The Last Conversation
A free verse poem10 total reviews
Comment from Sarah Probe 1
many thanks for your thriller story, would that be a script in a form of a prose then ?
It's very dark and captivating at the same time, even though i do not like violence at all ....
I hope you win the contest
Best wishes
Sarah
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many thanks for your thriller story, would that be a script in a form of a prose then ?
It's very dark and captivating at the same time, even though i do not like violence at all ....
I hope you win the contest
Best wishes
Sarah
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from pome lover
well, it's a good story and I liked it, but I'm glad you explained it. It's a neat idea and intriguing, really, trying to figure it out.
I'm not sure I get the meaning of the fish, though, unless the bottom one represents the dead twin. And speaking of twins, in your author's notes you say two twins. Twins means two, so you don't need the two.
Anyway, great entry for the contest. Good luck.
Katharine
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well, it's a good story and I liked it, but I'm glad you explained it. It's a neat idea and intriguing, really, trying to figure it out.
I'm not sure I get the meaning of the fish, though, unless the bottom one represents the dead twin. And speaking of twins, in your author's notes you say two twins. Twins means two, so you don't need the two.
Anyway, great entry for the contest. Good luck.
Katharine
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
Comment from DonandVicki
A very well constructed poem that speaks of loss. I read your authors notes and had to re-read your poem and it took me to a deeper,a darker place.
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A very well constructed poem that speaks of loss. I read your authors notes and had to re-read your poem and it took me to a deeper,a darker place.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
Comment from jake cosmos aller
a powerful and moving poem about domestic violence I like the last stanza the best
I
I reach out, but you're gone before I can grasp you.
All that's left is my hands grasping the glass,
Trying to catch another glimpse of you
In this face that we once shared.
The hours, like blood, seep into the stained carpet.
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a powerful and moving poem about domestic violence I like the last stanza the best
I
I reach out, but you're gone before I can grasp you.
All that's left is my hands grasping the glass,
Trying to catch another glimpse of you
In this face that we once shared.
The hours, like blood, seep into the stained carpet.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
Comment from Begin Again
I sense sadness before and after the poem... a relationship that wasn't quite right. One ended their life with suicide and left the other unable to move past the moment. Gut wrenching and a horrible place to be...reliving the moment with so many questions and no way to make it right.
smiles and hugs, Carol
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I sense sadness before and after the poem... a relationship that wasn't quite right. One ended their life with suicide and left the other unable to move past the moment. Gut wrenching and a horrible place to be...reliving the moment with so many questions and no way to make it right.
smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
Comment from estory
I thought this was an interesting, imaginative format, in these dialogue stanzas, a conversation between estranged lovers. We get the distance between them, but also the connections. I really thought there were some fine poignant images here; "another glimpse of you in this face that we once shared" "we're both trapped, caught in the barrel of a gun that shouldn't have fired" "our clocks both stopped just before midnight". those were great lines. Overall, its a story of a spur in the moment decision that seems to have shattered a relationship, and lives, in the bargain. estory
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I thought this was an interesting, imaginative format, in these dialogue stanzas, a conversation between estranged lovers. We get the distance between them, but also the connections. I really thought there were some fine poignant images here; "another glimpse of you in this face that we once shared" "we're both trapped, caught in the barrel of a gun that shouldn't have fired" "our clocks both stopped just before midnight". those were great lines. Overall, its a story of a spur in the moment decision that seems to have shattered a relationship, and lives, in the bargain. estory
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
Comment from Kahlani
Hi Videl, this is a heartbreaking and haunting poem I couldn't stop reading until I reached the end. I knew it was about suicide but thought it was between lovers. Thank you for a sad, but beautiful read.
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Hi Videl, this is a heartbreaking and haunting poem I couldn't stop reading until I reached the end. I knew it was about suicide but thought it was between lovers. Thank you for a sad, but beautiful read.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
Comment from bob cullen
All I can say is WOW. This is dripping with emotion. It is gripping. What can I do to discover more? Realizations come with a forced bluntness. What am I witnessing? Sensational and amazing, two words I don't often use demand their presence.
Now for my questions. Is it a confrontation between two, or between and his or her own conscience.
Your writing is powerful and intriguing. There's nothing more to say. Did I say BRILLIANT.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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All I can say is WOW. This is dripping with emotion. It is gripping. What can I do to discover more? Realizations come with a forced bluntness. What am I witnessing? Sensational and amazing, two words I don't often use demand their presence.
Now for my questions. Is it a confrontation between two, or between and his or her own conscience.
Your writing is powerful and intriguing. There's nothing more to say. Did I say BRILLIANT.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much for the review, it made me smile so much!!
As for your question, I originally wanted it to be an actual confrontation, happening in a dream or something similar! But it really could go either way ^^
If you have any more questions feel free to ask! I love talking about the deeper meanings!
- I originally wanted to show you some of my notes of the first ideas I had, but the reply wouldn't send :( -
Best,
Videl
Comment from Bill Schott
This free verse, The Last Conversation, begins benignly but quickly becomes a discovered suicide (I suspect) as both souls contemplate the scene of death and reflection.
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This free verse, The Last Conversation, begins benignly but quickly becomes a discovered suicide (I suspect) as both souls contemplate the scene of death and reflection.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Videl
This is a vivid conversation between a couple at the time of death. It could be a suicide. It seems they both are sorry for what has gone before this situation.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great rest of the day and week.
Joan
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Hi Videl
This is a vivid conversation between a couple at the time of death. It could be a suicide. It seems they both are sorry for what has gone before this situation.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great rest of the day and week.
Joan
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024