Reviews from

War, and Yet More Wars

This is war, between the Squares and the Circulars.

5 total reviews 
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very enjoyable One thing I noticed was the language you use to describe action--like slidingand gulping - gives the story a gritty feel that I really like. The dialogue is well written. The exchanges about gods and belief are very interesting.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2024


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
    Thank you ever so much, Michael, much appreciated.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
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Hi Lloyd,
This is a most unique post. As can be expected, I had a lot of trouble following the narrative, but I don't think that really matters. It's an experience of blended cultures, something we can all use. To be honest, I though it read like a poem. I don't always follow poems well, either. Lots of figurative language. Stories within stories. All in all, a great experience, and isn't that what we are here for?

Take care,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2024


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
    Thanks, Rhonda, It's the writing style that does it, and it's deliberate. You will notice that I stated it in my profile, (if you read it. So the real story may be found in the writing style. Thanks for making my day.
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 17-Oct-2024
    I really enjoyed reading something that challenged my mind.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
    That's it, much love.
Comment from lancellot
Good
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I read the notes and I kind of get that this is written a 'chosen' person style, but... as an author who is presenting his 'thoughts and story' presumably to be understood, this falls short. Going your own way is fine, but does that work if you want to share with others? To do that effectively a shared language and grammatical usage is needed. Yes?

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2024


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
    I agree, but that's why I go to great lengths to point out the slant in my writing style, and in some cases, duplicate the thought or phrase in a common language form. But I totally get it, thanks.
Comment from phoegon
Excellent
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This story has a great sense of grounding in real life. The narrative voice you have in this post reads like I'm hearing a story from a parent or grandparent.

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2024


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2024
    You've summarized it well, phoegan, and I love it. Thank you.
Comment from jim vecchio
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I wondered, till I read your notes. I just replied to another writer and advised her to use English translation. Yours would not benefit from that; it is your unique style and preservation. Maybe you get it, maybe you get some of it. But it is unique and I would not advise you to change your words.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2024


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
    Thanks a lot, Jim. I've gotten quite a few of those along the way but I'm not deterred from doing it "My Way."