Turn Right at the Moon ~ Part 4
1,600 words. Let's meet John and Christina.5 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
I am definitely enjoying this story. How long do you plan to make it? I really like the two women, Patricia and Glenda. They are kind of like Lucy and Ethel the way they play off of each other. Really entertaining. Gretchen
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
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I am definitely enjoying this story. How long do you plan to make it? I really like the two women, Patricia and Glenda. They are kind of like Lucy and Ethel the way they play off of each other. Really entertaining. Gretchen
Comment Written 11-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
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Hi, Gretchen. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Jacob1395
I really enjoyed reading this piece. I could feel the love that John had for his daughter as well as the concern about her mother, I think it's a nice attribute that he still has some respect for his former partner, despite what has happened to her. A well written piece, I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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I really enjoyed reading this piece. I could feel the love that John had for his daughter as well as the concern about her mother, I think it's a nice attribute that he still has some respect for his former partner, despite what has happened to her. A well written piece, I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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Hi, Jacob. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Y. M. Roger
What a fun little 'diner family' you have going on here -- great flow and interactions between characters! ;) Thanx so much for sharing and look forward to Part 5 (and Gladys)! ;)
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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What a fun little 'diner family' you have going on here -- great flow and interactions between characters! ;) Thanx so much for sharing and look forward to Part 5 (and Gladys)! ;)
Comment Written 08-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Mary Lou Steed
Even though this is Part 4, I was able to identify the setting and general nature of the story. There was no problem sensing the character of John and Christina. I found myself holding my breath when Pat was about to tell John the consequence of his breaking the rules, so it passes the "good writing" test. My only concern is that I found it rather awkward when the actors so frequently named the person they were addressing, e.g., "That's Sharon's daughter, Christina."
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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Even though this is Part 4, I was able to identify the setting and general nature of the story. There was no problem sensing the character of John and Christina. I found myself holding my breath when Pat was about to tell John the consequence of his breaking the rules, so it passes the "good writing" test. My only concern is that I found it rather awkward when the actors so frequently named the person they were addressing, e.g., "That's Sharon's daughter, Christina."
Comment Written 08-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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Hi, Mary Lou. Thank you for your kind words, shiny six stars, and help with this story. It is deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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You're welcome. Good luck with your writing passion.
Comment from royowen
Fancy having a mother like that , but at least she's looking after her daughter from those lecherous males, but daddy al least wants her back, a now Christina, who is a straight A student has a job, beautifully written Mike, blessings Roy
Typo : decked (him) with a chair
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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Fancy having a mother like that , but at least she's looking after her daughter from those lecherous males, but daddy al least wants her back, a now Christina, who is a straight A student has a job, beautifully written Mike, blessings Roy
Typo : decked (him) with a chair
Comment Written 08-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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Hi, Roy, Thank you for your kind words and help with this story. It's deeply appreciated! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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Most welcome
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Most welcome