since he knew I personally was top in the science wards, had almost straight A grades, he accepted that I would start a tutoring program we woulld have improvement by next semester. That was totally acceptable for him, meeting over. As far as kids my age, the sexual revolution did just start as we were way to young to take any advantage of what was happening, especially in California. We tried to catch up but most of the girls looked at us as if we were monkeys, which many acted like that.
Comment from Tim Margetts
I am a Brit and I happily admit I have no concept of or understanding of the whole Frat, Sorority system. To me, it seems just totally weird and beyond comprehension.
Having said that, if I ignored the whole Sigma Delta stuff, the story was a fun journey through the excesses of adolescence and early adulthood.
I was a youth of the '70s as well so, I get the scene and had my own moments
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2024
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I am a Brit and I happily admit I have no concept of or understanding of the whole Frat, Sorority system. To me, it seems just totally weird and beyond comprehension.
Having said that, if I ignored the whole Sigma Delta stuff, the story was a fun journey through the excesses of adolescence and early adulthood.
I was a youth of the '70s as well so, I get the scene and had my own moments
Comment Written 21-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2024
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Again thanks for reading this wild and crazy narrative of this particular fraternity, this University, the early 1970s. I had a goal, needed to perform at a very high level and in demanding fields. I accomplished this in spite of the wild parties and daily temptations. I moved on to enter a very demanding profession. Did have fun in those days. Also met my future wife, now married for 47 years, lucky me.
Comment from CM Kelly
Loved this story and the style. I had to stay engaged while reading it because it moves so fast. I too was in a Frat, Skull House at PSU, 78-80. My experience was more of a PG rating. We had the excessive partying, but primarily it was drinking and pot, yes there was acid, LSD, etc in the house but I stayed away from that gang. I also wrote a short story about my experience, it was very positive, I'll post it tonight. Sadly, Frats are on the "out" with the latest wave of College Administrators, at PSU 25 of the 49 have been shut down. Frats ain't for everyone but it worked for me. I'll have to read more of your stories.
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Loved this story and the style. I had to stay engaged while reading it because it moves so fast. I too was in a Frat, Skull House at PSU, 78-80. My experience was more of a PG rating. We had the excessive partying, but primarily it was drinking and pot, yes there was acid, LSD, etc in the house but I stayed away from that gang. I also wrote a short story about my experience, it was very positive, I'll post it tonight. Sadly, Frats are on the "out" with the latest wave of College Administrators, at PSU 25 of the 49 have been shut down. Frats ain't for everyone but it worked for me. I'll have to read more of your stories.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I went to college in Mid-Illinois in late sixties. Fraternities there were like yours, one even worse as they were finally closed down because of the machine guns and a few near deaths. Had a lot of kids with papa's in the Chicago Mob (my roommate included). She talked about being rich a lot and stole my clothes when her dad came and got her mid-term. One of my dates fixed horses at Arlington Racetrack. I thought he was talking about becoming a vet. Did you go the vet or human patient plan? Your writing would be a little easier to read if you had more paragraphs. When you talk about the different frats, they could each have their own paragraph. The last five paragraphs are correctly divided. You might separate the drug users from the party details in the paragraph before that. The second paragraph really needs dividing up. You brought up some good memories for me and some not so good. Can't make paragraphs in this because it is not a very big box.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2024
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I went to college in Mid-Illinois in late sixties. Fraternities there were like yours, one even worse as they were finally closed down because of the machine guns and a few near deaths. Had a lot of kids with papa's in the Chicago Mob (my roommate included). She talked about being rich a lot and stole my clothes when her dad came and got her mid-term. One of my dates fixed horses at Arlington Racetrack. I thought he was talking about becoming a vet. Did you go the vet or human patient plan? Your writing would be a little easier to read if you had more paragraphs. When you talk about the different frats, they could each have their own paragraph. The last five paragraphs are correctly divided. You might separate the drug users from the party details in the paragraph before that. The second paragraph really needs dividing up. You brought up some good memories for me and some not so good. Can't make paragraphs in this because it is not a very big box.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2024
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Thanks. The lack of paragraphs has been brought up. My mistake. Did an edit to add paragraphs. Wrote this very early in the morning one day, so my foggy mind was telling me what to do. Then told by family the clock is ticking and I had more important duties.
Comment from DonandVicki
A very chilling end to your story. Stealing an aircraft and almost killing themselves. I have been to some wild parties but yours certainly made mine look tame.
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A very chilling end to your story. Stealing an aircraft and almost killing themselves. I have been to some wild parties but yours certainly made mine look tame.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2024
Comment from Julie Helms
Hey Rick,
Wild times, indeed! My father was a Sigma Chi and my mother a little sister there (mid-sixties) so I've heard some stories, but greatly edited for my ears.
You write in stream-of-consciousness which lends your piece a sense of rawness and unfiltered truth (unlike my parent's stories).
My suggestion is to add many paragraph breaks for easier reading. Also, you have a lot of typos. I think if you reread it out loud to yourself, you'll easily spot them. It's worth it to do for a contest entry to keep it in contention.
Thanks for sharing such a truthful life experience that clearly made an impression on you!
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
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Hey Rick,
Wild times, indeed! My father was a Sigma Chi and my mother a little sister there (mid-sixties) so I've heard some stories, but greatly edited for my ears.
You write in stream-of-consciousness which lends your piece a sense of rawness and unfiltered truth (unlike my parent's stories).
My suggestion is to add many paragraph breaks for easier reading. Also, you have a lot of typos. I think if you reread it out loud to yourself, you'll easily spot them. It's worth it to do for a contest entry to keep it in contention.
Thanks for sharing such a truthful life experience that clearly made an impression on you!
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 19-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
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Thanks for the review and the needed changes. I edited, created paragraphs, found the typos. Will see what happens
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Rick,
It sounds like you had a wild time at school. It was back in the day when drugs flowed freely. It's great that you kept your grades up and became a veterinarian. Sounds like a good time.
Cecila
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Rick,
It sounds like you had a wild time at school. It was back in the day when drugs flowed freely. It's great that you kept your grades up and became a veterinarian. Sounds like a good time.
Cecila
Comment Written 19-Nov-2024
