Comment from
Rachelle Allen
Hmmm. I think you didn't get to finish writing this. Or else, by accident, you deleted the last part of the last line. Either way, you missed the glaring error of that and must not have re-read once you posted.
On that second line, I'm not sure what "within my favorite add vice" means.
Advice - to give one's opinion - wouldn't have two d's or a space; but add vice makes no sense at all: more bad habits?
I'm really sorry to score this so low; ordinarily, I don't do that. But this one seems too riddled with errors (the next-to-last line begins with lower case, whereas the beginnings of all the other lines don't) and perplexing phrases (in addition to the "add vice" one, I also don't understand "mystery how they both taste." You're also eating the record collection?) Plus, there's the fact that your last line is incomplete.
This needs lots of work, Keimosobie.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
Comment from
papa55mike
There's something magical loud music, a kitchen full of family, and food cooking on the stove. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024