The Thunderstorm
I had a tremedous decision to make about my life.6 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Congrats on your win, Harry! Very well deserved! Your fluent story kept me hooked all the way through. I obviously knew something was about to happen but the ending still came with some shock and sadness (impressive in such a flash fiction). Great job! Debbie
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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Congrats on your win, Harry! Very well deserved! Your fluent story kept me hooked all the way through. I obviously knew something was about to happen but the ending still came with some shock and sadness (impressive in such a flash fiction). Great job! Debbie
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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Thank you for the read and the wonderful review.
Comment from Aiona
Ohh, what a sad story!! It follows the prompt with the first and last sentence being the same. I didn't see any typos, but maybe it's because I was too engrossed in reading it. Is it a true story?
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Ohh, what a sad story!! It follows the prompt with the first and last sentence being the same. I didn't see any typos, but maybe it's because I was too engrossed in reading it. Is it a true story?
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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No, but the idea percolated after seeing a cow rescued on a news clip. Thanks for the read and the feedback. So pleased it held your interest.
Comment from zanya
Yes it's a convincing tale and told with a sense of verisimilitude- had to check a couple of times if it actually was fact or fiction - good storytelling techniques evident especially in the dialogue.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Yes it's a convincing tale and told with a sense of verisimilitude- had to check a couple of times if it actually was fact or fiction - good storytelling techniques evident especially in the dialogue.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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This is a fictional tale that percolated after seeing a cow rescued on a news clip. Thanks for the read and the feedback. So pleased it held your interest.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Well done. Good luck with your entry. Was it non-fiction or made up?
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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Well done. Good luck with your entry. Was it non-fiction or made up?
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Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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This was fiction. The only truth was a story on TV about a cow stuck in the mud. Thanks for the read and the review.
Comment from lancellot
Interesting, things did change in a flash.
notes:
"Of course, you know, we were never blessed with children, so we've decided the ranch will be yours if you wanted it when we are gone."
_ I would change the : when we are gone to: when I am gone.
This makes the leaving 60% to Karen make sense, but it doesn't if Karen didn't tell the boy this to.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Interesting, things did change in a flash.
notes:
"Of course, you know, we were never blessed with children, so we've decided the ranch will be yours if you wanted it when we are gone."
_ I would change the : when we are gone to: when I am gone.
This makes the leaving 60% to Karen make sense, but it doesn't if Karen didn't tell the boy this to.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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I agree, thanks for the suggestion and the review. Appreciated.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is an interesting story with a good message. I enjoyed reviewing this. You only have one typo, suck for stuck. This story has good imagery and emotion. Best wishes to you!
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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This is an interesting story with a good message. I enjoyed reviewing this. You only have one typo, suck for stuck. This story has good imagery and emotion. Best wishes to you!
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Thanks again for the honor and the catch of the typo.
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You're welcome.
