Curiosity
Two brothers curiosity get the better of them.2 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Wow, what a gripping read! Your descriptions are excellent. I could hear the eerie laughter and feel the tension with every twist and turn. The suspense and horror build beautifully! Great ending. Fantastic job on creating such an immersive and thrilling experience!
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Wow, what a gripping read! Your descriptions are excellent. I could hear the eerie laughter and feel the tension with every twist and turn. The suspense and horror build beautifully! Great ending. Fantastic job on creating such an immersive and thrilling experience!
Comment Written 31-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have something of a plot although I would call it a horror plot rather than a mystery. You do need to do a lot of careful proofreading. I counted me than 20 words spelled wrong, or you used the wrong word. I would rewrite this at least 4 times if it was my work, trying to make fewer mistakes and trimming it a little each time. I have to admit, I have rewritten some things 10 or even 15 times until I found no mistakes. (And then there were probably a few.)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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You have something of a plot although I would call it a horror plot rather than a mystery. You do need to do a lot of careful proofreading. I counted me than 20 words spelled wrong, or you used the wrong word. I would rewrite this at least 4 times if it was my work, trying to make fewer mistakes and trimming it a little each time. I have to admit, I have rewritten some things 10 or even 15 times until I found no mistakes. (And then there were probably a few.)
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Hello, Carol. Thank you for your honest feedback. I always appreciate it. I'll go back and do some more proofreading, and I'll see if I can find the horror category in the theme tab.
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. . . trying not to (lose) it. . . . a (tear) fr0m my cheek. . . ...Curiosity . . . (put the (pieces) together. (disorients) . . . each (creak) sends . . . offers little (protection) (trunk) open . . . what as (it sniffs) . . . . . . to (shake) back and forth. . . . wind (is) ripped . . . . . . sight. Crawling. . . knees(,) I look . . . . . . torch between my legs(,) I light . . . . . . Seeing the edged edges (what does this mean?) . . . phrase, I'm sorry. . . . wooden (shaft) like. . . I (slog) further. . . . . .I stand (wiping). . . . . . Ninth (Legion) of . . . . . . There were a few more but my computer was misbehaving.
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Thanks.
