The Absconder
Twisted Loop5 total reviews
Comment from Rachelle Allen
I"m so glad you added that Author's Note about 'raw' and 'roar.' I had no idea!! Very cute and elaborate tale in this new format. You did an impressive job, indeed. I hope you do well with it in the polls!! xoxox
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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I"m so glad you added that Author's Note about 'raw' and 'roar.' I had no idea!! Very cute and elaborate tale in this new format. You did an impressive job, indeed. I hope you do well with it in the polls!! xoxox
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Thank you, Rachelle
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Mystery Writer,
Loved every morsel of your Twisted Loop Poem, and I'll give you "roar" rhyming with "raw"...(maybe...:) ) but "bean" rhyming with "been" is too much for this old Michigander's heart to bear/bare! :) :) :) :)
Best wishes!
fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Hello, Mystery Writer,
Loved every morsel of your Twisted Loop Poem, and I'll give you "roar" rhyming with "raw"...(maybe...:) ) but "bean" rhyming with "been" is too much for this old Michigander's heart to bear/bare! :) :) :) :)
Best wishes!
fondly,
diane
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you, Diane.
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Our son-in-law is from Tilston, England - next door to Chester. Will be with him tomorrow, and I'll ask him how he pronounces the aforementioned words. I love his accent = still there, although he has been in the states since 2008. We have great fun with American pronunciations when we are together.
Again, I loved your offering!
diane
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There are also many different accents/pronunciations within the UK as well as USA/UK. It's a minefield haha :)
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So true!
Our son-in-law's brother doesn't speak anything like our son-in-law. Now THAT is funny!
Comment from SimianSavant
**rating adjusted up after edits made by author**
Hey this is an ambitious poem (doing all this while rhyming too? Wow) but you've got a couple issues here that will get this piece DQd in its current form:
Seen last on the rides, now no clue, not a bean./
They looked for poor Rose, searching all the day through. (Bean/they - just looks like an inadvertent error)
until a loud roar/
Raw fervour erupted. (roar and raw do not sound the same in American pronunciation, and since I assume they do in yours based on your English spelling of "fervour" (we'd write "fervor" on this side of the lake") I suggest mentioning that in the author notes in case the judges are American and don't realize this.
Let me know if you fix the first one, and I will bump this up a star. Regards,
🦍
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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**rating adjusted up after edits made by author**
Hey this is an ambitious poem (doing all this while rhyming too? Wow) but you've got a couple issues here that will get this piece DQd in its current form:
Seen last on the rides, now no clue, not a bean./
They looked for poor Rose, searching all the day through. (Bean/they - just looks like an inadvertent error)
until a loud roar/
Raw fervour erupted. (roar and raw do not sound the same in American pronunciation, and since I assume they do in yours based on your English spelling of "fervour" (we'd write "fervor" on this side of the lake") I suggest mentioning that in the author notes in case the judges are American and don't realize this.
Let me know if you fix the first one, and I will bump this up a star. Regards,
🦍
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Wow, Simian, thanks so much for spotting that.
Writing this was like doing a circus trapeze act whilst eating a 3 course meal!
I did have in mind 'been' but then somehow got distracted so all thanks to you for picking it up :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a clever twisted loop and I enjoyed the same words with different meanings and the clever end rhymes. These poems are not easy to write and I enjoyed the story here too, a joy to read, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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This is a clever twisted loop and I enjoyed the same words with different meanings and the clever end rhymes. These poems are not easy to write and I enjoyed the story here too, a joy to read, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you, Dolly.
Comment from patcelaw
I really like the concept of the twisted poem format and I enjoyed listening to yours very much as it flows very well when it is rid of that and your presentation is beautiful. May you have a very blessed day and may God give you a wonderful weekend
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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I really like the concept of the twisted poem format and I enjoyed listening to yours very much as it flows very well when it is rid of that and your presentation is beautiful. May you have a very blessed day and may God give you a wonderful weekend
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you
