a day in the woods
Haiku 5-7-5 (forest silhouettes)9 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mark,
This is a nice entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry contest. I like it. The picture reminds me of my Grand Bay Trail... without the wooden floor under my sneakers. But there are trails at Fundy National Park in Sussex that are partly covered with wood. Most often, because of swampy ground. They want hikers to keep their feet dry. But I love a trail through the woods. I would have been quite content as a North American Indian.
I especially like your idea of sunlight and shadows painting the wooden trail.
Good Luck!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Hi Mark,
This is a nice entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry contest. I like it. The picture reminds me of my Grand Bay Trail... without the wooden floor under my sneakers. But there are trails at Fundy National Park in Sussex that are partly covered with wood. Most often, because of swampy ground. They want hikers to keep their feet dry. But I love a trail through the woods. I would have been quite content as a North American Indian.
I especially like your idea of sunlight and shadows painting the wooden trail.
Good Luck!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Except for the soggy trail, I would prefer to walk on natural ground and not a wooden trail. Of course, at Yellowstone National Park, you must stay on the wooden paths as you navigate among hot springs.
Mark
Comment from TPAC
How about this way. Forest silhouettes scattered shadows as sunlight paint the wood walkway. Both statements holding their depth of reasoning for its reader. All spoken in my given opinion prevailing this read.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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How about this way. Forest silhouettes scattered shadows as sunlight paint the wood walkway. Both statements holding their depth of reasoning for its reader. All spoken in my given opinion prevailing this read.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Pleased you liked this offering. My typical poetry format is 5-7-5. Longer poems are just not within my poetry wheelhouse.
Mark
Comment from Deborah Dybowski
Your descriptive poem and picture is a sight that causes me to stop and
breathe deeply. I find it a very calming place to be. I like the words,
forest silhouettes, sunlight and shadows and the word paint to describe the walkway. This is a place I need time for each day.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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Your descriptive poem and picture is a sight that causes me to stop and
breathe deeply. I find it a very calming place to be. I like the words,
forest silhouettes, sunlight and shadows and the word paint to describe the walkway. This is a place I need time for each day.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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Thanks Deborah for your comments. I am pleased that you enjoyed the moment.
Mark
P.S. FYI .. my poetry style is predominantly 5-7-5. Longer poems are just not in my poetry wheelhouse.
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I agree with you about longer poems, not your wheelhouse. I don't enjoy longer ones either and prefer to read and write short ones. I think much can be said and felt with a minimum of words.
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Touché - short IMHO is better
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Deborah,
Do enjoy your walk! Whether in your mind or outside, enjoy the calming moment.
Mark
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, A Day in the Woods, has the proper formatting and illustrates the light and dark parts of our journeys across the walkway that bridges our yesterdays to tomorrow.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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This 5-7-5, A Day in the Woods, has the proper formatting and illustrates the light and dark parts of our journeys across the walkway that bridges our yesterdays to tomorrow.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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Bill
Do like your bridging idea for your interpretation of my poem.
Mark
Comment from June Sargent
You painted a very tranquil scene with your words here. I can imagine a walk in the woods as the shadows dance all around me. Makes me think of autumn. Nice job, Mark.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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You painted a very tranquil scene with your words here. I can imagine a walk in the woods as the shadows dance all around me. Makes me think of autumn. Nice job, Mark.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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June,
I am still holding onto summer, but I can see how my post gives you that autumn feeling.
Mark
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
your poem describes the scene in the picture perfectly and makes me wish I lived close to where that walkway exists. That would be my daily walk no matter the weather! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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your poem describes the scene in the picture perfectly and makes me wish I lived close to where that walkway exists. That would be my daily walk no matter the weather! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thanks Marilyn for sharing your thoughts for this 5-7-5 poem.
Mark
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Mark
This is a wonderful entry to the contest. A bona fide real haiku, which we very rarely see on this site.
I loved your satori line. Painting the pathways with shadows it's just a wonderful concept
Isn't it interesting that it would be a painting that changed depending on the sun position? I've never known of a painting that changed itself.
You deserve to win something in that contest. But I'm surprised you didn't enter it in the haiku contest since a lot of people who are in that contest are actually entering.Senryu instead.
No, it's done. It's done you found it into this contest and I still you have a good chance
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Hi, Mark
This is a wonderful entry to the contest. A bona fide real haiku, which we very rarely see on this site.
I loved your satori line. Painting the pathways with shadows it's just a wonderful concept
Isn't it interesting that it would be a painting that changed depending on the sun position? I've never known of a painting that changed itself.
You deserve to win something in that contest. But I'm surprised you didn't enter it in the haiku contest since a lot of people who are in that contest are actually entering.Senryu instead.
No, it's done. It's done you found it into this contest and I still you have a good chance
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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I really find it hard to get the satori line right. However, the Classical Japanese has a seasonal element, which this does not. Without the photo, you would not know the season with the green-leaved trees.
I favor 5-7-5. If I am lucky I can write Haiku in 5-7-5, or with short-long-short syllabled lines.
Thanks for your good wishes.
Mark
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I think yours was a good haiku
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Thanks again for that endorsement!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent 5-7-5 Poem with nice imagery. Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wouds inflicted by reason" -- Novali
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Excellent 5-7-5 Poem with nice imagery. Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wouds inflicted by reason" -- Novali
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thanks Gypsy for your review.
Mark
Comment from Debbie Pope
This is pretty, Mark. I particularly like forest silhouettes. You ought to use that in the one line poem contest that is coming up. Just put it in a different context.
Nice words. Nice image.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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This is pretty, Mark. I particularly like forest silhouettes. You ought to use that in the one line poem contest that is coming up. Just put it in a different context.
Nice words. Nice image.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Debbie,
Maybe I can/will create a one liner with silhouettes as an ingredient (-;
Mark
