The Staircase
The right path's not always clear, but it doesn't have to be38 total reviews
Comment from Me and Erin G
Oooh, I like this. This is excellent. And the photo is perfect. But my favorite part is the last stanza:
"For 'tis not the destination
nor point of genesis,
But ev'ry careful step between
bathed in brokenness."
Wow! That's a classic piece of poetry right there! Great work!
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2025
Oooh, I like this. This is excellent. And the photo is perfect. But my favorite part is the last stanza:
"For 'tis not the destination
nor point of genesis,
But ev'ry careful step between
bathed in brokenness."
Wow! That's a classic piece of poetry right there! Great work!
Comment Written 22-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2025
-
Thanx so much for stopping in on this one, sir -- appreciate your time! ;) Yvette
[Apologize for the delay in response, been a long past week or so at work with some family visits in there... take care! :-) ;-)]
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hi Yvette!
This poem is a pleasure to read, and I think it is because of your 8-6-8-6 syllable counts. This is a beautiful choice that creates a sonic treat. When the rhythm and rhyme are on, it allows us to appreciate even more the words you have chosen.
---Yet, could it be that just beyond/our hurried mundane sight,/A vision calls from polished steps/'neath ev'ning's fading light?" --This is my favorite stanza rhythmically.
---I think it is clear that the message in the poem is about appreciating the journey and not fretting too much about the destination, that one's character is built by "ev'ry careful step between." The metaphor is the overgrown, almost forgotten stairway that, even though it is not tended and "Atop the hill, no statue hails," it has more value than may easily be attributed to it.
---I did find two possible errors in the syllable count, though. In the 5th stanza, second line "with not eyes but spirit's touch..." has seven syllables instead of six. I am sure this will be easy to fix up. In the last stanza, last line "bathed in brokenness" there are only five syllables (unless you are attributing two syllables to "bathed").
---I know you did not post a syllable-count format for this poem, therefore your counts may be intentional. If this is the case, please let me know. Every poem is correct as pertains to format if the poet says it is! I am just going by the pattern established through most of the poem.
---I am honor-bound to award this poem a 4-star due to the possible errors, but please let me know that you have fixed them, and I am happy to move that up to a 5-star.
Patrick
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
Hi Yvette!
This poem is a pleasure to read, and I think it is because of your 8-6-8-6 syllable counts. This is a beautiful choice that creates a sonic treat. When the rhythm and rhyme are on, it allows us to appreciate even more the words you have chosen.
---Yet, could it be that just beyond/our hurried mundane sight,/A vision calls from polished steps/'neath ev'ning's fading light?" --This is my favorite stanza rhythmically.
---I think it is clear that the message in the poem is about appreciating the journey and not fretting too much about the destination, that one's character is built by "ev'ry careful step between." The metaphor is the overgrown, almost forgotten stairway that, even though it is not tended and "Atop the hill, no statue hails," it has more value than may easily be attributed to it.
---I did find two possible errors in the syllable count, though. In the 5th stanza, second line "with not eyes but spirit's touch..." has seven syllables instead of six. I am sure this will be easy to fix up. In the last stanza, last line "bathed in brokenness" there are only five syllables (unless you are attributing two syllables to "bathed").
---I know you did not post a syllable-count format for this poem, therefore your counts may be intentional. If this is the case, please let me know. Every poem is correct as pertains to format if the poet says it is! I am just going by the pattern established through most of the poem.
---I am honor-bound to award this poem a 4-star due to the possible errors, but please let me know that you have fixed them, and I am happy to move that up to a 5-star.
Patrick
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
-
Noted.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Yvette,
This is a well worded poem which reminds us that sometimes a hidden or what looks like unused path is worth taking because it leads us to a place to see God and faith more clearly.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a wonderful day and Happy Holidays.
Joan
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
Hi Yvette,
This is a well worded poem which reminds us that sometimes a hidden or what looks like unused path is worth taking because it leads us to a place to see God and faith more clearly.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a wonderful day and Happy Holidays.
Joan
Comment Written 09-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
-
Thanx so much for your review on this one, Joan -- my nomination for the contest was quite a surprise!! ;) ;) Take care out there and have a Wonderful Wednesday!! ;) Yvette
-
You are most kindly welcome, Yvette.
Joan
Comment from karenina
Introspection and reflection are exceedingly apparent in this stunning verse. It truly is not the destination...it is the journey. Every line a masterpiece...
We may stumble or lose our way, but our spiritual compass heals our brokenness and we blossom bright as the daffodils!
Bravo!
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
Introspection and reflection are exceedingly apparent in this stunning verse. It truly is not the destination...it is the journey. Every line a masterpiece...
We may stumble or lose our way, but our spiritual compass heals our brokenness and we blossom bright as the daffodils!
Bravo!
Karenina
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
-
Oh, it is so good to see that little face, my lady!! Have missed you! Okay, I know I'm the one who disappeared for a few years (long story there...but for another day!), but I did/do so enjoy our online interactions!! Thanx for these lovely stars and for just being you!! ;) Take good care out there and keep on keepin' on! ;) Yvette
-
How did we skip off one another's fanlist? Well! We've solved that problem!
Happy Holidays!
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Staircase, finds the poetry within the ancient steps which are mostly reclaimed by the earth, but at one time were an avenue from low to high. What was to be seen at top or bottom is gone, but the trek is still available to imagine its further purpose. Nice.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
This poem, The Staircase, finds the poetry within the ancient steps which are mostly reclaimed by the earth, but at one time were an avenue from low to high. What was to be seen at top or bottom is gone, but the trek is still available to imagine its further purpose. Nice.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
-
Oh my goodness, Sir Bill! Thank you so much for the awesome stars on this one -- so very much a big smile at the end of the week!! :) This was my first 'heavy-thinking' composition since I made the decision to put my pen to paper again.... and can I say? Oh, it truly feels good! Thanx again for the starshine have a Fantastic Friday! :-) Yvette
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Yvette!
Whew! A bit behind on reviewing, yes?
But what a lovely and moving poetic offering to read this morning.
There are many such stairwells in my world: literally and figuratively...
Thank you for sharing!
fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
Hello, Yvette!
Whew! A bit behind on reviewing, yes?
But what a lovely and moving poetic offering to read this morning.
There are many such stairwells in my world: literally and figuratively...
Thank you for sharing!
fondly,
diane
Comment Written 06-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
-
Behind on reviewing...? Oh yeah -- definitely a definition of my life right now!! And things just keep popping up (in addition to that thing known as 'a job'!) to keep me away from the keyboard... oy! :) Thanx so much for your awesome review on this one, Lady Diane -- always so good to see your beautiful smiling face in the line up when I finally do log on!! ;) And a special thanx for those lovely stars... so very appreciated on my first 'heavy-thinking' composition since I made the decision to put my pen to paper again.... and can I say? Oh, it truly feels good! Thanx again, my friend, and take care of you up there! ;) Yvette
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and presentation, Yvette.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-You wrote a very good poem
with effective imagery and rhyme.
-The opening verses give good
detail about this stairwell.
-I like how you go from how it is unrecognized
to the question about the "vision calling" and
the daffodils add their opinion, as well.
-A very good concluding verse with
a very good message: It's not where
you're going that's important, but what
you have to go through to get there.
It isn't always an easy path.
-One small suggestion about the eyes:
exclaim....not with eyes but spirit's touch.
-Very well done.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
-Very nice image and presentation, Yvette.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-You wrote a very good poem
with effective imagery and rhyme.
-The opening verses give good
detail about this stairwell.
-I like how you go from how it is unrecognized
to the question about the "vision calling" and
the daffodils add their opinion, as well.
-A very good concluding verse with
a very good message: It's not where
you're going that's important, but what
you have to go through to get there.
It isn't always an easy path.
-One small suggestion about the eyes:
exclaim....not with eyes but spirit's touch.
-Very well done.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
-
Good afternoon, Pam! Thank you so much for the awesome stars on this one, my lady -- so very much a big smile at the end of the week!! :) My apologies for the delay... but I'm off for a couple of days and am trying to catch up! You enjoy the weekend out there and take care! ;) Yvette
-
You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Yvette. Glad they brought a smile. No problem about a delay. You take care, too.
Comment from Nicki.B
This is a beautiful poem with a lovely message for the reciever. A message to remind us that the path we take may not always be the right one and if we go off track we can find our way again. I love the presentation also with the green earthy tones that suit the poem so well. Excellent well done
Best Wishes
Nicki
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
This is a beautiful poem with a lovely message for the reciever. A message to remind us that the path we take may not always be the right one and if we go off track we can find our way again. I love the presentation also with the green earthy tones that suit the poem so well. Excellent well done
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
-
Thanx so much for stopping by on this one, Nicki -- just the blonde being a little contemplative here... glad you found some meaning in my thoughtful meanderings! ;) ;) Have a great week out there! ;) Yvette
Comment from Daniel Milton Taylor
Beautifully inspiring poem and very well written. One of the messages I received after reading your poem reminded of my path to God. I didn't believe that was a "real path", so my journey was just to travel through life and make the best of wherever it led me. As an adult, it was finally revealed that my life's path had been leading me to God. After that revelation He showed me all of things that He planted along my path. I saw all of those things, but didn't really see them or understand them until after I finally saw Him God bless, Daniel
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
Beautifully inspiring poem and very well written. One of the messages I received after reading your poem reminded of my path to God. I didn't believe that was a "real path", so my journey was just to travel through life and make the best of wherever it led me. As an adult, it was finally revealed that my life's path had been leading me to God. After that revelation He showed me all of things that He planted along my path. I saw all of those things, but didn't really see them or understand them until after I finally saw Him God bless, Daniel
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
-
Thanx so much for stopping by on this shorty, Daniel -- good to hear from you! ;) Have a great week out there! ;) Yvette
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is coincidental because I've just been reading about someone (with Parkinson's) saying that life isn't about the destination but accepting each step along the way, a belief now highlighted by the loss of coherency of his condition (I looked for the quote but couldn't find it). Your beautiful, meditative verse shares with us that experience of slowing down to appreciate what we have and not have some preconceived idea of where we're going. I think it's profound and inspiring. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
This is coincidental because I've just been reading about someone (with Parkinson's) saying that life isn't about the destination but accepting each step along the way, a belief now highlighted by the loss of coherency of his condition (I looked for the quote but couldn't find it). Your beautiful, meditative verse shares with us that experience of slowing down to appreciate what we have and not have some preconceived idea of where we're going. I think it's profound and inspiring. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 02-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
-
Wow! Thanx so much for your thoughtful and, although you might not know it, touching review... you see, my mother suffers from Parkinson's. You take care of you out there and have a great Sunday, my lady! ;) Yvette