Light
Haiku6 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Thank you for participating in the haiku club event. Unfortunatly, your poem is not showing. You have to change your font color to a light font, like white, light pink, light blue, light green, etc ... let me know if you need help
Good job,
Gypsy
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Thank you for participating in the haiku club event. Unfortunatly, your poem is not showing. You have to change your font color to a light font, like white, light pink, light blue, light green, etc ... let me know if you need help
Good job,
Gypsy
Comment Written 31-Aug-2024
Comment from BOO ghost
Club entry for the "NATURE IN THE CITY HAIKU" event in "HAIKU CLUB". Locate a writing club.
BOO read that! I used to be a poet. The flower power in the picture is captivating to the naked eye. No words need to be written. Actions speak louder than words! The picture can symbolize many things.
There's a concrete jungle out there! Outdoors. Life thrives through the cracks of a concrete civilization. Life always finds a way! Never vanquish your dreams ..
BOO!
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Club entry for the "NATURE IN THE CITY HAIKU" event in "HAIKU CLUB". Locate a writing club.
BOO read that! I used to be a poet. The flower power in the picture is captivating to the naked eye. No words need to be written. Actions speak louder than words! The picture can symbolize many things.
There's a concrete jungle out there! Outdoors. Life thrives through the cracks of a concrete civilization. Life always finds a way! Never vanquish your dreams ..
BOO!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
Comment from papa55mike
I love the picture but you cannot see the words in the poem. Please change your font to white or another lighter color. Have a great day and God bless.
mike
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I love the picture but you cannot see the words in the poem. Please change your font to white or another lighter color. Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
Comment from SimianSavant
Hi, this is a really nice choice of an image but your text is black on black, and thus invisible. I am technically literate enough to know what it actually says:
Shadowed light
Closely entombed
Grows daisy beautiful
If you make this visible, please message me back so I can give you back some stars. Since I know what you meant to write though, I'll comment on that as well while I am here. Your picture looks like a dahlia maybe? Definitely not a daisy, so I suggest changing either the text or the picture so that they align.
I would also suggest changing the grammar of the last line to make it less clunky. Adjectives come before the object in English, so you could write "grows beautiful dahlias", but never "grows dahlias beautiful" (that's how it would be said in Spanish or Portuguese). You could say "dahlias of great beauty", though that's a bit wordy for a haiku. (See how the adjective has been modified to a noun here, and placed at the conclusion of a prepositional phrase).
Not sure what you mean by "closely entombed" either. Something that's entombed has NO light. Remember that your noun is the word "light", not the flower, so your adjectives in the middle line ought to refer to the former in the way you have constructed this. For example: shadowed light/piercing in slivers, or filtered through windows, or arriving at twilight, or just before the dark. You get the idea of the suggestion I'm making: that the light just barely reaches it, as implied in your picture.
I hope this is helpful. Good luck with your revision, and again, let me know when you have fixed this.
Regards,
🦍
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Hi, this is a really nice choice of an image but your text is black on black, and thus invisible. I am technically literate enough to know what it actually says:
Shadowed light
Closely entombed
Grows daisy beautiful
If you make this visible, please message me back so I can give you back some stars. Since I know what you meant to write though, I'll comment on that as well while I am here. Your picture looks like a dahlia maybe? Definitely not a daisy, so I suggest changing either the text or the picture so that they align.
I would also suggest changing the grammar of the last line to make it less clunky. Adjectives come before the object in English, so you could write "grows beautiful dahlias", but never "grows dahlias beautiful" (that's how it would be said in Spanish or Portuguese). You could say "dahlias of great beauty", though that's a bit wordy for a haiku. (See how the adjective has been modified to a noun here, and placed at the conclusion of a prepositional phrase).
Not sure what you mean by "closely entombed" either. Something that's entombed has NO light. Remember that your noun is the word "light", not the flower, so your adjectives in the middle line ought to refer to the former in the way you have constructed this. For example: shadowed light/piercing in slivers, or filtered through windows, or arriving at twilight, or just before the dark. You get the idea of the suggestion I'm making: that the light just barely reaches it, as implied in your picture.
I hope this is helpful. Good luck with your revision, and again, let me know when you have fixed this.
Regards,
🦍
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
Comment from Bill Schott
No poem here, Dreamatic Writer. Whatever color your text is is invisible to me. .............................................................................................................
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No poem here, Dreamatic Writer. Whatever color your text is is invisible to me. .............................................................................................................
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
Comment from Jacob1395
For some reason I can't read any words. It could be because of the background you've chosen or it could be something my end, but I think you need to check this out so people are able to read it.
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For some reason I can't read any words. It could be because of the background you've chosen or it could be something my end, but I think you need to check this out so people are able to read it.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
