Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Call Me"Dawn of Chaos
3 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I like your prayer poem done as free verse. We are always in some sort of spiritual battle but greater is the Spirit within us than he that is in the world.
One suggestion is to reformat your poem and instead of using commas put the phrases in a new line so it looks more like a poem than prose. For example:
Let me help,
assisting,
protecting of all right,
wanting facts to aid;
silencing of those evil did deeds that's bad.
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I like your prayer poem done as free verse. We are always in some sort of spiritual battle but greater is the Spirit within us than he that is in the world.
One suggestion is to reformat your poem and instead of using commas put the phrases in a new line so it looks more like a poem than prose. For example:
Let me help,
assisting,
protecting of all right,
wanting facts to aid;
silencing of those evil did deeds that's bad.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2024
Comment from SimianSavant
I found this post creative, and also rather difficult to read and understand. I suspect your prose is somewhat incomprehensible to native English speakers, and if you speak other languages in which you are more fluent, I'm curious which ones you speak in order to understand better where your style of writing is coming from. Reducing the number of commas might add some clarity.
There is also a typo in your subtitle, likely caused by saving a curved quote. The site can only render these in the advanced editor. Try just writing it as a straight quote, like this: "When it's Time"
Awake me <= write as "awaken"
Thanks for the read,
🦍
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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I found this post creative, and also rather difficult to read and understand. I suspect your prose is somewhat incomprehensible to native English speakers, and if you speak other languages in which you are more fluent, I'm curious which ones you speak in order to understand better where your style of writing is coming from. Reducing the number of commas might add some clarity.
There is also a typo in your subtitle, likely caused by saving a curved quote. The site can only render these in the advanced editor. Try just writing it as a straight quote, like this: "When it's Time"
Awake me <= write as "awaken"
Thanks for the read,
🦍
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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Ignorance, mostly of the proper English conveyance. Graduated high school in two years. I suffered because of that change. This fact has been know since my first post. Appreciate your generous rate, despite grammar flaws. I will try to do better. Five years trying. At 70
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was a moving and inspiring poem. For me it captures the idea of seeking truth in a world that is filled with challenges. I especially liked when you show your desire to assist and protect while asking for the strength to fulfill this mission. Your poem shares a clear sense of purpose and determination.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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I thought this was a moving and inspiring poem. For me it captures the idea of seeking truth in a world that is filled with challenges. I especially liked when you show your desire to assist and protect while asking for the strength to fulfill this mission. Your poem shares a clear sense of purpose and determination.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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Glad certain aspects, detailed within this particular write, found things of interests to you. Thanking you for your generous rate and 🙏 views.