No Rules
No rules contest13 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Steve
This is a fast reading, fun poem about these 'no rules' contests. I guess these should be easier to start a winning streak with. But sadly it didn't start.
Congrats on the second place finish or should they be condolences.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a good rest of your weekend.
Joan
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Hi Steve
This is a fast reading, fun poem about these 'no rules' contests. I guess these should be easier to start a winning streak with. But sadly it didn't start.
Congrats on the second place finish or should they be condolences.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a good rest of your weekend.
Joan
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Joan.
I did have a streak of wins. Now I have a streak of second place finishes. Let's see what happens this week!
Steve
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Hi Steve,
Good for you. Hopefully you won't fall to a streak of third place finishes and return to the top. I stopped entering contests when after 2 years of entering every poetry contest I liked an never even got an honorable mention.
Joan
Comment from rama devi
What fun rhyming, my friend. I'm making a long-overdue visit to FS and find that almost all the people I normally review have blocked standard reviewers (i am no longer a full member here), so I was super pleased to find that you welcome them!
This poem is ironically eloquent! Such fun to read aloud. The rhymes are superb, especially the slant rhymes and internal rhymes. I particularly applaud the rhymes in the closing stanza and the witty theme of your first stanza, with these lines:
Why, we have schools
to grant these mules
who sit on stools
some better tools.
And these are hilarious and unique too:
How will we prod
the slothsome squad,
this peevish pod
who line the quad?
(well, they all are, actually...)
But my favorite is this stanza:
Or maybe hounds,
gadzooks and zounds!
could do the rounds
to keep in bounds
these callous clowns
and ease our frowns.
Couple of minor critique notes/suggestions:
* optional comma additions:
-to grant these mules(,)
who sit on stools(,)
some better tools.
-
To spare the rod
is odd(,)
by God!
*As crimes increase
the wheels we grease. (no period here...?)
release police
The reverse syntax in line two above makes it sounds slightly forced...but if you remove the period it flows fine...
*
'We thrash and flail
but know that they'll
from bail set sail.
I absolutely applaud the use of they'll in this rhyme triplet above.
However, 'from bail set sail' again has reverse syntax that makes it sound slightly forced (to my ear), though many readers may find that poetic.
Still worth a six. Bravo!
I enjoyed your wit, as ever.
Applause!
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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What fun rhyming, my friend. I'm making a long-overdue visit to FS and find that almost all the people I normally review have blocked standard reviewers (i am no longer a full member here), so I was super pleased to find that you welcome them!
This poem is ironically eloquent! Such fun to read aloud. The rhymes are superb, especially the slant rhymes and internal rhymes. I particularly applaud the rhymes in the closing stanza and the witty theme of your first stanza, with these lines:
Why, we have schools
to grant these mules
who sit on stools
some better tools.
And these are hilarious and unique too:
How will we prod
the slothsome squad,
this peevish pod
who line the quad?
(well, they all are, actually...)
But my favorite is this stanza:
Or maybe hounds,
gadzooks and zounds!
could do the rounds
to keep in bounds
these callous clowns
and ease our frowns.
Couple of minor critique notes/suggestions:
* optional comma additions:
-to grant these mules(,)
who sit on stools(,)
some better tools.
-
To spare the rod
is odd(,)
by God!
*As crimes increase
the wheels we grease. (no period here...?)
release police
The reverse syntax in line two above makes it sounds slightly forced...but if you remove the period it flows fine...
*
'We thrash and flail
but know that they'll
from bail set sail.
I absolutely applaud the use of they'll in this rhyme triplet above.
However, 'from bail set sail' again has reverse syntax that makes it sound slightly forced (to my ear), though many readers may find that poetic.
Still worth a six. Bravo!
I enjoyed your wit, as ever.
Applause!
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Many thanks and great to see you back here, even if it's not long-term and you find yourself a little hamstrung. I have to say I have never had issues with reviews by standard members. Indeed, if I've had them I probably didn't even know.
Second place with this as with my previous piece "The Girl From Cootabangla" which you would probably also enjoy. It seems the winning streak I was after has settled into a silver medal streak, although I have had something of a winning one earlier in the year.
Hope all goes well for you and your Mum. I've been following your dog-sitting ventures on Facebook. No hurricanes coming your way this time I hope.
Steve
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Thanks for your kind reply, my friend, and I will check your other piece soon. Glad you're enjoying the doggy pics on FB. I have some new ones to post, but I am dealing with immense fatigue today. See ya tomorrow! <3 Glad you're still here!
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Author,
This is a great poem. I like its rhythm and rhyme, and its message. You could be talking about any school, because there's fools in college too! The ones that take partying 101. lol .
Excellent entry.
Nice tongue in cheek humor!
Best wishes,
Cindy
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Author,
This is a great poem. I like its rhythm and rhyme, and its message. You could be talking about any school, because there's fools in college too! The ones that take partying 101. lol .
Excellent entry.
Nice tongue in cheek humor!
Best wishes,
Cindy
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Cindy.
I'm a teacher - could you tell? but yes, definitely tongue in cheek. We need rules but there may be time to break rules as well. Just gotta know which ones!
Steve
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Clever way to put the piece in play.
I enjoyed the word play throughout. made me feel asa if I had returned to fifth grade where Ms Heintzman with the lovely gams stir my loins for the first time ever, and I didn't even know it was happening.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Clever way to put the piece in play.
I enjoyed the word play throughout. made me feel asa if I had returned to fifth grade where Ms Heintzman with the lovely gams stir my loins for the first time ever, and I didn't even know it was happening.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Ah, we all have a Ms Heintzman in our past!
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Steve
Comment from nancyjam
You are quite the wordsmith Steve. This is hilarious and very clever and
so true. The results of "No Rules" is seen daily on the news and at our border.
I wish you the best in the contest.
Nancy
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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You are quite the wordsmith Steve. This is hilarious and very clever and
so true. The results of "No Rules" is seen daily on the news and at our border.
I wish you the best in the contest.
Nancy
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Hi, Nancy. Thanks for the kind words and the extra star. I squeezed this out at the last minute to enter the contest. Sometimes working under that sort of pressure works best!
Steve
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this no rules poetry contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading. I doubt anybody likes rules, yet they seem necessary for society. Good luck with this contest.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thank you for sharing this no rules poetry contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading. I doubt anybody likes rules, yet they seem necessary for society. Good luck with this contest.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Barbara.
Yep, can't live without rules of some sort!
Steve
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Great rhymes on your journey to seek a win with this poem with no rules and much mystique as I have no idea what it is about Steve, so you have me fooled good and proper, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Great rhymes on your journey to seek a win with this poem with no rules and much mystique as I have no idea what it is about Steve, so you have me fooled good and proper, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Dolly.
Just having a bit of fun here riffing on the idea that a world without rules would not be a lot of fun.
Steve
Comment from Jim Wile
Extremely clever and well-written, Steve. I loved the mono-rhyme of each stanza, and it didn't sound at all contrived. Every word you used seemed like the perfect word to use, and the poem makes so much sense too.
I love your take on a No Rules poetry contest--a poem about what it's like when there are no rules.
If you're not on one already, I think this poem may start a winning streak for you. Excellent job!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Extremely clever and well-written, Steve. I loved the mono-rhyme of each stanza, and it didn't sound at all contrived. Every word you used seemed like the perfect word to use, and the poem makes so much sense too.
I love your take on a No Rules poetry contest--a poem about what it's like when there are no rules.
If you're not on one already, I think this poem may start a winning streak for you. Excellent job!
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Jim.
Any winning streak I was on was ended with a second place finish in the Rhyming Poem contest, so yes a new streak is required!
Thanks heaps for the kind words and the extra star.
Steve
Comment from NanaGaye
Your poem certainly says it all about the world we live in now. My daughter's a school teacher and the things she tells me about unruly students is appalling.It all goes back the parents. I'm a Kiwi also All the best NanaGaye Keep up the good writing
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Your poem certainly says it all about the world we live in now. My daughter's a school teacher and the things she tells me about unruly students is appalling.It all goes back the parents. I'm a Kiwi also All the best NanaGaye Keep up the good writing
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Hi, Nana Gaye. Good to meet another Kiwi here. We used to have several on FanStory, but I'm not aware of any others who are still active.
Thanks for the kind review and the extra star - I appreciate it. And surprise, surprise I am a teacher too although mostly retired now. I still do a bit of relieving.
Steve
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is loads of fun with plenty of monorhymes to please and tease the mind and soul you've put me into a hole. I enjoyed reading these clever rhymes and the messages are waiting for all of us to believe and know that they are true. This may be doublespeak but it is just like this no-rules poem.
Jesse
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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This is loads of fun with plenty of monorhymes to please and tease the mind and soul you've put me into a hole. I enjoyed reading these clever rhymes and the messages are waiting for all of us to believe and know that they are true. This may be doublespeak but it is just like this no-rules poem.
Jesse
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thanks, JJ. Something of a rushed effort to get this posted in time and the monorhyme idea was what came to me!
Steve
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You have a very creative mind, my friend.
Jesse