Valse de poèmes
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Tragedy"inspiring poems for the souls and hearts
17 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
This is a very moving free verse. I think many find it relatable. I have one suggestion below for you to look at.
notes:
It's endlessly pouring love,
If he shuts his eyes I fall,
There is Point of View shift at this point. It goes from direct to indirect address.
  |
This is a very moving free verse. I think many find it relatable. I have one suggestion below for you to look at.
notes:
It's endlessly pouring love,
If he shuts his eyes I fall,
There is Point of View shift at this point. It goes from direct to indirect address.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
Comment from EeanBlack
The word obstacles is missing an s. This poem is too deep for me. That's a good thing. It leaves me thinking and applying some verses to my life situation. It's very good. Could you explain free verse? I like this poem format, but don't really know what's going on.
|
The word obstacles is missing an s. This poem is too deep for me. That's a good thing. It leaves me thinking and applying some verses to my life situation. It's very good. Could you explain free verse? I like this poem format, but don't really know what's going on.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
Comment from moonsunrise
I love the image you selected for your poem. I so love how your begin your poem of love.
"The reflection of your pure soul,
Through the mirrors of your eyes, "
Indeed the eyes are the window to one's soul.
It is tragic though how demons between the love shared between two can distort the truth of love.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
|
I love the image you selected for your poem. I so love how your begin your poem of love.
"The reflection of your pure soul,
Through the mirrors of your eyes, "
Indeed the eyes are the window to one's soul.
It is tragic though how demons between the love shared between two can distort the truth of love.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
-
many thanks for loving and eating my poem, your feedback is really important to me, i am glad this was able to captivate your attention and appreciation,
cheers !
Sarah
Comment from lyenochka
A lovely free verse poem for the contest! Is it based on a sonnet per your notes? It has 14 lines but no iambic pentameter so it should be fine for the free verse contest. Congratulations on the 50th post!
I liked how you portrayed the difficulties of a love relationship with the "demons" that are trying to separate the couple. There are so many things that attack marriages and families today.
Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
|
A lovely free verse poem for the contest! Is it based on a sonnet per your notes? It has 14 lines but no iambic pentameter so it should be fine for the free verse contest. Congratulations on the 50th post!
I liked how you portrayed the difficulties of a love relationship with the "demons" that are trying to separate the couple. There are so many things that attack marriages and families today.
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 12-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
-
Hi, i totally agree with you, jealousy, envy, sometimes the government separate couples,
Thanks for your lovely review and I look forward to receiving some more in future,
Kind regards,
Sarah
Comment from patcelaw
This is a nicely written, Shakespearean sonnet it flows very well when it is read aloud and it is very touching. May you have a wonderful weekend and may God bless you.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
|
This is a nicely written, Shakespearean sonnet it flows very well when it is read aloud and it is very touching. May you have a wonderful weekend and may God bless you.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
-
many thanks for your kind review,
i am glad you enjoyed my poem, and look forward to receiving more reviews from you,
warm regards,
Sarah
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Sarah,
Congrats on your 5oth post.
Nicely done free verse for the contest. Your notes say a Shakespearean sonnet and this is not one. If it was it wouldn't fit the contest.
This is a poem about how love is hard sometimes. It seems both of these people have personality issues that are weakening the bond. It seems the woman is depending too much on the man to light her way.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great weekend.
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
|
Hi Sarah,
Congrats on your 5oth post.
Nicely done free verse for the contest. Your notes say a Shakespearean sonnet and this is not one. If it was it wouldn't fit the contest.
This is a poem about how love is hard sometimes. It seems both of these people have personality issues that are weakening the bond. It seems the woman is depending too much on the man to light her way.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great weekend.
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
Comment Written 12-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
-
many thanks for your very helpful and encouraging review :)
Have a blessed Sunday,
Sarah
-
You are most kindly welcome, Sarah You too.
Joan
Comment from Mike Stevens
A fine free-fo rm poem, Sarah------and you've painted a picture with words, something I wish I was better at. I tend to be a Joe Friday type, just the facts, ma'am literalist
|
A fine free-fo rm poem, Sarah------and you've painted a picture with words, something I wish I was better at. I tend to be a Joe Friday type, just the facts, ma'am literalist
Comment Written 05-Oct-2024
Comment from Brenda Strauser
This poem is so heartfelt. I could feel your emotions well through your words. The words are so descriptive. Great job. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
|
This poem is so heartfelt. I could feel your emotions well through your words. The words are so descriptive. Great job. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
-
Many thanks for your kind words of encouragement, your review means a lot to me, God bless You,
Sarah
Comment from Madeleine Mardis
Wow. This is very beautiful, very dramatic and emotional! It does indeed seem Shakespearean! A great post, congrats on your milestone!
I want to mention, I redid the last verse of Emerged October Poem. Your review really stuck with me! About last verse, why the Big Kahuna would assist a dried leaf, I
don't know, haha, not sure if that line can pass muster. Maybe I can play it off like, who am I to question The Big Kahuna haha, guffaw, chortle?! Maddy
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
 |
Wow. This is very beautiful, very dramatic and emotional! It does indeed seem Shakespearean! A great post, congrats on your milestone!
I want to mention, I redid the last verse of Emerged October Poem. Your review really stuck with me! About last verse, why the Big Kahuna would assist a dried leaf, I
don't know, haha, not sure if that line can pass muster. Maybe I can play it off like, who am I to question The Big Kahuna haha, guffaw, chortle?! Maddy
Comment Written 05-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
-
Dear Maddy, thank You so much for your rating, i am glad you loved my poems, i like yours too, your ratings are priceless to me, there is a book launch on my work this week on Amazon « Mesmerising Poetry « and « Poésie Spirituelle « if everything goes well :) fingers crossed. Take care !
Sarah
Comment from shad blunt
My heart reaches to catch the tears that I feel from reading this poem. Pain is always followed with growth to love again, when we love ourselves. Looking forward to reading more of your work. best wishes shadrach
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2024
|
My heart reaches to catch the tears that I feel from reading this poem. Pain is always followed with growth to love again, when we love ourselves. Looking forward to reading more of your work. best wishes shadrach
Comment Written 05-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2024
-
many thanks Shadrach, your review is very much appreciated, all the best. Sarah