The Blood of Dezirayh (Excerpt)
A Sensual Exercise3 total reviews
Comment from F. William Lester
Good scene description, especially with all the sensory cues. Although I think short short prose, mico-fiction, or whatever you want to call it should present a complete picture in the course of the story, this certainly got my attention. Well done and good luck in the contest. Be well.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Good scene description, especially with all the sensory cues. Although I think short short prose, mico-fiction, or whatever you want to call it should present a complete picture in the course of the story, this certainly got my attention. Well done and good luck in the contest. Be well.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
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Hi William (?)! Thank you for reviewing the entry! The prompt actually specified that it could be a fragment. The point was to show sensual prose. It seems that all of the entries chose the micro-fiction route, which is fine. Maybe that's why I'm not doing so well! 😂 Nice to meet you, and thanks again for taking the time to comment!
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You're very welcome. Have a wonderful day.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Very descriptive imagery for this poem. I liked how most people are using pleasant descriptions and you are doing the opposite but the prompt did not say use only descriptions of pleasing things for the senses. Your descriptions are vivid and memorable because they are not pleasant. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Very descriptive imagery for this poem. I liked how most people are using pleasant descriptions and you are doing the opposite but the prompt did not say use only descriptions of pleasing things for the senses. Your descriptions are vivid and memorable because they are not pleasant. Nicely done.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Hey, it's me! That's what I get for going all negative. 🤣
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your description of Andréia's discomfort is well done. I like how you shared her distress - each detail adds to her turmoil. Her plea to the Blessed Mother was really emotional. I thought fiddling with the signet ring added to the anxiety. Great job!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Your description of Andréia's discomfort is well done. I like how you shared her distress - each detail adds to her turmoil. Her plea to the Blessed Mother was really emotional. I thought fiddling with the signet ring added to the anxiety. Great job!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
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Thanks Michael!
