Sandra's Lover
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Exploring more"A macabre crime thriller. Grotesque and detailed.
2 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Great job. I loved how you captured the tension between Mark and Aliss.
The basement discovery of the shoebox really added suspense. I could feel her mix of emotions as she got deeper into the mystery! The descriptions of her feelings were excellent. I can't wait to see where this goes next - great job!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Great job. I loved how you captured the tension between Mark and Aliss.
The basement discovery of the shoebox really added suspense. I could feel her mix of emotions as she got deeper into the mystery! The descriptions of her feelings were excellent. I can't wait to see where this goes next - great job!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Thank you for your review!
Comment from Maria Millsaps
I found this writing to be compelling. Below are a few suggestions.
"I know it's a longer trip than normal, but if you stick to the schedule, everything should be just fine." Said Mark while he flipped through (the)is schedule(d) on his iPhone.
To this Mark let out a loud laugh and dropped his phone.
(Recommendation)
(Mark let out a loud laugh and dropped his phone.)
Soon enough (and) delete... Aliss was on the highway headed back home.
should read:
Soon enough Aliss was on the highway headed back home.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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I found this writing to be compelling. Below are a few suggestions.
"I know it's a longer trip than normal, but if you stick to the schedule, everything should be just fine." Said Mark while he flipped through (the)is schedule(d) on his iPhone.
To this Mark let out a loud laugh and dropped his phone.
(Recommendation)
(Mark let out a loud laugh and dropped his phone.)
Soon enough (and) delete... Aliss was on the highway headed back home.
should read:
Soon enough Aliss was on the highway headed back home.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Thank you for the suggestions. I appreciate the feedback!