Body of a Horse, Heart of a Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "A Strange Meeting"A modern twist on Greek Mythology.
17 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
A very well constructed chapter with the slow build to the shocking reveal.
I don't think many would have remained vertical, fainting would be the likely result of seeing a Centaur before your eyes.
The dialogue, while long, is well done, consistent with Diantha's character.
Atrius should prove to be a fascinating character, a link between two worlds, and a strong protector of Diantha, just as Theo was for Echo was in the previous story.
Prequels have a difficult aspect since they must lead the correct outcome
which is already known to the reader.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2024
  |
Hello Rhonda,
A very well constructed chapter with the slow build to the shocking reveal.
I don't think many would have remained vertical, fainting would be the likely result of seeing a Centaur before your eyes.
The dialogue, while long, is well done, consistent with Diantha's character.
Atrius should prove to be a fascinating character, a link between two worlds, and a strong protector of Diantha, just as Theo was for Echo was in the previous story.
Prequels have a difficult aspect since they must lead the correct outcome
which is already known to the reader.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 12-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2024
-
Thank you for the six stars, Robert and for the comments. I am finding it difficult to do the prequel, especially this soon after the last one. I'm trying to build the story where it is believable and not predictable.
Thank you again,
Rhonda
Comment from AliMom
Hi, I've missed a chapter or two but I feel that your story is developing well. I like the growth in Diantha. Like in real life growth can be very painful to experience nevertheless it is sometimes necessary and you're teaching that to your young readers. It is also great to know that she has friends and protectors who step in when needed but ultimately the decisions about her life are hers to make. I also like your introduction of Atrius and her quick lesson from him about dealing with prejudices. Keep going. This is a great fantasy tale for young readers.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024
 |
Hi, I've missed a chapter or two but I feel that your story is developing well. I like the growth in Diantha. Like in real life growth can be very painful to experience nevertheless it is sometimes necessary and you're teaching that to your young readers. It is also great to know that she has friends and protectors who step in when needed but ultimately the decisions about her life are hers to make. I also like your introduction of Atrius and her quick lesson from him about dealing with prejudices. Keep going. This is a great fantasy tale for young readers.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024
-
Wow, Ali, you totally nailed the young adult/teenager aspect of this book. All the things you said, was exactly where I was going with the narrative. I can tell you deal with teens, too.
Thanks so much for coming back to see the progress.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda. You did a wonderful job with this story and the vivid images your words created. I love the story to and can't wait to see what's happening with Diantha.
Rhonda, I do hope your husband is better now.
Hugs, Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024
|
Hi Rhonda. You did a wonderful job with this story and the vivid images your words created. I love the story to and can't wait to see what's happening with Diantha.
Rhonda, I do hope your husband is better now.
Hugs, Ulla xcx
Comment Written 08-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024
-
Hi Ulla,
Thanks so much for the brilliant six stars, my friend!!
Thank you for your comments, too.
My husband is moderately better, but still waiting on results on some tests.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was extremely well told, Rhonda. I am really enjoying these stories. I feel so sorry for Atrius, I hope he becomes all man again in the near future. And, I hope White Lightning is brought to the vet/horse doctor quickly. We don't want her to come to any harm. Well done, my friend. Warmest hugs, Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024
|
That was extremely well told, Rhonda. I am really enjoying these stories. I feel so sorry for Atrius, I hope he becomes all man again in the near future. And, I hope White Lightning is brought to the vet/horse doctor quickly. We don't want her to come to any harm. Well done, my friend. Warmest hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment Written 08-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024
-
Hi Sandra,
Thank you so much for the six stars and for your comments. It's good to see you!!
White Lightning will be fine, can't speak for the rest of them, lol.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
Of course, a centaur makes sense, Altrius, what a great name, and I love Diantha too, my spellchecker doesn't like either name, which means they are certainly unusual, a long conversation, but it was necessary, but what of white lightning? Beautifully written Rhonda, an excellent post, blessings Roy
Typo : Provide (with) her. For?
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024
|
Of course, a centaur makes sense, Altrius, what a great name, and I love Diantha too, my spellchecker doesn't like either name, which means they are certainly unusual, a long conversation, but it was necessary, but what of white lightning? Beautifully written Rhonda, an excellent post, blessings Roy
Typo : Provide (with) her. For?
Comment Written 07-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024
-
Hi Roy,
Good to hear from you. Thank you so much for the review and comments. Also, for finding the mistakes. Those are quite helpful!!
Take care,
Rhonda
-
Well done
Comment from Pam (respa)
You did a great job with the images and story, Rhonda. The centaur turned out well, too. There is good camaraderie between Diantha and the stranger who is speaking to her once she has had a chance to clear her brain and listen to what he is saying. He is very patient and sincere. He also not only cares about her well being but also her horse.
I think it's good she took her time revealing things about herself, but there came a time when they had to get out of this place because the results would not be good if they stayed. I like how he had a soft blanket on his back so she would be comfortable. You did a great job and the story and dialogue flowed smoothly from scene to scene.
Only one small typo to note:
Dianthus replied in surprise.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
|
You did a great job with the images and story, Rhonda. The centaur turned out well, too. There is good camaraderie between Diantha and the stranger who is speaking to her once she has had a chance to clear her brain and listen to what he is saying. He is very patient and sincere. He also not only cares about her well being but also her horse.
I think it's good she took her time revealing things about herself, but there came a time when they had to get out of this place because the results would not be good if they stayed. I like how he had a soft blanket on his back so she would be comfortable. You did a great job and the story and dialogue flowed smoothly from scene to scene.
Only one small typo to note:
Dianthus replied in surprise.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
-
Hi Pam,
Thank you so much for the six stars and for the discussion of the story. It is so helpful to get feedback.
I'm glad the timing worked out on her revelations and caution, balanced by the need to get to safety.
I'm glad the dialogue worked, too. I found and corrected the mistake. Thank you for that!!
Take care,
Rhonda
-
You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. It was a very good chapter. I have a few suggestions for the previous one, but I didn't want to bother you with your husband not feeling well. Is he any better?
-
Hi,
Go ahead and send them, thanks. Wayne is doing better, but still pretty sick. They found he is very low on red blood cells and are looking for the source. They will probably give him a blood transfusion. They said that was the reason for his cough. His body just isn't getting enough oxygen and that's his body's response. Thanks for asking.
-
I will do that tomorrow. Thanks for sharing Rhonda. Hope it all goes well.
-
Okay, thanks so much!
Comment from Kahlani
I love how you brought Greek mythology into the modern day. This story has all the markings of a great story - likable characters (I'm partial to Atrius), humor, drama, and sexual tension. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
|
I love how you brought Greek mythology into the modern day. This story has all the markings of a great story - likable characters (I'm partial to Atrius), humor, drama, and sexual tension. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
-
Hi Kahlani,
Nice to meet you, and great to have you review my chapter. I appreciate your insight!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from lyenochka
Hooray! They finally met! I am guessing this is a prequel to your previous book and how Anthos's/Theo's parents met? I guess this was after Phoebus had been married to his first wife, another centaur? He talks like a psychologist and adequately prepared Diantha for his centaur body. I guess we'll see how this union brings Phoebus back to his normal body again. I see now how Anthos (flower) is related to Diantha now. I planted some carnation seeds recently but they turned out to be dianthus seeds instead. Hope they bloom in the cold, too!
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
|
Hooray! They finally met! I am guessing this is a prequel to your previous book and how Anthos's/Theo's parents met? I guess this was after Phoebus had been married to his first wife, another centaur? He talks like a psychologist and adequately prepared Diantha for his centaur body. I guess we'll see how this union brings Phoebus back to his normal body again. I see now how Anthos (flower) is related to Diantha now. I planted some carnation seeds recently but they turned out to be dianthus seeds instead. Hope they bloom in the cold, too!
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
-
Yes, Helen, this is a prequel. I actually started writing it a few years back and am finishing it now.
You'll find out more about Atrius as the story progresses, but he is a doctor as well as other things.
Yes, their names are linked together. Funny about the dianthus seeds coming up. There are several varieties. Some are hardier than others. Good luck with them!!
Hugs
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
I thought for a minute I was wrong. I thought that I had the wrong man since the name was different. Whew, that is a relief and he is just as handsome especially in the first picture. I love how they will get close now. They both are too good for the others. This was an awesome chapter and I love how he was so sweet and that she told home the truth.
So in the notes it says that he had amnesia from childhood. Did Phoebus have it as well. And is it automatic that their names change?
This is so exciting to think of the two of them out there together, not exactly the best set up for romance, but they'll get by. LOL
Thanks and I am already wondering what you have in store next week.
Love, Debi
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
|
I thought for a minute I was wrong. I thought that I had the wrong man since the name was different. Whew, that is a relief and he is just as handsome especially in the first picture. I love how they will get close now. They both are too good for the others. This was an awesome chapter and I love how he was so sweet and that she told home the truth.
So in the notes it says that he had amnesia from childhood. Did Phoebus have it as well. And is it automatic that their names change?
This is so exciting to think of the two of them out there together, not exactly the best set up for romance, but they'll get by. LOL
Thanks and I am already wondering what you have in store next week.
Love, Debi
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
-
Hi Debi,
Thank you for the beautiful six stars!!!
When Phoebus was banished by Zeus, his memory was wiped clean. He will tell his story later, but he was raised by a man who found him there in the valley. He was Greek and gave him the Greek name, Atrius. He hasn't had his memory restored yet. It will come, though. Thanks for asking.
Love you much,
Rhonda
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
The picture at the beginning is very good as that is all she saw until the end. Diantha seems to be getting more courageous as she makes a decision not to be afraid of the man. His good looks might have something to do with that. But she accepts the rest of Antrius without panicking. You have two changes to make: there is no reason the capitalize "adrenaline" and . . . an(s)wering a question . . . This is a very enjoyable story.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
|
The picture at the beginning is very good as that is all she saw until the end. Diantha seems to be getting more courageous as she makes a decision not to be afraid of the man. His good looks might have something to do with that. But she accepts the rest of Antrius without panicking. You have two changes to make: there is no reason the capitalize "adrenaline" and . . . an(s)wering a question . . . This is a very enjoyable story.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
-
Hi Carol,
Thank you so very much for the review. It was most helpful. I'm glad you noticed how Diantha is beginning to make some of her own decisions, even if it's deciding to listen and trust.
I was iffy on capitalizing adrenaline. As I teach science, we capitalize it there, lol. Thanks for the clarification.
Take care,
Rhonda