cummunism fears haiku
communist is still a boogeyman2 total reviews
Comment from kiwisteveh
I have to say this is quite a weird haiku.
Little things first - you have a spelling mistake in your title. Still on the title, it suggests that communism is afraid of the haiku poetic form. I must admit the image gave me a chuckle. Haiku traditionally don't actually have titles but one way of getting around that is to give them the label Haiku and then use the words of the first line in brackets. So your title would be:
Haiku (Fear of Communism)
Then there's the matter of syllables. I know the contest says you don't have to stick to the 5-7-5 format, but yours seems way off. It is something like 6-7-8
Then to be really strict, a haiku should relate to nature in some way. No sign of that here as you give us a political thought. Again the rules don't mention this, but really your poem would fit better into a 5-7-5 contest. Too many of us reviewers like to see tradition echoed in our haiku.
you might also like to check the spelling of boogyman...
Steve
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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I have to say this is quite a weird haiku.
Little things first - you have a spelling mistake in your title. Still on the title, it suggests that communism is afraid of the haiku poetic form. I must admit the image gave me a chuckle. Haiku traditionally don't actually have titles but one way of getting around that is to give them the label Haiku and then use the words of the first line in brackets. So your title would be:
Haiku (Fear of Communism)
Then there's the matter of syllables. I know the contest says you don't have to stick to the 5-7-5 format, but yours seems way off. It is something like 6-7-8
Then to be really strict, a haiku should relate to nature in some way. No sign of that here as you give us a political thought. Again the rules don't mention this, but really your poem would fit better into a 5-7-5 contest. Too many of us reviewers like to see tradition echoed in our haiku.
you might also like to check the spelling of boogyman...
Steve
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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good comments, I will revise it a bit
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was very creative. The idea of "boogeyman" really captures the irrational fear. And "50's bizarro world" was so clever. You show how outdated those ideas feel today. Great job.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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I thought this was very creative. The idea of "boogeyman" really captures the irrational fear. And "50's bizarro world" was so clever. You show how outdated those ideas feel today. Great job.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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thanks a lot
