Autumn Joys
A beautiful season44 total reviews
Comment from Regina Elliott
Splendid autumnal poem,
Barbara. You penned it well.
Autumn is my favorite season
with all its color, along with
brisk air, chilled cider, candy
apples, etc. Blessings ~
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Splendid autumnal poem,
Barbara. You penned it well.
Autumn is my favorite season
with all its color, along with
brisk air, chilled cider, candy
apples, etc. Blessings ~
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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I love Autumn. Thank you for going back and reading this with no money attached.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Barbara,
You did a good job on your first poem. It is a well done haiku.
These are the exact reasons why I like Autumn so much. The brisk temperatures lets you keep warm without having to put on a lot of layers and the leaves are so pretty.
You can learn all the forms by joint the Pen to Paper Potlatch Club where you learn a different form each week.
Joan
P S I have just published a book called The Interloper and other stories in prose and poetry. It is available on Amazon.com.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024
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Hi Barbara,
You did a good job on your first poem. It is a well done haiku.
These are the exact reasons why I like Autumn so much. The brisk temperatures lets you keep warm without having to put on a lot of layers and the leaves are so pretty.
You can learn all the forms by joint the Pen to Paper Potlatch Club where you learn a different form each week.
Joan
P S I have just published a book called The Interloper and other stories in prose and poetry. It is available on Amazon.com.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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No problem, Barbara. That's why we're here.
Joan
Comment from Aussie
Now you know why I encouraged you to write a poem. You should be proud of All Time Best and now, no more negativity; loved your presentation and your Haiku. Why not try a Loop Poem; the last word of line one is the first word of line two. Love, Kay.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
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Now you know why I encouraged you to write a poem. You should be proud of All Time Best and now, no more negativity; loved your presentation and your Haiku. Why not try a Loop Poem; the last word of line one is the first word of line two. Love, Kay.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
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LOL Maybe, but I need time to recover from this one. My brain is fried. LOL I'll see what I can do. Does a loop poem need a certain syllable count besides the looping part???
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No syllable count. ABCB rhyme only for contests:
The sun rose over the trees
Trees smoking from raging fire
Fire took all the trees ETC.
Comment from Nicki.B
I love autumn too and I really enjoyed your autumn vibes poem. The beautiful breezes and all the reds, burnt oranges, golds etc. The wooly sweaters get thrown on for strolls.
Well done you succeeded to write a beautiful haiku very well!!!
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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I love autumn too and I really enjoyed your autumn vibes poem. The beautiful breezes and all the reds, burnt oranges, golds etc. The wooly sweaters get thrown on for strolls.
Well done you succeeded to write a beautiful haiku very well!!!
Comment Written 21-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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Thank you for the support and encouragement.
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You're very welcome
Comment from tempeste
Ciao!
I saw your beautiful artwork and opened the page.
Autumn is my all time favourite season.
I love those stunning rich, warm hues and I also love the chilled Fall breeze.
And then of course it is harvest time , so many delicious tastes.
PS: I think your poem would stand out more in white font.. now it blends far too much with the blue back ground.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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Ciao!
I saw your beautiful artwork and opened the page.
Autumn is my all time favourite season.
I love those stunning rich, warm hues and I also love the chilled Fall breeze.
And then of course it is harvest time , so many delicious tastes.
PS: I think your poem would stand out more in white font.. now it blends far too much with the blue back ground.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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Thank you for sharing kind review with us. I will switch the font and see what happens.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Lovely picture and a very lovely poem. After the heat of this summer, those snuggly days sure look good. Autumn is such a beautiful time of the year, even better than the flowers this summer.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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Lovely picture and a very lovely poem. After the heat of this summer, those snuggly days sure look good. Autumn is such a beautiful time of the year, even better than the flowers this summer.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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I appreciate your review of my attempt at poetry.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Oh Barbara, I cannot tell you if this fits as a Haiku, but doesn't poetry need to inspire. After a particularly bad day, and my love of the Fall colors these words give me inspiration and relaxation.
Good job.
Mary
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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Oh Barbara, I cannot tell you if this fits as a Haiku, but doesn't poetry need to inspire. After a particularly bad day, and my love of the Fall colors these words give me inspiration and relaxation.
Good job.
Mary
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Dawn Munro
I agree with your friend, Aussie, my dear Barbara -- with your talent, you MUST branch out! :)
And here, from my notes and several talented poets (if it helps any, although you've done a fine job), is what I learned about Haiku:
HAIKU EXPLAINED
Two points to mention-- a title is always shown like this: the satori or the first line (not a different word - "provocative"), and alliteration is not encouraged. e.g. Your title is: haiku (luscious persimmons)
The other thing is capital letters aren't used, except for proper nouns. Here's the explanation of haiku I keep on file (and one example of mine):
17 or less syllables - The main thing is to keep it as close as possible to short line, longer line, short line - does not have to be 5-7-5
should be immediate, as if watching as the observer - present tense only
kigo - this is a seasonal reference - does not have to be named (e.g. summer, winter etc.) just implied (e.g. lambs would imply spring)
kire - this is the cutting line, or pivot - it should join two concrete images grammatically
satori - this is the "aha!" moment -- the satori can be at the beginning OR end of the poem. In the example I give below, the satori starts the poem:
haiku (nature' industry)
by Dawn
nature's industry
arachnids busy weaving
my mosquito net
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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I agree with your friend, Aussie, my dear Barbara -- with your talent, you MUST branch out! :)
And here, from my notes and several talented poets (if it helps any, although you've done a fine job), is what I learned about Haiku:
HAIKU EXPLAINED
Two points to mention-- a title is always shown like this: the satori or the first line (not a different word - "provocative"), and alliteration is not encouraged. e.g. Your title is: haiku (luscious persimmons)
The other thing is capital letters aren't used, except for proper nouns. Here's the explanation of haiku I keep on file (and one example of mine):
17 or less syllables - The main thing is to keep it as close as possible to short line, longer line, short line - does not have to be 5-7-5
should be immediate, as if watching as the observer - present tense only
kigo - this is a seasonal reference - does not have to be named (e.g. summer, winter etc.) just implied (e.g. lambs would imply spring)
kire - this is the cutting line, or pivot - it should join two concrete images grammatically
satori - this is the "aha!" moment -- the satori can be at the beginning OR end of the poem. In the example I give below, the satori starts the poem:
haiku (nature' industry)
by Dawn
nature's industry
arachnids busy weaving
my mosquito net
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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Holy Moses! I'll never remember all of that. Maybe I'll stick with prose. I understand those rules. LOL I appreciate the help. Really, I do. HUGS!!
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Hahaha -- you will so! It's easy, really. It just looks like a lot.
Comment from Brenda Strauser
What a nice poem. The picture is beautiful with all the fall co.irs. I like the words in the 2nd phrase: stunning rich hues adorn trees. Great job
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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What a nice poem. The picture is beautiful with all the fall co.irs. I like the words in the 2nd phrase: stunning rich hues adorn trees. Great job
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara. You are doing great with this first attempt to write poetry. I'm not a poet either, but I do know a little bit about haiku. I've written quite a few.
Yes, they are about nature and the syllabus is 17 or less. Emphasis on less. It's also always written in lower case. Two lines has to be grammatically connected and the satori line is the aha moment. Oh so this is what's it all about.
They are not easy to write at all.
So yours could read like this:
autumn breezes blow
trees rich in stunning hues
snuggly weather temps
Yes, it's now a 5-6-5 haiku, but that is okay. It's 17 or less syllables.
What a great attempt. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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Hi Barbara. You are doing great with this first attempt to write poetry. I'm not a poet either, but I do know a little bit about haiku. I've written quite a few.
Yes, they are about nature and the syllabus is 17 or less. Emphasis on less. It's also always written in lower case. Two lines has to be grammatically connected and the satori line is the aha moment. Oh so this is what's it all about.
They are not easy to write at all.
So yours could read like this:
autumn breezes blow
trees rich in stunning hues
snuggly weather temps
Yes, it's now a 5-6-5 haiku, but that is okay. It's 17 or less syllables.
What a great attempt. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024
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I'd better get rid of the capital letter. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
