2024 Gypsy's Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 199 "Unmoored Boat"x
20 total reviews
Comment from Sue Smith
I love the image of a lake full of sky. Absolutely lovely and perfect for a haiku. I got a bit sidetracked though by the first line. I assumed it was an empty boat (probably because of the picture) but that would only drift. Someone would have to be in it for it to be sailing. Really nice last line that brings closure
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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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I love the image of a lake full of sky. Absolutely lovely and perfect for a haiku. I got a bit sidetracked though by the first line. I assumed it was an empty boat (probably because of the picture) but that would only drift. Someone would have to be in it for it to be sailing. Really nice last line that brings closure
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much, sue. Good suggestion.
Gypsy 😊
Comment from rspoet
Hello Gypsy,
I enjoyed your haiku full of marvelous imagery
which, to me, is the heart of poetry/haiku.
I liked the excellent grammatical connection in the first two lines
and echoing satori line.
Since it's in a contest, a few small suggestions:
If you prefer it unrhymed. Perhaps a synonym for sky
such as stars, light, beams, etc. Or simply drop "goodbye."
Because of the art work, I thought "drifts" rather than "sails."
Either way, an excellent haiku. Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Hello Gypsy,
I enjoyed your haiku full of marvelous imagery
which, to me, is the heart of poetry/haiku.
I liked the excellent grammatical connection in the first two lines
and echoing satori line.
Since it's in a contest, a few small suggestions:
If you prefer it unrhymed. Perhaps a synonym for sky
such as stars, light, beams, etc. Or simply drop "goodbye."
Because of the art work, I thought "drifts" rather than "sails."
Either way, an excellent haiku. Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Robert , it's so good to hear from you. Thank you very much for your exceptional and helpful feedback and review.
Gypsy 😊
Comment from Begin Again
Well done! Beautiful setting in the picture to match the words. I live along a river and I've seen a boat drifting now and then, especially when the waters have risen over night. A peaceful scene.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Well done! Beautiful setting in the picture to match the words. I live along a river and I've seen a boat drifting now and then, especially when the waters have risen over night. A peaceful scene.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much,
Carol
Gypsy 😊
Comment from Gloria ....
I truly enjoy the tone and imagery contained here. While it addresses a cool solitude there is great warmth within it.
Wishing you the best of luck with the contest committee. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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I truly enjoy the tone and imagery contained here. While it addresses a cool solitude there is great warmth within it.
Wishing you the best of luck with the contest committee. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much, Gloria. I appreciate your exceptional six stars review and kind wishes.
Gypsy 😊
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hello Gypsy!
I just love your words, but even more than that, are the images you choose to bring them to life. The multimedia presentation of your poem turns them into a visual experience that is very pleasing to the reader (viewer?). The colors in this are just beautiful!
---"across a lake full of sky" --This is just perfect, the essence of true poetry.
Patrick
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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Hello Gypsy!
I just love your words, but even more than that, are the images you choose to bring them to life. The multimedia presentation of your poem turns them into a visual experience that is very pleasing to the reader (viewer?). The colors in this are just beautiful!
---"across a lake full of sky" --This is just perfect, the essence of true poetry.
Patrick
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much, Patrick
Gypsy 😊
Comment from Mrs. KT
Absolutely lovely, Gypsy.
I appreciate your form and message, but most of all the feeling your exceptionally well-crafted Haiku conveys.
Thank you for sharing!
Best Wishes!
fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Absolutely lovely, Gypsy.
I appreciate your form and message, but most of all the feeling your exceptionally well-crafted Haiku conveys.
Thank you for sharing!
Best Wishes!
fondly,
diane
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you very, Diane
Gypsy hugs 😊
Comment from royowen
As always, such a great presentation, with the articulate words words woven beautifully Into the soft, dark background hits of an happening of clandestine proportions, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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As always, such a great presentation, with the articulate words words woven beautifully Into the soft, dark background hits of an happening of clandestine proportions, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you very, Roy
Gypsy hugs 😊
Comment from jake cosmos aller
liked this short haiku about a boat on the lake and the crickets chirping goodby as the boat sails away across the lake filled with the sky great image chosen as well
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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liked this short haiku about a boat on the lake and the crickets chirping goodby as the boat sails away across the lake filled with the sky great image chosen as well
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you very, Jake
Gypsy hugs 😊
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Marival.
This is a good haiku that personifies the boat and crickets. I like the way you describe the personify the reflection in the middle line. I like how the print font matches the colors in the artwork.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a good rest of your weekend
Joan
Just to let you know I have published a book called The Interloper ( and other stories in poetry and prose) by Joan Pecther. It is available on Amazon.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Hi Marival.
This is a good haiku that personifies the boat and crickets. I like the way you describe the personify the reflection in the middle line. I like how the print font matches the colors in the artwork.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a good rest of your weekend
Joan
Just to let you know I have published a book called The Interloper ( and other stories in poetry and prose) by Joan Pecther. It is available on Amazon.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Congratulations!!!! I published two books in Amazon. I did all the work.
Thank you very, Joan
Gypsy hugs 😊
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Thanks for the congratulations. I got a copy of my book and found some errors. So I re-edited and resubmitted it. This is a hard and stressful process.
You very welcome, Marival.
Joan
Comment from GWHARGIS
There was a real peaceful feeling to this poem. I could hear the gentle lapping of the water against the boat and hear the distant crickets. I enjoyed this very much. Gret
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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There was a real peaceful feeling to this poem. I could hear the gentle lapping of the water against the boat and hear the distant crickets. I enjoyed this very much. Gret
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you very, Gret
Gypsy hugs 😊