Valse de poèmes
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Rose of Love"inspiring poems for the souls and hearts
5 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I've done one of these minute verses myself and they're fun to do. Your imagery of a dying rose perfectly fits the theme of a lost love. Since it needs to be in 3 stanzas, you need to clearly separate the 2nd from the 3rd. Also re-read the rhyming pattern which needs to be aabb ccdd eeff and the meter in iambic meter to provide fluency. I note that the deadline is a long way off so you've got plenty of time to look at the examples given and I'm more than willing to revise the rating. Good luck! Debbie
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I've done one of these minute verses myself and they're fun to do. Your imagery of a dying rose perfectly fits the theme of a lost love. Since it needs to be in 3 stanzas, you need to clearly separate the 2nd from the 3rd. Also re-read the rhyming pattern which needs to be aabb ccdd eeff and the meter in iambic meter to provide fluency. I note that the deadline is a long way off so you've got plenty of time to look at the examples given and I'm more than willing to revise the rating. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I loved the sentiment here Sarah, a love compared to a dying rose drawing all the love and sucking love from us. I love minute poems and I think yours would read much better with iambic metre. This is the stress on the second syllable. Metre in poems is worth paying attention to and learning as it gives our poems more rhythm. Also you need to adhere to the correct end rhyming scheme.
I have given an example of this in your first stanza and you can apply the same metre to the rest of your poem to give you the best chance of a win in the contest.
She drew attention, she was meek,
addiction weak
possessing deep,
this rose to keep.
This is just a suggestion Sarah, with your talent you can make this work in any way you want, as long as you use the correct thyme scheme for the minute poem and perhaps try to write in metre?
Love Dolly x x x
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I loved the sentiment here Sarah, a love compared to a dying rose drawing all the love and sucking love from us. I love minute poems and I think yours would read much better with iambic metre. This is the stress on the second syllable. Metre in poems is worth paying attention to and learning as it gives our poems more rhythm. Also you need to adhere to the correct end rhyming scheme.
I have given an example of this in your first stanza and you can apply the same metre to the rest of your poem to give you the best chance of a win in the contest.
She drew attention, she was meek,
addiction weak
possessing deep,
this rose to keep.
This is just a suggestion Sarah, with your talent you can make this work in any way you want, as long as you use the correct thyme scheme for the minute poem and perhaps try to write in metre?
Love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
Comment from jim vecchio
A great minute Poem. You are correct; It would be great as a song. When lust is mistaken for love, people suffer. When True love discovers True Love, many wonderful things happen.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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A great minute Poem. You are correct; It would be great as a song. When lust is mistaken for love, people suffer. When True love discovers True Love, many wonderful things happen.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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I wish my love will never be mistaken for lust, thanks for appreciating my poems,
Take care :)
Sarah
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Hollywood paints lust as love. True love comes to us from the Almighty.
Comment from papa55mike
Love is a gift to be nurtured and cherished unless it passes away without knowing. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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Love is a gift to be nurtured and cherished unless it passes away without knowing. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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thank you so much, God bless you too :)
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought your poem captured a deep emotional journey. I love how you skillfully show the intensity of love. The imagery of the rose and its petals falling away is perfect. Beautiful work!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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I thought your poem captured a deep emotional journey. I love how you skillfully show the intensity of love. The imagery of the rose and its petals falling away is perfect. Beautiful work!
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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thank you very much for your feedback and appreciation of my poem, this has no price,
Take care,
Sarah