Womb
a story13 total reviews
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Bill,
what an interesting, yet disturbing look at what a bleak future could lay ahead for mankind. What kind of world would it be if the only sex was virtual, which I guess for some folks might be the case now. You certainly have quite the imagination. Congratulations on the seal of quality.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Hello Bill,
what an interesting, yet disturbing look at what a bleak future could lay ahead for mankind. What kind of world would it be if the only sex was virtual, which I guess for some folks might be the case now. You certainly have quite the imagination. Congratulations on the seal of quality.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much, Tom. The idea of what's "natural" and what is mechanical may lead to something weird like this. The passion for procreating new life may also prove to be ironic as the worth of those lives is made robotic and replaceable.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Congratulations on the Quality Seal, Bill! And how deserved on this imaginative and unnerving magnum opus! You must be a scientist because so much of this goes over my head but it doesn't stop me from being impressed by this futuristic theme of disembodied wombs being manually inseminated as though on a factory conveyor belt. Very well done! I'm now going off to lie down in a darkened room:)) Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2024
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Congratulations on the Quality Seal, Bill! And how deserved on this imaginative and unnerving magnum opus! You must be a scientist because so much of this goes over my head but it doesn't stop me from being impressed by this futuristic theme of disembodied wombs being manually inseminated as though on a factory conveyor belt. Very well done! I'm now going off to lie down in a darkened room:)) Take care Debbie
Comment Written 23-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Debbie
Comment from samandlancelot
Hi Bill,
Congratulations on your Seal of Quality award!
The coldness of your message shows in every unemotional delivery and cleanup of each birth. Your victims, Eve and Evan, lack emotions and gender differences. They both have the same sterile outcome. Their lives are meaningless without recognizing the beauty of birth.
Suggestions:
a cybernetic company on Io (this doesn't make sense)
Patricia
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2024
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Hi Bill,
Congratulations on your Seal of Quality award!
The coldness of your message shows in every unemotional delivery and cleanup of each birth. Your victims, Eve and Evan, lack emotions and gender differences. They both have the same sterile outcome. Their lives are meaningless without recognizing the beauty of birth.
Suggestions:
a cybernetic company on Io (this doesn't make sense)
Patricia
Comment Written 23-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the great review, Patricia.
Io = (eye oh) is a moon of Jupiter.
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Thanks for clarifying, Bill. You've taught me something new.
Comment from SimianSavant
Pretty evocative and memorable dystopian scenario, and you put lots of thought into it. Unfortunately these seal of qualify editors don't seem to be giving you as much editing as they should. Here are some technical edits:
Pushing the body back into the container it revolved to the left. <= reword for clarity
Dougie and B.J.. <= try to avoid having two consecutive periods.
The food was nonstop, they even ate with the ship's captain. <= run-on sentence with a millennial comma. Use a semicolon or period instead.
Womb 20 rolled into view and slid out to her. <= put in some sort of break before
Shoulders had crested and Eve grabbed the head and pulled the small body the rest of the way out. <= run-on sentence. You can use one "and" to extend a sentence, but not multiple. I would put a period after "crested".
her designs were being purchased by a cybernetic company on Io for use <= on loan??
Eve was not aware of the disassembly <= try: Eve was unaware
Her body had been externally scrubbed, AND an electrolysis ball removed AND deadened all hair and follicles respectively. <= confusing, and needs to be reworded for clarity
Pushing the body back into the container <= place a comma here => it too revolved to the left.
It opened and produced a double-ringed device that he slipped onto his index and middle finger. <= definitely some copying and pasting going on, which is probably the point?
Evan took an inseminator module and inserted and anchored it into the vaginal opening. <= run-on. Try: ..."module, inserting and anchoring it"
Hope this is helpful and thanks for the read,
🦍
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2024
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Pretty evocative and memorable dystopian scenario, and you put lots of thought into it. Unfortunately these seal of qualify editors don't seem to be giving you as much editing as they should. Here are some technical edits:
Pushing the body back into the container it revolved to the left. <= reword for clarity
Dougie and B.J.. <= try to avoid having two consecutive periods.
The food was nonstop, they even ate with the ship's captain. <= run-on sentence with a millennial comma. Use a semicolon or period instead.
Womb 20 rolled into view and slid out to her. <= put in some sort of break before
Shoulders had crested and Eve grabbed the head and pulled the small body the rest of the way out. <= run-on sentence. You can use one "and" to extend a sentence, but not multiple. I would put a period after "crested".
her designs were being purchased by a cybernetic company on Io for use <= on loan??
Eve was not aware of the disassembly <= try: Eve was unaware
Her body had been externally scrubbed, AND an electrolysis ball removed AND deadened all hair and follicles respectively. <= confusing, and needs to be reworded for clarity
Pushing the body back into the container <= place a comma here => it too revolved to the left.
It opened and produced a double-ringed device that he slipped onto his index and middle finger. <= definitely some copying and pasting going on, which is probably the point?
Evan took an inseminator module and inserted and anchored it into the vaginal opening. <= run-on. Try: ..."module, inserting and anchoring it"
Hope this is helpful and thanks for the read,
🦍
Comment Written 22-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2024
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They simply reminded me to proofread the punctuation before actually submitting for pub.
Comment from Senyai
Hi Bill,
The repetition in this mind altering but expertly written work added to the numbing, lifeless, heartless, joyless existence of these humanoids that had been engineered to serve some dystopian power. Your scenarios of dealing with these disembodied wombs day in and day out, the worker drones Eve and Evan had no value and neither did the "babies" newly birthed from the valueless wombs. It is a strict warning, your words carry. Dehumanizing human life in any form cuts the lifeline and destroys joy and meaning. It's essentially a death sentence for the soul. Such a unforgettable story ... So well done, Bill!
Congratulations!
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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Hi Bill,
The repetition in this mind altering but expertly written work added to the numbing, lifeless, heartless, joyless existence of these humanoids that had been engineered to serve some dystopian power. Your scenarios of dealing with these disembodied wombs day in and day out, the worker drones Eve and Evan had no value and neither did the "babies" newly birthed from the valueless wombs. It is a strict warning, your words carry. Dehumanizing human life in any form cuts the lifeline and destroys joy and meaning. It's essentially a death sentence for the soul. Such a unforgettable story ... So well done, Bill!
Congratulations!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much, Senyai. So nice to see you back on the site.
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Thank you, Bill. Hoping to check in here more often now that I have more time. Great story!
Comment from artisart4u
This is a good story for the politicians and the public who knows little about medical field.
Good luck with your informative story.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2024
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This is a good story for the politicians and the public who knows little about medical field.
Good luck with your informative story.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2024
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Thanks, artisart
Comment from LJbutterfly
Congratulations on being awarded the Seal of Quality. After reading this riveting story, I had to sit a few minutes to decompress and comprehend the meaning of what I've just read. Your detailed, repeated descriptions of how a fetus was removed from the womb, left me, as a woman who has experienced child birth, very uncomfortable.
Eve's entire life transferred to Evan, including partnering with Celeste. Your haunting ending leaves the reader to ponder what happens to Evan.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2024
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Congratulations on being awarded the Seal of Quality. After reading this riveting story, I had to sit a few minutes to decompress and comprehend the meaning of what I've just read. Your detailed, repeated descriptions of how a fetus was removed from the womb, left me, as a woman who has experienced child birth, very uncomfortable.
Eve's entire life transferred to Evan, including partnering with Celeste. Your haunting ending leaves the reader to ponder what happens to Evan.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2024
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Thank you, LJ, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from nomi338
The story was complex, even though there was a great deal of repetition. The way it was told in such detail made it seem all to viable. I would rather die than live in such a cold and regulated system as was described in this story.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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The story was complex, even though there was a great deal of repetition. The way it was told in such detail made it seem all to viable. I would rather die than live in such a cold and regulated system as was described in this story.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Thank you
Comment from lyenochka
This was really weird, Bill. I am not quite certain what happened between Eve and whether Eve was a prior generation of Evan or vice versa but it seems that each lives an identical life just the names have changed. Scary stuff. As for the whole birthing process - this story should scare anyone who wants to put anyone's "womb" under government legislation.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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This was really weird, Bill. I am not quite certain what happened between Eve and whether Eve was a prior generation of Evan or vice versa but it seems that each lives an identical life just the names have changed. Scary stuff. As for the whole birthing process - this story should scare anyone who wants to put anyone's "womb" under government legislation.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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This is a hybrid future of humanity continuing with actual progress more of an idea than reality.
Comment from BethShelby
Wow! You are a mad scientist. This reminds me of The Brave New World only a lot scarier. What happens to Evan's body when he Storkes out. He doesn't have a womb to reprocess, or does he?
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Wow! You are a mad scientist. This reminds me of The Brave New World only a lot scarier. What happens to Evan's body when he Storkes out. He doesn't have a womb to reprocess, or does he?
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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That might be an interesting follow up. My use of Evan was to show that all the fake vacation time and family were transferable to another.