Reviews from

beach penmanship

Senyru 5-7-5 (unto the white sands)

6 total reviews 
Comment from bonespur
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This poem hits home with me because my granddaughter and mynbest friend and I were just at cocoa beach, florida this past Monday and Tuesday on anlittle get away and we were writing stuff in the sand. Good job and good luck. Have a blessed day

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
    Yes, we all wrote in the sand as kids, or drew hearts as we became older. We tried also to build moats around our castles, but we could never save our structure once the tide rolled in.

    Glad you shared that joy with your granddaughter.
Comment from tempeste
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ciao poet, you now have 4 votes.

It would be nice if we could wash away at the end of the day all the stupid things we did or said and begin every morning with a clean slate

That said,

mistakes can also be learning opportunities .

They can be stepping stone towards a brighter life in which we make better choices.

Learning from our " errors / falls " will make us wiser and more efficient when we deal with the next problem.

Loved the poetic delivery.

Glad I still had one sixer left to assign.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
    Thanks for your frequent votes and the sixer!

    Mark
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi
I like the way the poem and artwork meld together. Life goes in and out like the tide giving us a chance to rewrite our story.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend
Joan.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
    Joan,

    Thanks for your insight for this contest entry. I like your rewrite comment; that was my intent.
reply by dragonpoet on 10-Aug-2024
    You're very welcome. Glad I got your intended message.
    Joan
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Excellent
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Author,
I loved your senryu poem.
It evoked warm emotions and serene images.
I miss beaches; I loved California sunsets on the Pacific.
Great poem,
Author,
Best wishes, Cindy

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
    Thanks Cindy for your kind endorsement for my contest entry. Beach or lake sunsets (and sunrises too) are the best wherever you are.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Excellent
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Your haiku beautifully captures how love and memories can fade over time. At least that is how I read it. I thought it was a wonderfully crafted poem that says so much with just a few lines.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
    Thanks Michael for your interpretation of my poem. Methinks you parrot my thinking as I penned this contest entry.
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Excellent
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Your haiku has a lovely, evocative quality. The imagery of "white sands" and "etched hearts melting away" conveys a sense of impermanence and the gentle yet inevitable passage of time. The rhythm flows smoothly, and the use of "twice a day" effectively emphasizes the regularity of the tide's influence.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
    Yes, the twice a day tides really reflect how our passage through life has its moments. Do appreciate your support for this Senyru contest entry.