Comment from
lancellot
This is a good chapter. If I may, I would advise increasing the font size. Also, take care with speech tags and not mixing two different characters POV or actions in the same paragraph.
notes:
Terry stared straight into {Warrens} eyes with that point.
-Warren's
{Warrens} quick mind was formulating a plan.
-Warren's
{Lets'} focus on that for now and go from there.
-Let's, for=Let us
"Sure, of course Anderson." Terry replied
-"Sure, of course Anderson," Terry replied
the group of missing persons?" Came the question
-the group of missing persons?" came the question
How would she handle this, and without causing any more riffs at BPD.
-How would she handle this, and without causing any more riffs at BPD?
"Better than I thought." Replied the satisfied Terry
-"Better than I thought," replied the satisfied Terry
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
Again thank you for the review
Comment from
Michael Ludwinder
I thought this chapter had such tension. Enjoyed reading it! I loved how you captured the characters' personalities. I could especially feel Terry's resilience and wit. The dialogue between Terry and Warren is well written. I enjoyed the way Terry stood up to Hayes with her sharp humor! Looking forward to seeing where this leads!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
Thank you Michael! I always look forward to your feedback>