Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

This poem reminds me of the Irish klaudah (Not sure if this is spelled right) Two hands holding one heart. A very touching poem that brings out a lot of visuals about love.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2024

Thank you so much for your review. I will look into that. It sounds very interesting. Much appreciated

Comment from Sarah Probe S.

Excellent

thanks for a very romantic poem about true love, it's powerful and spiritual at the same time it has left me captivated until the last verse,
Best wishes,
Sarah

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2024

Thank you for this very kind review. This was a piece that I really enjoyed working on and it means a lot to me. Likewise, so do your kind words. Thank you

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This is a loving and endearing write about love and the connection you made with another. I enjoyed the emotion and the honest in this post Todd and I welcome you to the Fanstory community, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024

Thank you so much for the kind review, Dolly. This community has been very positive and encouraging thus far. Joining here was one of my wiser decisions, for sure.

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

Congrats on your first post! Welcome! What a deeply heartfelt poem! I love your word choices. Especially your lines about kissing "the places that others had stole". The writing is wonderful. You do a wonderful job of sharing a sense of healing. The final promise brings the entire poem together beautifully. Great job!

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024

Thank you do much for this. This is a piece that I spent a lot of time on and it means a lot to me. This positive feedback is very encouraging. Thank you so much for confirming that I made the right choice by joining Fanstory.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Congrats on your first milestone and welcome on board!
This is a sweet, romantic verse with a recurring link of "heart's red string" enhancing with delightful imagery here. I can tell you enjoy words and their rhythm and, actually, as the verse continues, the shorter lines in stanzas 3 and 4 improve the flow considerably. I would simply say be careful about syntax (the meaning of what you're writing) and don't allow the rhyme to dictate. You'd be better expressing your emotions freely and restricting the rhyme pattern. But I enjoyed the originality of your heartfelt verse. Well done Debbie
some(o)ne to connect with..
this em(p)ty heart sing
We kiss all the places that others had I somehow knew (this doesn't make sense) (We kiss in all the places where others I once knew?)

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2024

Thank you for my first review. I really appreciate your input. You're right, I did tend to allow the rhyme to pull the piece along instead of letting the message lead the way. It is something I'm playing around with. The last few editing notes you made referred to some weird thing that happens with my laptop that I should be more mindful of when posting. My heart definitely ran far ahead of my mind with this first post. I did go back and edit those lines.