Reviews from

Truckin

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Truckin, ch 2"
The left lane is for passing only

9 total reviews 
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
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I would be along for the ride even if it were just a simple revenge story. Nothing wrong with some good old-fashioned revenge to set things right.

I enjoyed this, Wayne, especially the fact that he made a few mistakes his first time out. Very realistic. He will undoubtedly get better at it, but I think he got jittery because the stakes of it dawned on him. It's becoming real, not just a fantasy, and there is a potential for danger and unintended disaster with such a plan. I didn't mind the length either.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you very much. In that past I've tried to keep posts 1000-1500 words, but this one is too hard to trim.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Excellent
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The sentence that begins, "Without her at his side . . ." I would consider "Clyde felt nothing" or "Clyde cared for nothing". The phrase feels unfinished to me.

Clyde drives his flag instead of waving it; I tell people I vote and help my neighbors instead of waving it.

Awkward questions when purchasing guns or ammo? Is there such a thing anymore? Guns seem to be a free-for-all in this country.

"Vamoose" - now there's a word I haven't seen or heard in ages:-)

Most men play golf and travel when they retire, lol! Clyde is becoming quite the rebel of the road. And I understand the shakes at the end - he's doing something wrong and illegal. I'm guessing he'll become more comfortable with it.

So his actions would not cause an accident because he has so many other wheels to continue? Like a plane with four engines losing one?

You decided to continue the story? I'm glad because it did seem unfinished.

See you soon.

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you so very much for the feedback and helps.
    Yes, I thought the 14K word story was finished, but it is now 20K.
    Yes, I'll buy that his shaking resulted from conviction of guilty behavior, but also from a sudden drop of adrenaline.
    Clyde's actions 'could' cause accidents. That's why he waits to isolate his targets. He'll change tactics soon.
    Maybe it's just me, but 15 American flags in a yard beside 2 foreign cars?????
    So far this year we've made 5-6 trips. We go to the Gulf next week. It seems that none of the St. Augustine opportunities have worked out.
    Thanks again for your great review.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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I am wondering if this story has been prompted by your travels around for house and pet sitting. Don't let Clyde do anything too foolish while he is crazed with grief! Excellent writing, Wayne.
Wendy

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    Thank you. We traveled a lot before house/pet sitting, but yes, the highways have become increasingly worse.
    I'm happy that you have concern for Clyde. I hate it when authors have a character that I have accepted behave poorly.
reply by Wendy G on 18-Sep-2024
    It means that the reader is fully engaged. Lol. (But perhaps they are trying to show that even heroes have faults.)
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Thank you for reassuring us that this isn't just a revenge story. I am getting worried about how much you know about such details and wonder how much is based on real life experiences!

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
    smiley face here
    I will not deny a degree of road rage at truckers. Debbie and I regularly avenge ourselves by assigning particularly egregious ones to "truckers' prison".
    Thank you for your review (and for your concern).
Comment from jim vecchio
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm looking forward to seeing how this resolves. Be careful the FBI don't see this after the latest assassination attempt on DT. I wish I could take revenge on the guy who invented the Covid. Will we see any or the effects on the lives of the victims? I remember being in a strange town when a shooter was loose in the area and getting out to a dark gas station and the sense of fear I experienced.

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
    Thank you so much for the six stars.
    This tale will have a different twist. I hope it satisfies.
reply by jim vecchio on 17-Sep-2024
    If you wrote it, I'm sure it will satisfy.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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Over time we like to think we get an idea of how a writer's mind works and where their stories are going. But honestly, I have to admit, you've kept me stumped with this one, so far. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
    Thank you. But.... is that a kind way of saying that this one doesn't seem to be going anywhere?
    smiley face here
reply by Ric Myworld on 17-Sep-2024
    Not at all. I've been reading you long enough now to know that you are building toward something far greater than than someone shooting tires and disabling trucks. LOL.
Comment from Harry Craft
Excellent
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Very interesting story. These days they hire anyone who even cares to climb into a truck. They send you to the Acme 3 week training course and voila! You get a CDL to drive a truck. Then give you the keys and here ya' go. See you when you get back. Be Careful! Great story and so true! Keep up the great work!

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
    Thank you.
    I figured that this would be one most (Americans anyway) would identify with.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Excellent
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I really enjoyed how this story builds up the tension. The detailed planning by Clyde is so interesting. Great job showing us Clyde's internal conflict. Especially near the end. It's clear you put a lot of thought into this character. Looking forward to seeing where this goes!

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
    Thank you.
    I figured that this would be one most (Americans anyway) would identify with.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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Clyde had most definitely planned everything out from start to finish, except for forgetting the license plate. He'd pulled it off, so why the extreme jitters now? Could he call it quits feeling like he'd gotten his revenge, or was it something else?

Great job! I can't wait to read on.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
    Thank you. His revenge has just started. He wants 'Santa Claus'.
    Jitters often follow the ebbing of adrenaline.
reply by Begin Again on 17-Sep-2024
    Well, forget it then...I'm not riding with Clyde because my jitters would rock the car. LOL Thanks for sharing another great read.
    Smiles, Carol