Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Spirited Justice Chap 11"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
20 total reviews
Comment from karenina
I knew you'd get Hilda out of that pickle...but reading it is such fun! Your dialogue just flows smooth as silk as you lead us from the interplay between Danni and Elanor to the authoritative but humorous tinge when Donatelli joins in the pursuit. This was where I thought Hilda would end up. but I laughed out loud when an outsmarted Johan snapped "You want some of this?"
(You slay me)
Now Eleanor has confirmed the research is the target and I still have chapters to go to catch up!
I'm really enjoying this, Helen.
Karenina
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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I knew you'd get Hilda out of that pickle...but reading it is such fun! Your dialogue just flows smooth as silk as you lead us from the interplay between Danni and Elanor to the authoritative but humorous tinge when Donatelli joins in the pursuit. This was where I thought Hilda would end up. but I laughed out loud when an outsmarted Johan snapped "You want some of this?"
(You slay me)
Now Eleanor has confirmed the research is the target and I still have chapters to go to catch up!
I'm really enjoying this, Helen.
Karenina
Comment Written 31-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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What? I'm really enjoying this, Helen. It's been so long that you forgot who I am...sobbing in my glass of water now...eww! Salty!
Sound the alarms!!! I've just been told that I will be going out for breakfast or brunch (depends when they get up and going) tomorrow... It's not my birthday, but it's more than I expected...though Corrie did hint that she might not have enough money....of course. And then she said Matt could pay for me. Gotta love it! She spent well over $500 for a 2 hr kids birthday party at a trampoline place but isn't able to pitch in on a breakfast for me. Guess I should be happy they are even celebrating me...
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Maybe in previous chapters we know why Hilda fears Johan, but even so you have definitely communicated that fear in the first couple of chapters. This creates suspense: "While she unlocked the door, Danni quietly eased her way down the hallway. The muffled sounds had grown louder, more desperate." a good ending
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Maybe in previous chapters we know why Hilda fears Johan, but even so you have definitely communicated that fear in the first couple of chapters. This creates suspense: "While she unlocked the door, Danni quietly eased her way down the hallway. The muffled sounds had grown louder, more desperate." a good ending
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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thank you for stopping by to read another chapter, Liz. The story moves fast so it's easy to miss something. I appreciate the review.
Smiles, Carol
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Hugs
Comment from Wendy G
Very dramatic, and it's easy to see how Hilda could allow herself to be entraped - but thankfully Eleanor was able to arrive in time. Johan should now realise not to be so smart with older ladies (or ghosts!) and watch his tongue. Looking forward to the next.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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Very dramatic, and it's easy to see how Hilda could allow herself to be entraped - but thankfully Eleanor was able to arrive in time. Johan should now realise not to be so smart with older ladies (or ghosts!) and watch his tongue. Looking forward to the next.
Wendy
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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Eleanor to the rescue and just in time! She might need to call in reinforcements as this case begins to grow. She definitely has her hands full even with Danni's help.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A wonderful chapter! I really got into this. Loved the pace and fun and the inevitability that Johan was going to be outsmarted, albeit just in the nick of time! At one stage, Carol, you switched to the present tense which I found a bit out of place - He peers through the opening...(it just sounded like a theatrical prompt?) But this is an impressively good read which I enjoyed. Take care Debbie.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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A wonderful chapter! I really got into this. Loved the pace and fun and the inevitability that Johan was going to be outsmarted, albeit just in the nick of time! At one stage, Carol, you switched to the present tense which I found a bit out of place - He peers through the opening...(it just sounded like a theatrical prompt?) But this is an impressively good read which I enjoyed. Take care Debbie.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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I fixed my error and I appreciate the notation from you. That you so much for the help and the awesome review. I am thrilled that you are enjoying the story. Eleanor is so mcu fun!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
Here she comes to save the day. Eleanor (not Mighty Mouse) was on the way. This was a very revealing chapter. Now I understand Hilda's role in the pageant, and Johan's role to stop her. Now, all I need to know is what the research is about, and what Jose has planned. Oh, and there's the question of Naomi. I guess you'll be at the computer for many more hours.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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Here she comes to save the day. Eleanor (not Mighty Mouse) was on the way. This was a very revealing chapter. Now I understand Hilda's role in the pageant, and Johan's role to stop her. Now, all I need to know is what the research is about, and what Jose has planned. Oh, and there's the question of Naomi. I guess you'll be at the computer for many more hours.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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My brain has been spinning on how to work everyone into the story without blowing the readers' minds. Some feel there are too many characters, but that's life...lot of things happening to different people that need to be tied together. And I need to keep a few secrets to surprise you with. LOL
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LaDana Taylor1
Wow this segment had me heated and again confused all at the Sametime lol my.mind couldn't keep track of what was going on it seemed to me as if Eleanor and Danni were really spirits who could transform themselves to beign humans whenever they had to my mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts as to what to expect next. Good work but seeing I'm a Christian it's kind of spicy for my reading taste.. but I think it's very good
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Wow this segment had me heated and again confused all at the Sametime lol my.mind couldn't keep track of what was going on it seemed to me as if Eleanor and Danni were really spirits who could transform themselves to beign humans whenever they had to my mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts as to what to expect next. Good work but seeing I'm a Christian it's kind of spicy for my reading taste.. but I think it's very good
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thanks so much...I too am a Christian and most of my work does not have such spice but because this is a pageant and murders were involved I had to find a way to work Johan into the picture to search for the research papers. I know you wouldn't know this since you haven't read any of the other chapters. Eleanor and Danni are ghosts and they work in solving the crimes. It's just a little somethingdifferent than a normal detective story. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, the good guys/gals always seem to arrive at the ultimate time to save the day. But in Carol's world, it's never over when readers' think it's over, just in time for another awaiting twist. LOL.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Yes, the good guys/gals always seem to arrive at the ultimate time to save the day. But in Carol's world, it's never over when readers' think it's over, just in time for another awaiting twist. LOL.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO ME... but please don't stop. LOL I am thrilled to see your smiling face and the awesome review with it's glittering stars. There is more lurking just around the corner......Gotta love the darkside so we can enjoy the light.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Harry Craft
Well, Carol. I didn't know you were a professional writer lol! I thought this site was for amateurs like me...This was a great story. Have you written any books? You should. This is a very vivid imagination and that is what it takes to write well.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Well, Carol. I didn't know you were a professional writer lol! I thought this site was for amateurs like me...This was a great story. Have you written any books? You should. This is a very vivid imagination and that is what it takes to write well.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Oh, you flatter me beyond words (but keep it up while I smile from ear to ear). I've written all my life and have tons of works, but I've never published. I promised my late husband I would so I guess I just might have something in the works. Thank you for enjoying my story and I hope you will continue to follow.
Smiles, Carol
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Yes, I think you should publish. If you can write like that - you don't belong here lol!
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It's been a lifesaver for me...when I lost my husband and my parents within months of each other, I was devastated and thought I might not ever write again. But a few special friends on FS gave me the support I needed. Thank you for your kind and understanding words.
Smiles, Carol
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Oh, that is terrible! I am so sorry for your lost. That is a big one! Well, just keep writing, it may pay off!
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Thanks! I know I have some major support looking down and encouraging me! I feel blessed that I can write again.
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Of course you can write! You are a professional at this, keep it up!
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You are so kind!
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Well, thank you!
Comment from Jacob1395
I love the dialogue in your writing, it always makes your chapters really pacy. I thought you did the tension between Johan and Hilda really well in the opening and I could see how much they were both attracted to each other. Another enjoyable chapter, I really enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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I love the dialogue in your writing, it always makes your chapters really pacy. I thought you did the tension between Johan and Hilda really well in the opening and I could see how much they were both attracted to each other. Another enjoyable chapter, I really enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Jacob! I too feel that the dialogue is important and it gives a truer feeling to what the character is trying to express. I appreciate your time and yur comments. Thank you so much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Everyone should have and Aunt Eleanor or Cousin Danni. They certainly help Donatelli with his police duties. Did Hilda by any chance told Johan too much about the location of her papers? Good cliffhanger.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Everyone should have and Aunt Eleanor or Cousin Danni. They certainly help Donatelli with his police duties. Did Hilda by any chance told Johan too much about the location of her papers? Good cliffhanger.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Wouldn't that be wonderful, Carol. Some one to warn us when things weren't right or some one to comfort us when we need it the most. Thanks for the review and your comments. I appreciate your time.
Smiles, Carol
