Comment from Tomisin👀

Excellent

I love your poem so much! It's extremely sweet, and I love your use of sensory imagery to describe this person, and how drawn the character is to them.Thank you!

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2024

Thank you so much!

Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

Hi Unclear

You succeeded. You got me at the end there, that it was a forbidden love

We don't need to know why just that it is

So you cleverly laid out all the clues of two lovers who were going to meet, but there was no hint that their love was forbidden

I liked this couplet the best

"The touch of the tender grass
shall never make my visit the last."

Was this couplet supposed to rhyme? You have rhymes in your other couplets

" The sweet cuckoo of the bird,
too irresistible for my mind has fallen in love."

I can see how this one could be considered a new rhyme.

"I walked towards you,
to be hugged by your arms,
kissed by the dew drops on my palms. "

I enjoyed reading your poem

Good job. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024

Thank you so much for the elaborate review!! Glad you liked it. I honestly didn't intend for it to rhyme, you may consider this more of a free verse blessing.