Reviews from

haiku (ominous dark clouds)

Haiku Poem

5 total reviews 
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
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This was a great pictureless haiku. You got the syllable count right, and your formatting helped illustrate your poem. I liked the thought of it being "a child's new playground." Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you very much
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you very much
Comment from papa55mike
Excellent
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The simple things always bring the biggest smiles, and jumping in muddy puddles is one. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you very much
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you very much
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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That ominous dark cloud must have brought lots of rain and sounds like it made a pond. Definitely painted a picture within a few syllables. Thanks for sharing.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you very much
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you very much
Comment from Sue Smith
Good
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Having the black background and blue writing works very well to create the right atmosphere when it's a no picture contest. It sets the tone from the start. I also liked the idea behind the haiku. It's so easy to see a rainy day as dreary or a nuisance and this shows it in a different light. But I did hesitate over the word 'pon. I stopped to think that 'oh yes, you mean upon' and also to wonder why you used it. Couldn't you just say on? Sorry if there's an underlying reason for using it that I haven't picked up on, but it did make me falter over an otherwise very successful haiku

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you very much, just my choice of words I guess
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you very much, just my choice of words I guess
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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When I was a young boy I loved the rain, I would Create a cubby lean to with the rain beating against the canvass, this is a beautifully written haiku, well done, good luk, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you very much