Family Killed
The Jellie family is killed3 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a short short story. It has the elements of dialogue in it that lets the reader know the two main characters, Jellie and Carl, care about each other. I kind of think I would add a word before your final word and say:
It is their living nightmare.
That way the reader knows they are not just having the same dream. Unless you happened to want it that way.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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This is a short short story. It has the elements of dialogue in it that lets the reader know the two main characters, Jellie and Carl, care about each other. I kind of think I would add a word before your final word and say:
It is their living nightmare.
That way the reader knows they are not just having the same dream. Unless you happened to want it that way.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Thank you!
Comment from jim vecchio
This was a strange story. Both characters should be a bit more fleshed out. Show their feelings and passions by their actions, not just saying it. Keep on writing.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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This was a strange story. Both characters should be a bit more fleshed out. Show their feelings and passions by their actions, not just saying it. Keep on writing.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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Thank you, I will!
Comment from patcelaw
You did a very nice job with writing this and you've used very good punctuation and your sentence structure is very well done. I wish you the very best with all of your writing and may you have a wonderful day and may God bless.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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You did a very nice job with writing this and you've used very good punctuation and your sentence structure is very well done. I wish you the very best with all of your writing and may you have a wonderful day and may God bless.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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Thank you!
