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A sea battle.5 total reviews
Comment from royowen
A great story Douglas, I'm rather fond of westerns, science fiction, and the rarely written pirate/lizard stories, I loved this, it is a great post and fitting end to this particular with the baddies dutifully vanquished, well done, quite exciting, blessings Roy
Query: Why do American writers use the word drug, When a much better word like dragged is available Douglas?
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
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A great story Douglas, I'm rather fond of westerns, science fiction, and the rarely written pirate/lizard stories, I loved this, it is a great post and fitting end to this particular with the baddies dutifully vanquished, well done, quite exciting, blessings Roy
Query: Why do American writers use the word drug, When a much better word like dragged is available Douglas?
Comment Written 03-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
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I know when I put dragged I get jumped out by the FS elite! HA!
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The rest of the English speaking world use dragged. My wife cringes at drug, it sounds like taking heroine. she speaks and teaches two languages speaks 4.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
As I read this I wondered if this wasn't going to be entered into the first chapter contest, and I see it is. I do hope you continue this as a novel. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
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As I read this I wondered if this wasn't going to be entered into the first chapter contest, and I see it is. I do hope you continue this as a novel. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck with the contest.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
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I know this is not your genre, my friend. So, I really appreciate the review!!!
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It may not be my genre, but I respect good writing.
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You have such a lovely spirit. I hope your upcoming g writing endeavors go well. I will be praying for you!
Comment from Sally Law
D, this is Fabulous! You're such a guy! Of course I like that about you. (Smiles.)
And a female pirate ship captain! Who knew? I'm pretty seaworthy so I could do the navigation and keep the men in line. Just a bloody line of work, ya know?
With my six comes a suggestion because I have done many of these first chapter deals and all have become books.
Add a character list because you need one. You have a lot of characters in this first chapter. I would add only the main characters if some of these are going to be killed off. Just a suggestion from a friend and fan.
Sending you my best today as always, and my best wishes in the first chapter contest.
Captain Sally Xo
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
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D, this is Fabulous! You're such a guy! Of course I like that about you. (Smiles.)
And a female pirate ship captain! Who knew? I'm pretty seaworthy so I could do the navigation and keep the men in line. Just a bloody line of work, ya know?
With my six comes a suggestion because I have done many of these first chapter deals and all have become books.
Add a character list because you need one. You have a lot of characters in this first chapter. I would add only the main characters if some of these are going to be killed off. Just a suggestion from a friend and fan.
Sending you my best today as always, and my best wishes in the first chapter contest.
Captain Sally Xo
Comment Written 03-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
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All your suggestions are of high and great value to me. I do not currently plan to continue this book on here as Fantasy Fiction is not a Fanstory favorite.
Appreciate the awesome review!!!
Comment from Begin Again
It was like stepping through the "looking glass." Our high seas pirates suddenly turned into a world of strange fantasy, and you've done it quite well. Though my feeble mind had difficulty remembering who was fighting whom, those who love oddity will definitely want you to continue. It's a bit out of my genre, but I still admit it was done very well.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
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It was like stepping through the "looking glass." Our high seas pirates suddenly turned into a world of strange fantasy, and you've done it quite well. Though my feeble mind had difficulty remembering who was fighting whom, those who love oddity will definitely want you to continue. It's a bit out of my genre, but I still admit it was done very well.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 03-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
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Thank you, Carol My muse is a wild fire who spews words faster than I can write . . . . . .
Comment from Julie Helms
Ooh, what I thought was a pirate tale got more interesting as fantasy elements were introduced. You started your chapter perfectly with the imminent confrontation.
Just two suggestions:
prepare your warriors to repel borders!"
(boarders)
The female pirate captain released the two attackers from her hooks
AND
One of the female's own chain blades came down and sliced her across the upper thigh.
(I would stop with saying female. It looks like you're trying to push that aspect too hard. By the first above quote, we already know she's a woman, and in both of these you have a pronoun in there to remind us if we forgot.)
Great action start to a novel. Do you think you'll continue with it?
Julie
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
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Ooh, what I thought was a pirate tale got more interesting as fantasy elements were introduced. You started your chapter perfectly with the imminent confrontation.
Just two suggestions:
prepare your warriors to repel borders!"
(boarders)
The female pirate captain released the two attackers from her hooks
AND
One of the female's own chain blades came down and sliced her across the upper thigh.
(I would stop with saying female. It looks like you're trying to push that aspect too hard. By the first above quote, we already know she's a woman, and in both of these you have a pronoun in there to remind us if we forgot.)
Great action start to a novel. Do you think you'll continue with it?
Julie
Comment Written 03-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2024
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Thanks for the corrections! Good to hear from you again!
This is actually the sixth book in my Thirteen Kings Series called Kindred. I never even put the fish book, which is done, on FS. Not a big Fantasy Fiction fan base on the site. Not sure where I will go from here with the series.
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I had no idea you'd written so much. Any of it published yet?
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Haven't tried on my books Still need a lot of editing.
