Comment from tempeste

Excellent

Ciao !

This is an unusual topic.

I know couples who go dancing at least once a week.

They just love to move as soon as they hear music .

It's in their blood.

I think it's not such a bad way to go at least she was doing something she loved.

PS you need to read the requirements again : each line should have 8 syllables


and the first line is repeated in the other three stanzas but it should be :

the second line in the second stanza ,

the third line in the third stanza

and the last line in the fourth stanza.

Best of luck!

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024

Thank You, I fixed the poem up now

reply by tempeste on 13-Sep-2024

I went to check.

The fourth stanza sure leaves a mark ( maggots gather 😳 )

It would have been a great entry for Halloween 🎃

Best of luck 🍀

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

I love how you show her initial grace. That was beautiful. I was not expected the ending. It was so surprising. Looking deeper in your poem it shows how we shouldn't take life for granted. A very powerful poem!

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

Your words built the tension of her struggle, her desire to dance and to give a piece of herself until she couldn't anymore. The audience or those around her are shocked and don't understand until it is too late.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024