From a Lawn Chair on Mars
a story9 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
I wish I had a six left for you, Bill. This is fabulous writing. Perhaps you should turn your memories into a novel. I think this might very well be the best story you've ever posted.
That dung beetle was a hard-worker, too, wasn't he? Purpose. It's what we all need. Otherwise we become one of those beggars at the island in the intersection; he has a tent set up among the mogul pines that the city planners had council approve. It makes no sense anyway. None of it. Fighting a war in desert sand where a storm can hide almost everything in minutes. What's the point? It is like being set up on Mars. All you can see is sand and rocks. A sad way to treat U.S. marines. Paint and read. What else is there to do?
I'd like to read more of this, partner.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
  |
I wish I had a six left for you, Bill. This is fabulous writing. Perhaps you should turn your memories into a novel. I think this might very well be the best story you've ever posted.
That dung beetle was a hard-worker, too, wasn't he? Purpose. It's what we all need. Otherwise we become one of those beggars at the island in the intersection; he has a tent set up among the mogul pines that the city planners had council approve. It makes no sense anyway. None of it. Fighting a war in desert sand where a storm can hide almost everything in minutes. What's the point? It is like being set up on Mars. All you can see is sand and rocks. A sad way to treat U.S. marines. Paint and read. What else is there to do?
I'd like to read more of this, partner.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
-
Thank you, Kimbob. That was a story I wrote in college. It was part of my learning how to put a story together.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
When i think of the Arabian Desert, I think of fantasy stories and movies not of war. But I know that was just romantic fiction.
Do you really paint? I paint, I love all kinds of art expression.
I watched a movie screen play of the book, Lonesome Dove, a western. It was a beatiful movie with robert Duval. My ex loved
Louis L'amour novels.
Well done!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
|
When i think of the Arabian Desert, I think of fantasy stories and movies not of war. But I know that was just romantic fiction.
Do you really paint? I paint, I love all kinds of art expression.
I watched a movie screen play of the book, Lonesome Dove, a western. It was a beatiful movie with robert Duval. My ex loved
Louis L'amour novels.
Well done!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
-
Thank you, Gypsy. It was quite an experience.
Comment from lyenochka
Do you still paint? And I hope Kathy kept your letters. I can't imagine surviving those conditions but you were an experienced Marine and knew how to deal with even "Mars" at a time of "Go Wait".
Fabulous descriptions - think your experiences would work well for a sci-fi story background.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
|
Do you still paint? And I hope Kathy kept your letters. I can't imagine surviving those conditions but you were an experienced Marine and knew how to deal with even "Mars" at a time of "Go Wait".
Fabulous descriptions - think your experiences would work well for a sci-fi story background.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
-
Thank you, Helen. The letters are in a box in the attic.
Comment from nomi338
I cannot believe that I do not have six stars to give you for this awesome story. This story was so well written and told, I felt I was actually there and as grateful as all the guys who were being blessed with a trip back home. This story makes you appear as one hell of a writer.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
|
I cannot believe that I do not have six stars to give you for this awesome story. This story was so well written and told, I felt I was actually there and as grateful as all the guys who were being blessed with a trip back home. This story makes you appear as one hell of a writer.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
-
Thank you, nomi. I really like this story.
-
Just how factual is it? Is it inspired fiction or based on some factual accounts? Inquiring minds want to know.
-
I was there, the dung beetles were there, and we killed a log of people.
Comment from BethShelby
I enjoyed reading this. You are an impressive writer. Does your wife still have the volume that you wrote to her when you thought your life would soon be ending? I can understand why guys who have seen this kind of horror don't really want to talk about it. I got a good laugh when you described your painting after the sandstorm. I didn't know you were an artist. I have the feeling you would paint abstract with a lot of color. Anyway, I'd like to real more of this kind of tell all material.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
 |
I enjoyed reading this. You are an impressive writer. Does your wife still have the volume that you wrote to her when you thought your life would soon be ending? I can understand why guys who have seen this kind of horror don't really want to talk about it. I got a good laugh when you described your painting after the sandstorm. I didn't know you were an artist. I have the feeling you would paint abstract with a lot of color. Anyway, I'd like to real more of this kind of tell all material.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
-
Thank you, Beth. Yes, the seventy-five-page letter and all that came after and before it are in a box in the attic.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an excellent story that holds the readers imagination from start to finish. I could feel the desert sucking me in, and all to no apparent purpose, just waiting for it to be time to be sent home. War is so senseless. kay
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
|
This is an excellent story that holds the readers imagination from start to finish. I could feel the desert sucking me in, and all to no apparent purpose, just waiting for it to be time to be sent home. War is so senseless. kay
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
-
Thank you. Katherine. It was a big war, finished in record time, and paid for by Saudi Arabia.
Comment from AliMom
Moving. An excellent descriptive passage about the personal and emotional toll of being at war. Your specific references to items used during preparation and active participation mingled with your desires, hopes, recollections, etc. bring a human and very real perspective to this piece of writing. We can feel your simultaneous fear and your bravery. We, who have never served, feel your horror and grief at the waste of human lived torn to pieces by war. Using the canvas and the dung beetle's struggle as extended metaphors for the struggles of man - brilliant. Than you for your service. Thank you for this piece.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
|
Moving. An excellent descriptive passage about the personal and emotional toll of being at war. Your specific references to items used during preparation and active participation mingled with your desires, hopes, recollections, etc. bring a human and very real perspective to this piece of writing. We can feel your simultaneous fear and your bravery. We, who have never served, feel your horror and grief at the waste of human lived torn to pieces by war. Using the canvas and the dung beetle's struggle as extended metaphors for the struggles of man - brilliant. Than you for your service. Thank you for this piece.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
-
Thank you, AliMom, for this exceptional review. It was a war like no other, which was basically over after the first forty-eight hours, but lasted so long because there was so much equipment to move.
Comment from jim vecchio
What a far cry from those three-liners! I believe this is the best work you have done yet. Five stars seems too little for such an epic, so I am sending you a prize. Thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
|
What a far cry from those three-liners! I believe this is the best work you have done yet. Five stars seems too little for such an epic, so I am sending you a prize. Thanks for posting.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
-
What?! This is quite humbling, Jim. I certainly appreciate it.
-
You writing is very worthy of reward.
Comment from Begin Again
So worthy of a six! ....Chills! Sadness! Pride! And loss for words! I can't imagine any human being who has not experienced the war and how it affects you and those around you to understand the true depth of being in a position where you assume you will die. though told with a touch of humor to "dress it up" for the average reader, your story was moving (or maybe that was the dung beetle) and I thank you for your service.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
|
So worthy of a six! ....Chills! Sadness! Pride! And loss for words! I can't imagine any human being who has not experienced the war and how it affects you and those around you to understand the true depth of being in a position where you assume you will die. though told with a touch of humor to "dress it up" for the average reader, your story was moving (or maybe that was the dung beetle) and I thank you for your service.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
-
Thank you so much, Carol. I appreciate your review. This one meant a lot to me.
-
Bless you!