Penumbra
a shrouded space5 total reviews
Comment from zanya
An interesting group of fellow travellers thrown together in an elevator and obliged to deal with the strife and the fear -both young and old -life lessons can happen anywhere!
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An interesting group of fellow travellers thrown together in an elevator and obliged to deal with the strife and the fear -both young and old -life lessons can happen anywhere!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2024
Comment from Aiona
What an interesting piece! I love the self-reflectiveness and the deep POV. The only thing is I wonder about the relationship between John and Cindy. Having lost a part of their family, that they wouldn't cling closer to each other rather than separate. But that's just me. If the father is narcissistic, then the only thing to do would be to garner negative attention, because lack of any attention from the parent means "death" to a child. Also, in the very first introspection, Mark is absent from that paragraph-montage. :) One typo: "Despite her outward defiance, Cindy deeply yearns for a sense of normalcy and connection, which she often expresses through tantrums and complaints" needs a period at the end.
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What an interesting piece! I love the self-reflectiveness and the deep POV. The only thing is I wonder about the relationship between John and Cindy. Having lost a part of their family, that they wouldn't cling closer to each other rather than separate. But that's just me. If the father is narcissistic, then the only thing to do would be to garner negative attention, because lack of any attention from the parent means "death" to a child. Also, in the very first introspection, Mark is absent from that paragraph-montage. :) One typo: "Despite her outward defiance, Cindy deeply yearns for a sense of normalcy and connection, which she often expresses through tantrums and complaints" needs a period at the end.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2024
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well contest entry about being stuck in an elevator. You used really great dialogue, and the ending was really great with a learning experience for all involved. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
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This is a very well contest entry about being stuck in an elevator. You used really great dialogue, and the ending was really great with a learning experience for all involved. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
Comment from pome lover
this sounds like another one I just read on this site a few minutes ago- 5 people stuck on an elevator with more or less the same personalities and problems. Hmmm
If you didn't write them both, you have a psychic twin.
Katharine
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this sounds like another one I just read on this site a few minutes ago- 5 people stuck on an elevator with more or less the same personalities and problems. Hmmm
If you didn't write them both, you have a psychic twin.
Katharine
Comment Written 29-Aug-2024
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Stuck in an Elevator contest. I really enjoyed reading this. The story kept me involved and anxious to find out what was going to happen. The ending was worth the read and left me feeling good about the change in their thinking. good luck in the contest.
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An excellent entry for the Stuck in an Elevator contest. I really enjoyed reading this. The story kept me involved and anxious to find out what was going to happen. The ending was worth the read and left me feeling good about the change in their thinking. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2024