Tintoretto Lived Here
a fable of the Village area13 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
You have created an interesting story from the writing prompt. It is definitely different and should do well in the contest. I wish you all the best in the world. Great work.
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You have created an interesting story from the writing prompt. It is definitely different and should do well in the contest. I wish you all the best in the world. Great work.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Wow, what great humour here! I might have to go back over it again to recap on all the witticisms but that's not your error, it's mine because it's getting a bit late here! Anyway, my favourite paragraph was about Piccolo's father and returning to that far country from which no man returneth - sublime:)) If the brief was for wild speculation and imagination you fulfilled that in spades. No errors to be found; excellent, often hilarious dialogue e.g. I couldn't tell Boticelli from a pot o' chili. Brilliant and deserving more than I can give! Well done and good luck! Debbie
Perhaps, to be picky, I would have preferred the introduction to be in larger font to make more of a statement at the start (reviewers might be put off reading)
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Wow, what great humour here! I might have to go back over it again to recap on all the witticisms but that's not your error, it's mine because it's getting a bit late here! Anyway, my favourite paragraph was about Piccolo's father and returning to that far country from which no man returneth - sublime:)) If the brief was for wild speculation and imagination you fulfilled that in spades. No errors to be found; excellent, often hilarious dialogue e.g. I couldn't tell Boticelli from a pot o' chili. Brilliant and deserving more than I can give! Well done and good luck! Debbie
Perhaps, to be picky, I would have preferred the introduction to be in larger font to make more of a statement at the start (reviewers might be put off reading)
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
Comment from patcelaw
This is very well written and I wish you the very best with all of your writing. I also wish you the very best in the contest. May God bless you and may you have a wonderful evening. Patricia.
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This is very well written and I wish you the very best with all of your writing. I also wish you the very best in the contest. May God bless you and may you have a wonderful evening. Patricia.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
Comment from pome lover
Oh, I am so sorry to be out of sixes because I truly wanted to give you one for this really neat piece. I think it is a very literary piece, well written, knowledgeable, informative, professional. quite enjoyable.
Best wishes in the contest!
Katharine
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Oh, I am so sorry to be out of sixes because I truly wanted to give you one for this really neat piece. I think it is a very literary piece, well written, knowledgeable, informative, professional. quite enjoyable.
Best wishes in the contest!
Katharine
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
Comment from Sharon Elwell
I have to admit I was captured by this story. I would have liked Old Murph to have another chapter to tell about modern versions of the lives of the artists. The photo kind of horrified, which I'm guessing was the point.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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I have to admit I was captured by this story. I would have liked Old Murph to have another chapter to tell about modern versions of the lives of the artists. The photo kind of horrified, which I'm guessing was the point.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Yes. I thought I'd try my hand at different kind of story. Thanks for reading!
Comment from Michele Harber
Wow! You definitely took that line, "Wild speculation and imagination encouraged," and ran with it. I love how you took a simple prompt like "Renovations" and turned it into a character study and an "art history" lesson. You have a remarkable imagination.
I enjoyed the occasional touches of humor, particularly, "I couldn't tell Botticelli from a pot o'chili!" I also like your use of wordplay, i.e., "high energy of human bodies in motion. His own body possessed no such motion," and "soon took a job as an operator. It wasn't long before she operated herself right out of that home."
My only complaint is that I think the story is a little too busy. Things like the "medium-sized guy with a large head" and "tall man with a small head," while very cute descriptions, really didn't add anything to the story. I would put a little more focus on your main storyline, and a little less on superficial points.
Otherwise, I like your writing style. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Wow! You definitely took that line, "Wild speculation and imagination encouraged," and ran with it. I love how you took a simple prompt like "Renovations" and turned it into a character study and an "art history" lesson. You have a remarkable imagination.
I enjoyed the occasional touches of humor, particularly, "I couldn't tell Botticelli from a pot o'chili!" I also like your use of wordplay, i.e., "high energy of human bodies in motion. His own body possessed no such motion," and "soon took a job as an operator. It wasn't long before she operated herself right out of that home."
My only complaint is that I think the story is a little too busy. Things like the "medium-sized guy with a large head" and "tall man with a small head," while very cute descriptions, really didn't add anything to the story. I would put a little more focus on your main storyline, and a little less on superficial points.
Otherwise, I like your writing style. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I originally had a much longer story and hd to cut it down round 600 words for the contest.
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You're welcome. If those extra words added to the plot, great. If not, though, you're fine without them.
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Thank you so much! I appreciate your review.
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My pleasure!
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Your story presents a charming and intriguing narrative with a distinctive voice. Murph's tale of Piccolo Pasquale weaves an engaging blend of history, personal anecdotes, and quirky humor. The transition from a typical renovation story to a fascinating account of Piccolo's life and his creative struggles is smooth and captivating.
The depiction of Piccolo as a struggling artist with grand aspirations, juxtaposed with his humble and humorous realities, adds depth and personality to the story. The details about Piccolo's artistic endeavors and his connection to Tintoretto, despite his financial woes, create a rich backstory that feels authentic and engaging.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Your story presents a charming and intriguing narrative with a distinctive voice. Murph's tale of Piccolo Pasquale weaves an engaging blend of history, personal anecdotes, and quirky humor. The transition from a typical renovation story to a fascinating account of Piccolo's life and his creative struggles is smooth and captivating.
The depiction of Piccolo as a struggling artist with grand aspirations, juxtaposed with his humble and humorous realities, adds depth and personality to the story. The details about Piccolo's artistic endeavors and his connection to Tintoretto, despite his financial woes, create a rich backstory that feels authentic and engaging.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much. I appreciate your words.
Comment from Barry Penfold
Yes, interesting. Certainly, meets the Renovation theme and has an interesting story. Got a bit confused with it but it did keep me wanting to know more. All the best for the competition.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Yes, interesting. Certainly, meets the Renovation theme and has an interesting story. Got a bit confused with it but it did keep me wanting to know more. All the best for the competition.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your reviews. It was a longer story, and I had to cut much out for the contest.
Comment from Esther Brown
Oh that was excellent. A story within a story about a story...it never ends. Curiosity about singular people. Two tiny comments: from whom should be from which? Maybe? Grammar doesn't mean much when someone is telling a story. Also, you used old twice...rickety old and garbled old voice. Just caught my eye. Esther
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Oh that was excellent. A story within a story about a story...it never ends. Curiosity about singular people. Two tiny comments: from whom should be from which? Maybe? Grammar doesn't mean much when someone is telling a story. Also, you used old twice...rickety old and garbled old voice. Just caught my eye. Esther
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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To misquote Clinton, It depends which which you're talking bout!
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Which what? Which where? Jeepers, Someone died and left me in charge of the grammar police....smiles. Loved it. Hope you win!
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I appreciate your kind words so much!
Comment from Shanbreen
You have a great imagination at work here. I like your sense of humor and the portrayal of the building that's to be torn down. Piccolo is well characterized, and I like that you had the possibility of Murph going down with the building. He is well painted (no pun intended) as an age-old gizzard well blended into the run-down building.
Best for the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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You have a great imagination at work here. I like your sense of humor and the portrayal of the building that's to be torn down. Piccolo is well characterized, and I like that you had the possibility of Murph going down with the building. He is well painted (no pun intended) as an age-old gizzard well blended into the run-down building.
Best for the contest.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for your kind words.