Ignorance
A little bird frozen has found a place..3 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Hmm, I am pretty sure this contest entry is filled with a metaphor. Our society have become very ignorant and selfish. The rhyming scheme is very good with this entry and none of the rhymes seemed forced. Good luck with the contest.
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Hmm, I am pretty sure this contest entry is filled with a metaphor. Our society have become very ignorant and selfish. The rhyming scheme is very good with this entry and none of the rhymes seemed forced. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
Comment from lancellot
This has good parts, but it could benefit from some polish along the lines of proper sentence structure and punctuations. Also, comma usage and placement. It changes the meaning of a sentence. Also, the last line needs support. You want to show that ignorance.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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This has good parts, but it could benefit from some polish along the lines of proper sentence structure and punctuations. Also, comma usage and placement. It changes the meaning of a sentence. Also, the last line needs support. You want to show that ignorance.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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It was fun write and your review is to the point. Thank you.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi Brian
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
I didn't know the rhyming poem contest was still open. But I guess it is if you were able to post this.
You did have a good rhyming scheme, but no set meter
The meter is not important. It's just an observation I'm making
Isn't it nice when nature cooperates and does something that allows you to write about it?
The reason that birds don't freeze is because they have a lot of fat. Have you ever tasted duck? It's almost all fat or goose? I think the reason that chickens don't have that much fat is because they're probably in barns which are warmer than the outside. Some people heat the barn so that the livestock doesn't freeze. That may be the reason chickens are not as fatty as other fowl. The other reason is that ducks and geese eat fish, which can be a lot more fat than chickens eat when they eat grains
Why do you think it was a sin? He was probably going to fly away no matter what you did.
I think it's poetic license what you're saying there.
You posted it just today so itthe contest must still be open
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Hi Brian
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
I didn't know the rhyming poem contest was still open. But I guess it is if you were able to post this.
You did have a good rhyming scheme, but no set meter
The meter is not important. It's just an observation I'm making
Isn't it nice when nature cooperates and does something that allows you to write about it?
The reason that birds don't freeze is because they have a lot of fat. Have you ever tasted duck? It's almost all fat or goose? I think the reason that chickens don't have that much fat is because they're probably in barns which are warmer than the outside. Some people heat the barn so that the livestock doesn't freeze. That may be the reason chickens are not as fatty as other fowl. The other reason is that ducks and geese eat fish, which can be a lot more fat than chickens eat when they eat grains
Why do you think it was a sin? He was probably going to fly away no matter what you did.
I think it's poetic license what you're saying there.
You posted it just today so itthe contest must still be open
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Thank you for the review.
