Double Trouble
ride of my life6 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Your story is very good. Howsomever, ( A very Texas word), the meter seems off. I can clearly feel your apprehension, the delight mingled with mind numbing terror. You know, the moments of childhood forever etched in our minds. Karen
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Your story is very good. Howsomever, ( A very Texas word), the meter seems off. I can clearly feel your apprehension, the delight mingled with mind numbing terror. You know, the moments of childhood forever etched in our minds. Karen
Comment Written 13-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Thanks so much! I appreciate it!
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:-)
Comment from Esther Brown
Oh the mischief we get up to when we accept a dare! Great little story. Could have been me. I saw a misspelling: Geotgie,
Easy fix. I think you did a great job.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Oh the mischief we get up to when we accept a dare! Great little story. Could have been me. I saw a misspelling: Geotgie,
Easy fix. I think you did a great job.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Thanks, I caught the misspell as I was re-reading and changed it. Appreciate it!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your poem has such a delightful rhythm. I love the storytelling. I also love how you captured the mix of childhood excitement and that moment when things take a turn. I could almost feel the nervousness and the rush of the ride. The ending wraps it up perfectly with a touch of humor! Wonderful work!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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Your poem has such a delightful rhythm. I love the storytelling. I also love how you captured the mix of childhood excitement and that moment when things take a turn. I could almost feel the nervousness and the rush of the ride. The ending wraps it up perfectly with a touch of humor! Wonderful work!
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that.
I really liked your poem. It had a very good rhyming scheme and it flowed well.
I have my own bike story. I accidentally pedaled down a steep driveway and when I got to the street I couldn't stop and there was a fence that I had to grab onto in order to avoid falling off a cliff so I got a bunch of splinters, and my sister was trying to find me. She couldn't find me and then she heard me call her name and she found me snd she helped me get out and I guess she helped me get the bike too
Is this autobiographical?? Somehow, I feel maybe it's not. But you've done a good job making it seem real and why did you go on that bike at all ? I wouldn't have gotten on it. I can't say that because when I was in my Foster home there was a real kid of the foster parents He had a motorcycle and that was the only way that I could get back to school. you've done a good job making it seem real and why did you go on that bike at all l? I wouldn't have gotten on it. I can't say that because when I was in my foster home the boologival son of the foster parents had a motorcycle and sometimes that was the only way I could get to school and I was deathly afraid the whole time.
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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Hi
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that.
I really liked your poem. It had a very good rhyming scheme and it flowed well.
I have my own bike story. I accidentally pedaled down a steep driveway and when I got to the street I couldn't stop and there was a fence that I had to grab onto in order to avoid falling off a cliff so I got a bunch of splinters, and my sister was trying to find me. She couldn't find me and then she heard me call her name and she found me snd she helped me get out and I guess she helped me get the bike too
Is this autobiographical?? Somehow, I feel maybe it's not. But you've done a good job making it seem real and why did you go on that bike at all ? I wouldn't have gotten on it. I can't say that because when I was in my Foster home there was a real kid of the foster parents He had a motorcycle and that was the only way that I could get back to school. you've done a good job making it seem real and why did you go on that bike at all l? I wouldn't have gotten on it. I can't say that because when I was in my foster home the boologival son of the foster parents had a motorcycle and sometimes that was the only way I could get to school and I was deathly afraid the whole time.
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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Yes, the rules say it must be a childhood memory so it is biographical. I was 7 years old and all my friends rode on the bike, then started teasing cuz I said no--so I agreed to ride. Lesson learned. Thanks for your comments.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Double Trouble, fulfills the "naked" requirements and tells a story as old as time. Never ride doubles on a bicycle with Georgie the Crash King.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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This poem, Double Trouble, fulfills the "naked" requirements and tells a story as old as time. Never ride doubles on a bicycle with Georgie the Crash King.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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LOL! Lesson learned the hard way. Thanks so much!
Comment from Caperton Tissot
A fun topic but the rhythm is rough and it does not flow smoothly. I would like to have had more of a surprise at the ending though commenting that you would not do that again adds a bit of humor which is welcome.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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A fun topic but the rhythm is rough and it does not flow smoothly. I would like to have had more of a surprise at the ending though commenting that you would not do that again adds a bit of humor which is welcome.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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Thanks for your comments.