Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

I thought this was great. You do a wonderful job of retelling the Exodus story. I love the dramatically different turn and the dark ending. Your story's intensity and unexpected twist works so well. Great job! This was an enjoyable read!

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and provide encouraging feedback.

Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

Hi

This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!

Well, I always liked Amanhotep at least until now. He worshiped the sun god. which was very threatening to all the priests. He had people destroy the old idols. But then, after his rule, the priest destroyed all of his idols. I didn't know he was the pharaoh that was trying to capture Israelites and kill them

I did know that Mosed was the one who tried to cross the Red Sea

You have made the story far more violent than the original story in the Bible

If Moses was killed, then he never would've had any more prophecies

I enjoyed reading your story

Good job. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024

The question is would the world be better off, if this ending had been true? Thanks for the read and feedback.