Paradise Lost
Genesis 3:1 - 3:242 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was terrific. First, the word choices at the start of each line is natural. I know that's not easy to do. The storytelling is excellent. The way you weave together the garden's serenity is great. But there is a sense of mischief and consequence at the start that you hint at quite well. It's an enjoyable read that showcases your talent. Well done!
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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I thought this was terrific. First, the word choices at the start of each line is natural. I know that's not easy to do. The storytelling is excellent. The way you weave together the garden's serenity is great. But there is a sense of mischief and consequence at the start that you hint at quite well. It's an enjoyable read that showcases your talent. Well done!
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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So generous, Michael. Much appreciated.
Comment from mermaids
Excellent telling of the Garden of Eden story. The reader can see clearly Adam and Eve being banished from the garden. Your acrostic form is smooth and tells a vivid story. I admire your smooth rhyming of words.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Excellent telling of the Garden of Eden story. The reader can see clearly Adam and Eve being banished from the garden. Your acrostic form is smooth and tells a vivid story. I admire your smooth rhyming of words.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Many thanks.
