2024 Gypsy's Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 190 "Winter Blast Blows"x
7 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
There's a feeling of mystery and/or eeriness with this poem. I enjoyed reading. I can fell the Dean Kuch influence as I read. Thank you for sharing this poem and the entire presentation with us.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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There's a feeling of mystery and/or eeriness with this poem. I enjoyed reading. I can fell the Dean Kuch influence as I read. Thank you for sharing this poem and the entire presentation with us.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy 😊
Comment from dovemarie
Hi Gypsy, good picture of wind in the winter "blasting" over a tomb in a dark,cold cemetery. I like the line "wailing wind," alliteration and it also makes me think of a person wailing in grief over the tomb of a loved one. Dove
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Hi Gypsy, good picture of wind in the winter "blasting" over a tomb in a dark,cold cemetery. I like the line "wailing wind," alliteration and it also makes me think of a person wailing in grief over the tomb of a loved one. Dove
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Yes, you got it. That was my intention.
Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy 😊
Comment from shelley kaye
i think it should have an 's' on blow... since "winter blast" is singular...
love the pic of the old cemetery at top!
though can't really tell what the bottom pic it (that could be just me, too lol)
a great haiku - love the contrast between a new grave and winter wind wailing - great imagery
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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i think it should have an 's' on blow... since "winter blast" is singular...
love the pic of the old cemetery at top!
though can't really tell what the bottom pic it (that could be just me, too lol)
a great haiku - love the contrast between a new grave and winter wind wailing - great imagery
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. I added the s thanks!
Gypsy 😊
Comment from RJ Heritage
Feels as though the winter and the wind morning the person who has passed. In my mind the winner bastante, seems to want to retrieve the ierson from the ground.
Nice one
RJ
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Feels as though the winter and the wind morning the person who has passed. In my mind the winner bastante, seems to want to retrieve the ierson from the ground.
Nice one
RJ
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. You got my intention.
Gypsy 😊
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is indeed a deeply felt moment in time. Poignant and haunting in essence (I have to be careful with that word because, apparently, the AI police don't like it!). Your alliteration skilfully enhances the imagery and flow. Well done! Debbie
winter blast blow(s)
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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This is indeed a deeply felt moment in time. Poignant and haunting in essence (I have to be careful with that word because, apparently, the AI police don't like it!). Your alliteration skilfully enhances the imagery and flow. Well done! Debbie
winter blast blow(s)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy 😊
Comment from lyenochka
Great use of alliteration here! I wondered if you intended to say:
"Winter's blast blows" ? That the wind blows right over the freshly dug grave, gives it more feeling of the mourning wind's wail.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Great use of alliteration here! I wondered if you intended to say:
"Winter's blast blows" ? That the wind blows right over the freshly dug grave, gives it more feeling of the mourning wind's wail.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Yes, it should be blows, Shelley told me too. Thank God for good friends.
Thank you very much, big sister ❤️
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hello Gypsy!
I enjoyed reading you Haiku! I have to admit it gave me a chill, in both senses of the word, as a good Haiku should.
I would only make one tiny suggestion, if you would pardon me from doing so. In the first line, it seems that it might be better if you change "blow" to "blows," for it makes more sense as the sentence continues in the second line. Grammatically, a "winter blast" is a singular thing and therefore needs the verb following it to be plural. Plus, this change doesn't add to your syllable-count. Please take my suggestion for whatever value it offers. Ultimately, the poet is the one who chooses the words, not the reader. Nice to meet you, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Patrick
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Hello Gypsy!
I enjoyed reading you Haiku! I have to admit it gave me a chill, in both senses of the word, as a good Haiku should.
I would only make one tiny suggestion, if you would pardon me from doing so. In the first line, it seems that it might be better if you change "blow" to "blows," for it makes more sense as the sentence continues in the second line. Grammatically, a "winter blast" is a singular thing and therefore needs the verb following it to be plural. Plus, this change doesn't add to your syllable-count. Please take my suggestion for whatever value it offers. Ultimately, the poet is the one who chooses the words, not the reader. Nice to meet you, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Patrick
Comment Written 03-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy 😊