The Payphone
The opening paragraph to a mystery novel titled 'Rock Fever'4 total reviews
Comment from Amelie Johns
Wow, this has me hooked. I want to know more. What are they doing out in such horrid conditions and who are they trying to call. This is so descriptive, I feel like I am there. I can feel the cold and the eeriness. I am left wanting more. What a great entry for 'Opening Line'.
Best of luck
Amelie
  |
Wow, this has me hooked. I want to know more. What are they doing out in such horrid conditions and who are they trying to call. This is so descriptive, I feel like I am there. I can feel the cold and the eeriness. I am left wanting more. What a great entry for 'Opening Line'.
Best of luck
Amelie
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent! Marvelous description and definitely a pull that intrigues the reader and brings them deeper and deeper into the moment. Questioning why?
Smiles, Carol
 |
Excellent! Marvelous description and definitely a pull that intrigues the reader and brings them deeper and deeper into the moment. Questioning why?
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A cleverly written descriptive moment in time and I was drawn into your story from the very first word. A skilful post for the contest, much enjoyed, love Dolly x x x x
|
A cleverly written descriptive moment in time and I was drawn into your story from the very first word. A skilful post for the contest, much enjoyed, love Dolly x x x x
Comment Written 16-Sep-2024
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought the difference between the storm's fury and the silence of the abandoned beach created an interesting environment. The way you describe the figures' movements and the harsh elements they face really made this interesting. The imagery of the payphone standing alone in the darkness was haunting. Fantastic job!
|
I thought the difference between the storm's fury and the silence of the abandoned beach created an interesting environment. The way you describe the figures' movements and the harsh elements they face really made this interesting. The imagery of the payphone standing alone in the darkness was haunting. Fantastic job!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2024
