Spelunked
A cautionary caving tale.15 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A well-constructed little flash that takes your reader into the cave and then, just as we're settling into the experience, we realise that this isn't going to be a straightforward exploration after all and there is someone else with other plans! Well done and good luck! Debbie
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A well-constructed little flash that takes your reader into the cave and then, just as we're settling into the experience, we realise that this isn't going to be a straightforward exploration after all and there is someone else with other plans! Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from DonandVicki
A quick but well written flash fiction. You brought out visuals with your words. The hesitancy of entering a foreboding cave, no knowing the delights or horrors that it may contain.
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A quick but well written flash fiction. You brought out visuals with your words. The hesitancy of entering a foreboding cave, no knowing the delights or horrors that it may contain.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from Ric Myworld
"Hello dinner!" LOL. Now that's a quick and to the point welcoming, or should I say greeting. It's stories like yours that have drawn me in and turned me into a flash fiction fan. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
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"Hello dinner!" LOL. Now that's a quick and to the point welcoming, or should I say greeting. It's stories like yours that have drawn me in and turned me into a flash fiction fan. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from LJbutterfly
Welcome to FanStory, the perfect site for short stories that you can share with other writers. This horror and thriller story is clearly developed and written, providing both mystery and suspense in a short one-hundred words. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
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Welcome to FanStory, the perfect site for short stories that you can share with other writers. This horror and thriller story is clearly developed and written, providing both mystery and suspense in a short one-hundred words. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from royowen
Don't you just love it? This is an outstanding post my friend, the short ones aren't easy. they require the storm of inspiration that is needed to write a successful short fort, this, methinks is a winner, beautifully written, blessings Roy
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Don't you just love it? This is an outstanding post my friend, the short ones aren't easy. they require the storm of inspiration that is needed to write a successful short fort, this, methinks is a winner, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Wow. A skull in the cave was a men-eating monster. It was a surprise ending that was supposed to be in the end of a well-written flash fiction. You can even write a longer one to enter the "We found the cave" competition.
Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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Wow. A skull in the cave was a men-eating monster. It was a surprise ending that was supposed to be in the end of a well-written flash fiction. You can even write a longer one to enter the "We found the cave" competition.
Well done.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the review.I was curious about the skull being the monster as I had written sets of hands grabbing the victim. I am working on the "We found the cave" entry as we speak. Thanks again!
Comment from Gayla putnam
"Hello Dinner," what a perfect and ghastly line. In one hundred words, you captured my attention and made me wonder what horrid creatures were pulling poor Michael into the darkness. I have no suggestions to make it better. I definitely will avoid caves. Gayla
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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"Hello Dinner," what a perfect and ghastly line. In one hundred words, you captured my attention and made me wonder what horrid creatures were pulling poor Michael into the darkness. I have no suggestions to make it better. I definitely will avoid caves. Gayla
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the kind words! I was trying to convey that it was a cannibal clan that pounced on the victim. I'm happy you enjoyed the story.
Comment from Begin Again
Oh dear! I guess that was one cave he should have decided wasn't worth exploring. Now a soup pot or maybe just served raw will complete their dinner. Ugh!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Oh dear! I guess that was one cave he should have decided wasn't worth exploring. Now a soup pot or maybe just served raw will complete their dinner. Ugh!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Thank you!
Comment from Nicki.B
Oh jeepers! That story gave me the heebie jeebies, the thought of caves and small spaces is enough to make me feel claustrophobic, then 'Hello dinner' aaagh terrifying!
Great 100 word story good luck with the contest.
Best Wishes
Nicki
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Oh jeepers! That story gave me the heebie jeebies, the thought of caves and small spaces is enough to make me feel claustrophobic, then 'Hello dinner' aaagh terrifying!
Great 100 word story good luck with the contest.
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Thank you!
Comment from Jewell Hermann
Ok story
With the 100 word limit it would be hard to head this advice, but I,ll give it anyway.
1.Maybe some background to the main character would be nice, make the ending more significant.
2.Atmospheric details, are sparse/ non-existent.
3.Some more details about the monster, such as interesting sounds that it makes or how it said (hello diner!) beside excitement.
Is the monster just a human?
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Ok story
With the 100 word limit it would be hard to head this advice, but I,ll give it anyway.
1.Maybe some background to the main character would be nice, make the ending more significant.
2.Atmospheric details, are sparse/ non-existent.
3.Some more details about the monster, such as interesting sounds that it makes or how it said (hello diner!) beside excitement.
Is the monster just a human?
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Thank you but you're right that it's hard to flesh out a flash story with a 100 word limit and the cave is home to a cannibal clan. Think Sawny Beane