Valse de poèmes
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Mirror Eyes"inspiring poems for the souls and hearts
14 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Some people's eyes are like a mirror to their soul. Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Last week I posted a Haiku. I am NOT a poem, and my reviewers told me there are no capitalization in Haiku. I enjoyed reading this entry and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
  |
Some people's eyes are like a mirror to their soul. Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Last week I posted a Haiku. I am NOT a poem, and my reviewers told me there are no capitalization in Haiku. I enjoyed reading this entry and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
-
many thanks for the kind review. blessings. Sarah
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hello Sarah!
Nice to meet you! I think this is the first time I have reviewed your work. Your Haiku makes quite an impression. It implies the subject's reward for making a connection with the narrator. I absolutely LOVE the combination of "eternal infinite." These words seem to mean the same thing, but they do not if one thinks about it. "Eternal" is ALWAYS time, but "infinite" can be both time AND space. I'm not sure if I have ever seen these two words put together, but I really like it!
Just two things I wanted to point out. Please disregard any of this advice if you don't agree.
---Did you mean "Loose" in the first line or "Lose?" Just pointing it out in case it was a typo. Both words work perfectly well, I just have my editor's cap on!
---I might also suggest a bolder and larger font for your words. This is just aesthetic, but since this is a review, I would like to share my opinion.
Anyway, I think you did a great job with this, and I wish you luck in the contest!
Patrick
|
Hello Sarah!
Nice to meet you! I think this is the first time I have reviewed your work. Your Haiku makes quite an impression. It implies the subject's reward for making a connection with the narrator. I absolutely LOVE the combination of "eternal infinite." These words seem to mean the same thing, but they do not if one thinks about it. "Eternal" is ALWAYS time, but "infinite" can be both time AND space. I'm not sure if I have ever seen these two words put together, but I really like it!
Just two things I wanted to point out. Please disregard any of this advice if you don't agree.
---Did you mean "Loose" in the first line or "Lose?" Just pointing it out in case it was a typo. Both words work perfectly well, I just have my editor's cap on!
---I might also suggest a bolder and larger font for your words. This is just aesthetic, but since this is a review, I would like to share my opinion.
Anyway, I think you did a great job with this, and I wish you luck in the contest!
Patrick
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
Comment from jessizero
I think you have too few syllables on that second line and too many on the last line. Other than that, I enjoyed your poem. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
|
I think you have too few syllables on that second line and too many on the last line. Other than that, I enjoyed your poem. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2024
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Haiku Poem contest. I enjoyed the romance behind this poem. The eyes are the windows to the soul, perhaps they are the mirrors of the heart as well. Good luck in the contest.
|
An excellent entry for the Haiku Poem contest. I enjoyed the romance behind this poem. The eyes are the windows to the soul, perhaps they are the mirrors of the heart as well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2024
Comment from jake cosmos aller
LIke this senryu about losing onself in one's eyes which are gateway to the soul in many mystical occult traditions around the world. I like the image chosen
|
LIke this senryu about losing onself in one's eyes which are gateway to the soul in many mystical occult traditions around the world. I like the image chosen
Comment Written 24-Sep-2024
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Sarah. You created an excellent cover for your poem using your own eyes. I like strong single lines or phrases in poetry and your last line is impressive. It is quite a phrase you have put together. Well done, and good luck in the contest.
zim
|
Hello Sarah. You created an excellent cover for your poem using your own eyes. I like strong single lines or phrases in poetry and your last line is impressive. It is quite a phrase you have put together. Well done, and good luck in the contest.
zim
Comment Written 24-Sep-2024
Comment from LJbutterfly
Though not about nature, as a typical Haiku, your words are clear and meaningful. Much can be revealed by looking deep into a person's eyes. Welcome to FanStory, and I wish you the best in the contest.
|
Though not about nature, as a typical Haiku, your words are clear and meaningful. Much can be revealed by looking deep into a person's eyes. Welcome to FanStory, and I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2024
Comment from papa55mike
Yes, the eyes are the gateway to the soul, but I see more, straight to the heart. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
|
Yes, the eyes are the gateway to the soul, but I see more, straight to the heart. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 24-Sep-2024
Comment from Amelie Johns
Beautiful Haiku poem. I particularly like the third line 'the eternal infinite'. As they say, the eyes are the key to the soul. There is an eternal vastness when you look inside someone's eyes. My neurology makes me not a huge fan of eye contact. The infinite aspect you describe in this poem is what terrifies me. Not so much with the every day glances we make at each other. But when you meet someone that likes to engage in intense eye contact.
Right, I'm going off in a tangent now. This is a great poem. Wish you all the best in the contest. And I like how you have created your own artwork.
Amelie
|
Beautiful Haiku poem. I particularly like the third line 'the eternal infinite'. As they say, the eyes are the key to the soul. There is an eternal vastness when you look inside someone's eyes. My neurology makes me not a huge fan of eye contact. The infinite aspect you describe in this poem is what terrifies me. Not so much with the every day glances we make at each other. But when you meet someone that likes to engage in intense eye contact.
Right, I'm going off in a tangent now. This is a great poem. Wish you all the best in the contest. And I like how you have created your own artwork.
Amelie
Comment Written 24-Sep-2024
Comment from gansach
This is a nice entry for the Haiku Poetry competition. I like your photograph, you do have deep, beautiful eyes that one could get lost in. Your haiku has the correct line and syllable count. Nicely done!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
|
This is a nice entry for the Haiku Poetry competition. I like your photograph, you do have deep, beautiful eyes that one could get lost in. Your haiku has the correct line and syllable count. Nicely done!
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
-
Thank You