Sunita's Story
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Family Discussions"An unmarried Village girl suffering from vitiligo
4 total reviews
Comment from Tansy Roekaerts
Please tell me you have a book mapped out. It's such an interesting premise, I need to know what happens next! Is Raul genui e? How will she she find life in the US? Does she fall in love with him?
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Please tell me you have a book mapped out. It's such an interesting premise, I need to know what happens next! Is Raul genui e? How will she she find life in the US? Does she fall in love with him?
Comment Written 19-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Tansy, thank you for the review. Yes, I have the story line mapped out-- but struggling with the ending. At the present, I am just getting reactions. I may be making it unduly long but at the same time, I am trying to portray the characteristics of the people involved, not only of the girl (woman), but also the customs and culture of the village.
The next Chapter is still in the village -- the marriage, the sexual encounter from a virgin who never imagined being married, her relationship with her mother-in-law in her in-laws' house, the change of her status in the village, etc.
After this chapter, she will travel to America. I just hope the readers read this through unamerican/western eyes. Also I hope I create the curiosity of what happens next. It may be a surprise.
I may shorten the chapter, taking the emphases away from the sexual contact, although I am in two minds about it.
Once again, thanks, Tansy for the review. Much appreciated.
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As 2 generation immigrant, I don't identify as western or white, but I think your ability to make these characters with different values to the western world into 3 dimensional people and not "villans" that anybody with any imagination will find plenty to relate to
Comment from lancellot
This is a well written chapter. I like the dialogue between both sets of parents and their adult children. It does give the reader a good look into a different culture. I had to keep reminding myself, 'This is normal for them.'
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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This is a well written chapter. I like the dialogue between both sets of parents and their adult children. It does give the reader a good look into a different culture. I had to keep reminding myself, 'This is normal for them.'
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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Thank you much, lancellot for your kind review. Since this is a novella, I have taken time to build the characters as they would exist in their own culture, keeping in mind that marriage and having grandchildren is very important in the village.
Comment from Esther Brown
So glad you picked up your story again. I have missed seeing your name on my messages. This was six but used them already. Been busy with a bit of crazy thinking and writing myself (caring for my son who has schizophrenia and stopped his meds). The story of Sunita is just beginning and I love her already. My mother developed what they called vitiligo on her face and arms, literally had pigment only on her arms and cheekbones. Rest of her skin was albino white. Very odd looking. I have a young Arab man with it. It has been tough for him to fit in here. Esther
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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So glad you picked up your story again. I have missed seeing your name on my messages. This was six but used them already. Been busy with a bit of crazy thinking and writing myself (caring for my son who has schizophrenia and stopped his meds). The story of Sunita is just beginning and I love her already. My mother developed what they called vitiligo on her face and arms, literally had pigment only on her arms and cheekbones. Rest of her skin was albino white. Very odd looking. I have a young Arab man with it. It has been tough for him to fit in here. Esther
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Esther, thanks much for your review. It is amazing how many people have vitiligo but we never hear much about it. Perhaps, the darker skin make it stand out. Nowadays there are so many types of makeup that cover that. Also, in the old world it is probably easier for a man than for a woman (referencing the young Arab man).
BTW, I am glad you are back to writing your non-fictional story. I was reading your latest post. You write so very well. Will comment later today or tomorrow.
On a separate note, did your son stopped taking his medicine for a reason? I have Idiopathic Pulmonary fibrosis but stopped taking the medicine that delays the progress because I found it hard to cope with the side effects.
Thanks again Esther. You are so full of adventure, it's catching.
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Rick hates clozapine. It turns him zombified. We (the world around him) can't live with the unmedicated Rick. His delusion of fighting the anti-Christ in the last battle in Jerusalem is troublesome when he buys weapons and wears them around town....
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Yes, you do have a problem on your hands. I admire you for being able to cope with it. Take care of yourself, Esther.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I think you do a first-rate job of conveying both the language and the culture within these two homes by focusing on the possibility of marriage between the two main protagonists. You also bring out the frustration and disappointment for both Rahul and Sunita that they can't navigate their own lives without very strict approval from their families. The fact that Sunita has this skin condition is viewed by the older characters here as bringing deep shame on them and they seem totally unable to get past their prejudice and indoctrination. One wonders whether there can ever be consensus on this subject. I rather think not. But well done, Shanbreen for this very engrossing and informative write which was a pleasure to read. No errors found. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
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I think you do a first-rate job of conveying both the language and the culture within these two homes by focusing on the possibility of marriage between the two main protagonists. You also bring out the frustration and disappointment for both Rahul and Sunita that they can't navigate their own lives without very strict approval from their families. The fact that Sunita has this skin condition is viewed by the older characters here as bringing deep shame on them and they seem totally unable to get past their prejudice and indoctrination. One wonders whether there can ever be consensus on this subject. I rather think not. But well done, Shanbreen for this very engrossing and informative write which was a pleasure to read. No errors found. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
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Thanks much for your review, Debbie. I know long chapters are hard to get reviewed but you did it. Debbie, I have high respect for your opinion and I am glad you caught the nuances and the cultural aspects of the story. Thank you.