Reviews from

His Silence

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "His Silence - Chapter Six"
Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?

7 total reviews 
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A tense conversation, well done to build further the characters of these two and Danielle's compulsion to go with Jeremiah to see Harvey. One edit: (pro)spective. Thanks for sharing, Jacob, another excellent chapter. Debbie

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
    Thank you Debbie and for spotting that error, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It does seem weird that this Jeremiah just turns up and tells her that her brother wants to talk to her. Yet I can see she can't pass up the opportunity to ask him the questions that have probably troubled her all her life.

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
    Thank you Carol, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Neonewman
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Jacob, this is another excellent addition as the tension builds. I'm sure the meeting will be soon, and I can't wait to see what happens next. I understand Callum's concern for her safety, but I agree with Danielle. I would want to know. Great job my friend.
God bless,
Steve

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
    Thank you Steve, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
reply by Neonewman on 15-Aug-2024
    My pleasure, Jacob
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I understand Danielle's need to talk with her brother. There are tons of unanswered questions, but I am worried about her safety or even the emotional uproar this visit could cause. Good writing.

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
    Thank you Barbara, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Pamusart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi, Jacob

You sure know how to leave a girl in suspense.

I'd already read maybe two chapters of your novel. The last one I read might've been the one just before this one where she actually meets Jeremiah.

He showed her the photo of her family with people in the background. One thing I wasn't sure of was why she didn't recognize him since she saw him in the present day. You think he would've looked similar back then.

This is the time where she needs to have a police friend who could look up a background check on him

Is Callum the natural child of her adoptive parents? I think she was only six years old when the crime occurred. And Harvey was only 15. The mystery of why he killed his parents is still unknown at this point. It's probably known by you but not by anybody else.

Here. I admit that if there is such an expression as rocks up, I've not heard it and don't know what it means. It could be a microphone error since rocks and walks sound very similar

I thought it should say walks up

"'This complete stranger rocks up, says all this "

Here. I think that I might get answers

"The thought I might get answers about my past,"

I enjoyed reading your book chapter

Good job. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
    Hi Pam, Callum is Danielle's friend and Harvey is Danielle's biological brother. Thank you for the review. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Callum is right it does seem a bit weird that ten people or more are all living together. I am very curious to find out why and also why he killed his parent and why she remember so little about it. I remember more everything at that age.

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
    Thank you Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Are we walking on egg shells or razor blades? She's not thinking straight and Jeremiah seems to already have a hold on her. Wanting to talk to her brother might not have her thinking straight or everything could go alright. Full of questions and tension...Great job, Jacob!
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
    Thank you Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.